cisco_phil

Yeah I'm getting the idea, my only concern is I might not have a big window to make a move and might not have the luxury of taking things slow. Like I said, I don't see her in person on a daily basis and if and when we are out together, it's gonna be a crowded environment where shes talking to loads of other people aswell and shes gonna be surrounded by all her girl mates like a ****ing perimeter. do you know what I mean? really i need to find away to speak to her more often in person on a 1 to 1, but I'm not sure how...

and how do i get her number without being too intrusive, i guess its not that big a thing:sad:

ok so its like don't just pop the question in 'hey would you like to come to dinner with me sometime, it might be a bit much', instead do things gradually and look for feedback from her. I'm having trouble thinking exactly what to say to ask her out and I know the more you think the more you choke but I can't help but think anything would sound to cheesy! do you think going for a drink/coffee is better than a full on meal or whatever?

Hi Guys, I'm 20 and haven't had much luck in life with women/relationships and stuff, probably because I always seemed to have the maturity of someone 5 years younger than me in some ways but I'm starting to grow up now and have been very interested in women lately. I would say I'm averagely attractive - I'm tall, skinny/athletic blonde and look a little young for my age. Basically anyway I'm sick of not having a Girlfriend and want to do something about it - I've heard all the comments about if you go looking for it its never gonna find you but I've tried and I can't put my mind in that state! Anyway, theres this girl I really like at work and would like to ask her out, or at least let her know I'm interested and find out if the feeling is mutual. I've only actually seen her in person a couple of times for drinks with our common friends but we talk quite a bit on msn at work. Shes really attractive, italian born which I love and shes got a really nice personality - studenty and funny. I am actually quite surprised shes single, I would expect blokes to be all over her but I guess I'm lucky they're not. In terms of flirting, I don't do an awful lot, it's mainly friendly chatting and gossip, and the other way, I don't receive much, but it's probably because I'm not being too forward. My only doubt that she might be put off is I've come accross as quite a p*sshead so far, and I know thats usually unatractive to women. However, I'm really a nice guy when I'm sober and I'm by no means an alcoholic or anything like that, she just saw me on some really mental nights out. I think she probably knows this kind of anyway so probably no biggy. Anyway I want to start flirting more with her, and meet up with her soon and ask her out on a date but it might be difficult because shes not normally one to come out unless its a special occasion (shes busy and commutes a distance). I wish I could see her every day to talk in person but I work in a different building down the road and it's not like I have any business in there usually... My god this is turning to be a masive post but I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to do this and just want to give you a full story. Please, could anyone offer any advice as to how I could approach this, because I really don't wanna **** it up and I know there are plenty more fish in the sea and all that jazz but I wanna give this a good go because shes a really nice girl and hell I'm 20 I feel I should be used to all this dating /relationship/flirting effort, Thanks in advance, I would really appreciate any (hundreds of responces!!! Cheers, Phil

we are not close close friends, like its not as deep as you said you are with your friend. like i said she might be interested, i'm not sure, i want to know how i can find that out. i'm not asking how to ask her out, im asking how to find out if she might be interested without putting myself accross too strongly. and no i am not going to ask her out the sooner the better because i need to find out whether its worth it first. phil

Hi guys, I got to know this girl a while back, and was immediately attracted to her, but being the person i am, i wasnt as forward as i should've been and didnt make a move or whatever. instead i got to know her as a friend(mainly online) and now its annoying because if i make a move it could ruin our friendship. I think she would probly be interested but i need to find out first because shes a difficult person to read-she is quite flirtacious but its just a case of getting into flirt mode without coming accross too strong or freaking her out. does any1 have any advice on either how to go about it or what to say that will help me find out wether she likes me or not subtlely whilst still keeping a state of constant flirting if you know what i mean. I talk to her most on myspace or msn, but occasionally see her in person at random parties we go too (we have the same friends). i have her number also, but dont neccessarily ever call her to chat randomly, maybe il send her a text from time to time. and also i'm not interested in a one night stand or whatever i like her for something more long term. any1 got any ideas? cheers Phil xxx

