THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Pending]

Day10(well day 20 if you don't count facebook)

 

Been a rough day, but thankfully theres been no attempt of contact on ethier side. I know i'm well off enough not to panic and contact her in some fruitless attempt-but i'll be damned if it won't be hard to ignore her attempts if they start.

 

Can't wait to get out to calagry in a week.

[Aldo25]

Day 4 is winding down for me and there's been no contact. I've been going over the good times in my head and trying to figure out how it turned into what it did, but for the most part I have no urge to contact her, in fact I feel if she does try to get back with me I'm going to turn her down, becuase I feel she's not worth it.

[pepsi71ocean]

Im thinking of starting the NC thing, and saw this thread, if i do i'll repost when i start. i figure the last time we contact will be monday. We have had a rocky last few months if you read the thread, and its nothing that she has don( or so i think), well i guess this is a heads up, i'll have a decision by tomorrow afternoon.

[Aldo25]

Day 5.

 

Well, starting up Day 5 now, still feeling a little low when I wake up. But the dreams of her are diminishing to the point where I really have to remember if I had a dream about her last night. Well, I'm off to work now, can't wait till Tuesday, than I can proudly say it's been a week of NC!

[UnderBear]

sorry! Ive decided to break NC and call him... because we need to talk about stuff, so many things are unresolved and if i wait to long he will probably think i dont care. Ive decided to drop outta the challenge.

 

Then you go resolve whatever you need to, it is actually a part of the pre NC. Make sure you know exactly what you need to resolve, go do it, and when that is done the ball should be in his park. Then you can come back to NC.

[Pending]

So are you guys refusing contact with your ex? Or is there just NC on both sides?

[andy5128]

See my thread

 

I am back on NC, will need to speak with her at somepoint to sort a mobile phone out as in her name even though my phone. Other than that it's NC all the way as I guess I am just wasting my time doing any other option as it goes ok for a while and then blows up in my face..! LOL

 

Argh, I am annoyed at myself and just fed up now... Never mind eh.. Things can only get better if it's at rock bottom you can only go upwards..!! LOL

[Insidious1]

DAY 5

 

ALMOST DONE! LOL

 

I JUST got home from the Marine Corps base.... LOL.. wow... kicked my * * * * *! LOL Good distraction for two days though!

 

I feel ok. sense of hopelessness and "there's nothing i can do" mode. I gotta go to work... which i hate.... and will be on later.

 

Mood Today: TIRED!!!!! Hurting inside (Still hurting from the news of the "other guy" and their "wonderfull trip" to the keys together... but oh well. I can't change it... and she will make her own decisions. ) , anxious (to see if she'll call) , lonely , frustrated...

[Puckdog27]

DAY 5

 

Mood Today: TIRED!!!!! Hurting inside (Still hurting from the news of the "other guy" and their "wonderfull trip" to the keys together... but oh well. I can't change it... and she will make her own decisions. ) , anxious (to see if she'll call) , lonely , frustrated...

 

How do you know it was wonderful? They may have spent the weekend realizing they dont really have much in common.

[UnderBear]

DAY 5

 

ALMOST DONE! LOL

 

I JUST got home from the Marine Corps base.... LOL.. wow... kicked my * * * * *! LOL Good distraction for two days though!

 

I feel ok. sense of hopelessness and "there's nothing i can do" mode. I gotta go to work... which i hate.... and will be on later.

 

Mood Today: TIRED!!!!! Hurting inside (Still hurting from the news of the "other guy" and their "wonderfull trip" to the keys together... but oh well. I can't change it... and she will make her own decisions. ) , anxious (to see if she'll call) , lonely , frustrated...

 

 

Hei man

 

It's good you got some distraction, it's what you need.

Remember to focus on yourself, and do whatever you can to make yourself feel better. Look in the mirror and say "It's ME time! I'm the best!" LOL I know it sounds cheesy, but remember, you are a really good guy, and it's her loss for not seing that. Even though you may not really feel like moving on, try to pretend that you are. Picture yourself in a year, with a sweet girl you have fallen in love with, and her appreciating you for all that you have to offer.

 

"The road is long, there are mountains in our way.