thanks for all the replies i wasn't expecting this amount of information. I will check out the biopolar thing and BPD and talk to lee again. I dont think my friendship is on the line because he just wants out basically and is worried about the suicide thing. I wont force them to do anything obviously but i will run therapy by him see what he/they think. and btw alot of people have said the suicide thing was a game, it's not because she has done it before(she rinsed a bottle of vodka and a * * * *load of pills-but i dont think she was hospitalised or nothing). anyway cheers phil x

thanks for the help, my confidence is boosted alot xxx

Heylo, I'm writing this on behalf of my two mates Lee and Jodie who are going out. They've been together on and off for a couple of years now and when they have it good they have it really good as in they are so perfect for each other and have such a great time. lately however things have escalated a bit far-i.e. when they have it bad they have it really bad. Jodie gets angry very very easily and this has escalated lately because lee slept with another girl while he was separated from jodie. when I mean she gets angry it is scary. some of the stuff she has done includes: >smashing his car windscreen with her fist(shes got the build of a ballet dancer) >slicing his back open with her fingernails when he turned his back on her >smashing a wine glass and cuting his arm to ribbons with it >punching herself and blaming it on him when other people walk in >i think she may have broke his jaw once anyway the list goes on and its shocking i know. not only does the punishment extend to lee but she insists on coming round every night giving him no time to relax if he asks her, she stops him going out, stopped him smoking, and seeing as hes my flatmate it affects me aswell(this is not my concern though i can put up with that). I know you're immediate reaction would be to say she is absolutely mental and dangerous and he needs to get out of the relationship straight away(believe me i have tried to tell him this enough times) but there are a few factors stopping this: >she is a sweet girl whenever she is talking to me or other people and only acts like this with lee-she has a kind of split personality >they are both a bit insecure at the moment her expecially and they have both thought about/attempted suicide before(this is one of lees main reasons for not ditching her besides the fact that he loves her-he is unsure what she will do p.s.He has tried getting her to go to anger management classes but she refuses. I care alot for both these people and dont want them to do anything stupid. on the outset i would say splitting up or trying to get them to split ip would be a bad idea at the moment because i am more than sure one of them would attempt suicide. however im not a psychologist and no nothing about how to read peoples emotions. I'm at my wits end at what to do and really want to try to help them get through this. Any help would be greatly apreciated.... Phil x

Hey guys, This may seem like a weird post I dunno but hear me out, I'm a student and I don't know if any of you are but one of the biggest issues in a students life is money-or lack of it lol. I survive and enjoy a decent sociallife but am not loaded and definitely have to budget. I want to start a relationship not with anyone in particular but start dating kinda thing and am a bit put off by my money barrier. I am a generous guy and like to buy people things/ spread the money I have. I am worried that if I get with someone, I wont be able to spend as much on them or go out with them as much as I would like and as much as my friends around me. I'm not really a one night stand kinda guy and thats not what I have in mind so dont suggest that but I'd just like to know if anybody thinks money will pose a big problem. Maybe there are some people in similar situations? I really dont want to be put off by this and need some encouragement. cheers, Phil x

hey guys chill out all ur posts are greatly appreciated dont start a fight i will experiment with both giving and asking and see wot results i get cheers

yeah thats what iv been thinking its a good way of going about it but i think my problem lies more what to say. like all i can think of is "hey by the way hers my number, call me" i mean its just...eurgh out of place-i dunno is it just me being paranoid

Hi all, Does anyone having any tips on getting an initial number froma girl-obviously in a fast situation where u dont have alot of time to get to know them or whatever-like in the pub or at the shop. i know cheesy lines dont work but how am i supposed to go about it in a pleasant non slimey way and still get them to be interested. Even not a number but an initial bit of fast conversation if ur going to see them again some time. any help would be cool thanks guys.

bearing in mind il also probably be nervous as hell

Im 18 and still a virgin, the time will come soon for me to have sex and i'm quite conscious of the fact that i will probably absolutely suck in bed. is can just imagine just lying there taking my share as it were and not giving any back. i suppose it takes practice to get the whole passion thing going but it would be cool to have a basic surefire way of giving her some form of an orgasm. i know its an ageold question and there are so many different techniques and whatever but does anybody have any advice? cheers guys much appreciated