But we climb a step every day"

[andy5128]

Hey Ryan

Well I have joined the NC club too, so only a few days behind you!! Stick with it mate, it's tough as been down this road before but it's worth doing to get yourself sorted.

Andy

[UnderBear]

It's sunday night, day 5.

 

So much for the girl from friday. Texted her today, but not even a reply.

So much for building my confidence LOL Oh well, I guess if I survived the rejection I got after ten years with my ex, I can handle this rejection too. Funny though, she seemed like she was having a good time.

 

But still, this little experience has raised my spirit. I feel like there could be a world out there for me even without my ex. I think I am beginning to break this illusion of "my ex = my happiness". Really didn't expect it to start happening so soon...

 

But I still really feel I couldn't handle seing my ex though, so NC is absolutely still on. But I am surprised at how fast my spirit has rised the past week. I feel it is all thanks too me being able to have the right mindset to the NC, as our good friend SuperDave is trying teach us.

 

Don't get me wrong, I can still get down... But just overall so much more capable of looking forward.

 

Feelings today: A bit disappointed, a bit bitter (at ex), optimistic, determined, scared (of losing my optimism and start to feel lonely again), and still a bit weird I guess

 

Please drop me a few words if you want, been e few days since I "talked" to any of you, feel I'm only "logging" the days

[Aldo25]

Day 5 My day is also winding down, and I feel good. This place has really helped me a lot, thank you you guys.

[Insidious1]

WOW!!

 

LOL.. just realized there are about 5-6 people who are on their 5th day of N.C.!

 

We better not let eachother down!!! LOL I know i won;t. No matter how much pain i'm in. I even deleted her number out of my phone! LOL

 

P.S. Puck... if they DIDN'T have a good weekend... i KNOW she would have called me! LOL PLUS.. its been a week since their little trip.. and STILL no contact from her side. Something tells me this is gonna be a long relationship they are in together (even IF it is a rebound). She hasn't dealt with us ending yet... and she is putting her hurt and emotions RIGHT into this new relationship and he is telling her ALL the right things. BUT.. good news is... ITS OK! I have NO control over it... and as much i love her.. i must let her go and give her the space that she obviously needs. Plus.. we all know i need space too! LOL i am a mess!

[Pending]

Insidious1,

Your in the same ball park of me my man. I'm not expecting any contact from my dear ex until that rebound(been going on almost a month now) is over. As you said, these women jumping from a LTR right into a rebound havint delt with anything. As for the new guy-look we all know how easy it is to put on that "great bf" face for a few weeks, a month, maybe two. But eventually that falls apart, and that grass starts to look a little less green.

 

Now i'm not saying when/if this little rebound breaks down that my ex well be bagging me back(the opposite really-I expect me & my ex are done for good) but I thinksome of that hurt we been going through in full blast well make it to them.

 

Your right, we have no control. The only thing we can do, is get on with our lives. If they do try and come back, see how your feeling when/if it happens-in meantime i'm trying to look at everything is the worse possible light(thinking she's gone and not giving mea second though so I might as well move on).

 

Goodluck.

[Aldo25]

Listen to Pending, he knows what he's talking about. It's almost eerie how close his and mine break up mirror each other, so believe me when I say that what he's saying is the truth.

 

We're all here for each other, and I don't think any of us will want to let the others down (concerning brekaing NC). I have faith in you guys, we'll make it through this

[sandyv]

LOL.. just realized there are about 5-6 people who are on their 5th day of N.C.!

 

We better not let eachother down!!! LOL I know i won;t. No matter how much pain i'm in. I even deleted her number out of my phone! LOL

 

P.S. Puck... if they DIDN'T have a good weekend... i KNOW she would have called me! LOL PLUS.. its been a week since their little trip.. and STILL no contact from her side. Something tells me this is gonna be a long relationship they are in together (even IF it is a rebound). She hasn't dealt with us ending yet... and she is putting her hurt and emotions RIGHT into this new relationship and he is telling her ALL the right things. BUT.. good news is... ITS OK! I have NO control over it... and as much i love her.. i must let her go and give her the space that she obviously needs. Plus.. we all know i need space too! LOL i am a mess!

 

I'm pretty much in the same place you are..... it hurts, I guess I should know, my ex dumped me 5 months ago, then came back about 2 weeks ago.... and he won't even GO AWAY, worse than wondering what the hell what went wrong in the first place you know?

[Insidious1]

Agreed!

 

I WISH she would come back.... DON"T GET ME WRONG...

 

But i am doing the same.. thinking the ABSOLUTE worse! I figure its easier to deal with it now... then hold my breath and deal with it later and be hurt!

 

Do you think you will be getting a phone call from her anytime soon?

 

I personally DO NOT expect any.... though i would like to atleast see she has.

 

She has couple of things i would like back (i.e. a $100 key to my condo and my Ipod..... ). I WILL NOT call/nor break my N.C.... BUT... i DO expect that stuff back! lol I often catch myself wondering "maybe she is holding on to it to call me at a later time for some reason". LOL... I think i am fooling myself.

[andy5128]

Day 2, or it will be later this afternoon as will of been then 24 hours since that last text from me saying let me know when you are free to talk about the phone.. I know what you mean Ryan, I thought she may be holding onto the fact that my mobile phone bills and that it is still registered in her name would need to be sorted at some point and that this would be an opportunity for her to contact me for a reason. I think I was just kidding myself, so I thought may aswell mention it and get it sorted out.. What I found funny yesterday was we exchanged a few texts and then as soon as I said are you free to talk about sorting out my phone the reply I got was sorry, no i'm going out now. I kinda thought yeah right..! All of a sudden even though had been exchanging texts for 10 mins or so, I dont think so.. Also ow long does it take to have a quick convo about that stuff. I think maybe she was a bit shocked I had brought up the phone and wanting to speak to sort it out and was not ready to speak to me at a guess.. Being told they want to be a friend but just now and then.. what is that supposed to mean? I wanna be friends when it suits me or this gives me the chance for that contact later down the road.. I just felt that was a cop out myself. Sorry for the moans folks, I am feeling quite bitter this morning! Annoyed that I felt I was making a bond with her again and then it blew up in my face!! Well deffo on NC even though may have to speak with her about phone at some point soon..

[andy5128]

quick question, birthday contact.. Is it something you still do or do you just leave it?? It's her birthday towards the end of the month, she did send me a text wishing me a happy birthday back in mid feb which was some weeks after the break up. Do I send her one, or do I ignore it as I dont want to come accross as uncaring but at the same time I dont now want her to think she has a hold on me!! Your thoughts folks?

[Krisnakay]

Nc-No contact..at all.It doesn't matter what she thinks now,you are what matters.For your own good let it go as it is just another day.Good Luck

[andy5128]

Thanks Krisnakay, how's things for you..

 

Your right it is just another day, best to leave it. It will only dig up my feelings again anyhow as if she doesnt respond I will be wondering why and if she does I will be reading into every word!! LOL

 

Thanks for your thoughts..

[Krisnakay]

I have found while doing NC that any thought that I have has to be rethought before I act on it.I ask myself why would I do that and what good can come of it and am I "tricking" myself?Whatever you do you cannot take back...if you sent her a text and she responded it would probably make you feel better but that feeling is only temporary.You are right,if she didn't respond it would make you crazy wondering and imagining what she is doing that she cant or wont text you back.You have it down pretty good already am moving right along thanks.

[andy5128]

Glad to hear your moving along just fine..

I am just so surprised at myself that this breakup is affecting me like this. Had a couple of long term relationships one of which I was married too some years ago and I never felt like this..! Well maybe because I was the dumper on those occasions so I guess thats the main difference. It's just so hard knowing you cant do a damn thing to change their mind really as it does not work and just ignoring the whole thing and dropping off the planet is the best route to go.. If they then think oh no he's gone I want him back then great if not your on the road to recovery..

Thanks again for your advice..

[chris_nos_2007]

Well I have no idea wat day im on of NC. Its been a lil over 2 weeks id say. The last time she attempted contact was on Wendesday wen she tried to talk to me wen i was signing for a school in the fall. She came up to em acting friendly looking like she wanted to talk. My hurt however kinda got the better of me and i acted liek a jerk by just saying "O congarts i kno thanx" and just leaving it there. She left crying im told. She has a new b/f now however and he was a rebound. Talking the day after we broke up and weve been together for 2.5 years. O well i would say thats breaking NC so im prolly close to 3 weeks then.