Sunkist09 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 brazilgirl, do not call him. If you do it again, it'll look desperate and he'll think he has the better of you. It'll be a repeat of SUnkist. Do N/C. And yes, you need to start over on Day1 Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Its easier for me because I deleted her number so i cant contact her even if I wanted to. Think this is day 10...or 11...not sure. Still the same as I ever was. Link to comment
Sev Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Ok, here i am! In the superdave no contact challenge end of day one! I have had around 6 or 7 days of nc prev but its mainly been lc due to sorting out bills etc for the house, its also hard as we work in the same building! Well i feel any chance for getting back togther has definetly gone (might of been the text i sent saying her new bf looks like a *********!) Anyway its definetly time to go full none stop, strap yourself in No conact!! Ok, so end of day one, not too bad really, only thought of her a little, but when i did the silly thoughts of wanting to talk to her and feeling she must be missing me etc were still in my mind, i expect this early days though! SO onwards and upwards, i hope day 2 goes to plan. Facebook has been deleted, all numbers are gone, only way contact will happen is if she contacts me! I hope it gets to a point by the end of the month that i dont want to contact her. Im firmly in the anger phase i think and when i have seen her recently she seems like a stranger. Sorry for the bad grammar and randomness of my typing, im just typing how its coming in my head! Wish me luck, i think im going to need it!! Link to comment
wiley Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Good luck Sev! You called her new BF a *********! Nice lol I've felt like callin my ex's new Bf all the names under the sun but I would have made things worse for myself! Looking forward to the day I no longer feel anythin for her, I want her to be a distant memory in my mind. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I need to confess something. I didn't contact him...but I did look at his myspace. And I did a little snooping myspace-wise beyond that. (comment stalking) I went to the website we met on, and did an anonymous search for a guy with all his details, and sure enough...he's already made a new profile. I'm staying true to the NC when it comes to talking to him. If and when he does come back, I'm almost positive he won't have someone to come back to. That's OK redreine, we all make mistakes and I have done the same. Can I ask you something - how did you feel when you'd looked at his myspace and the other site? Happy? Sad? Relieved? Silly? Disappointed in yourself? The golden rule regarding social sites/msn/the web is thus: it will bring you NO BENEFITS looking at them at all and you'll feel like a fool afterwards. I know because as I say, I used to do it and the best thing I ever did was get rid of it all. Email address, msn handle, facebook, myspace, the lot. I don't want to know what she's up to and she knows where to find me if the day ever comes that she wants to. NC is NOT NC if you're still looking your ex up online! Sorry for the harsh tone, I just don't want you causing yourself more hurt. I know it's hard, but you can do it In other news...I guess it's after midnight here so that means Day 10 has just dawned. I still feel strong, even though I just found a load of old pictures and - can you believe it, this week of all weeks - old Valentine's and birthday cards from her. Sleep will be hard tonight! Best of luck to all. Link to comment
turkieblue Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I give up, I just slept with my ex last night. And yesterday was when we broke NC. 2 weeks, not bad? *facepalm*, I'll pick up this challenge later, but I do feel much more healed, strong and independent because of it. I RECOMMEND THIS! Link to comment
redreine Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I think I'm just going to look at it this way - if it's meant to be, it will happen. For now I'll just have to move on...and just hope I don't feel foolish about this decision. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I give up, I just slept with my ex last night. And yesterday was when we broke NC. 2 weeks, not bad? *facepalm*, I'll pick up this challenge later, but I do feel much more healed, strong and independent because of it. I RECOMMEND THIS! I dont know...I have done that in the past too and I found out that even though it would make me feel better the next day (I think it has to do with the hormones that are released into your brain....sorry to sound so "unromantic") it would also make me feel way worse a couple days later. Would be curious to know if you still feel better a couple days from now (provided you dont get back together of course). Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Should be day 10 for me but... Think NC has affected her more than me, she found a really stupid reason to call me re: some ongoing financial situation that didn't need to be spoken about as its already been discussed and sorted. I just answered the question and explained I had to go as I was busy, for the next hour i was bombarded with texts asking what is wrong and why i was so keen to get off the phone. I did send a text back explaining that I was busy and got a reply saying that she was upset and hurt that I dont want to speak to her anymore and when I do its very short and to the point, to which I replied that I was busy she knows my feelings and she has made hers perfectly clear so she cant blame me for keeping myself busy and getting on with my life. So I think im back to day 1, not sure if it counts against NC as i didn't initiate the conversation simply replied but suppose contact is contact. Not feeling bad about it though as it shows that she is missing me and from some of the other things she said, she is starting to think about whether she made the right decision by leaving. Not getting my hopes up tho, just going to continue on as before. NC day 1. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Woke up thinking about him as usual. He is moving to another country tomorrow so I will not have his phone number anymore which is probably a good thing (I almost texted him yesterday night). It is just weird to think I will not know where he is exactly anymore. I used to picture him in his apartment and at the bars & clubs we used to go to together. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 He is moving to another country tomorrow so I will not have his phone number anymore which is probably a good thing (I almost texted him yesterday night). It is just weird to think I will not know where he is exactly anymore. I used to picture him in his apartment and at the bars & clubs we used to go to together. Maybe him being so far away will help you in the long term. So yeah...Day 10 for me. I keep having weird 'feelings' that she will get in touch with me on Valentine's Day. BUT I KNOW SHE WON'T!!! Why do I torture myself with thoughts of things that I know won't happen?! I'm so sick of holding onto shreds of hope that are all in my mind. I still won't break NC, I'm used to it now. Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 DO NOT LET HER GIVE IT TO YOU IN PERSON. Dont be mean about it and say that you dont want to see her. Make it sound like you already have plans and either get her to deliver it to your house and give it to a family member (MAKE SURE YOU ARE OUT!) or get a friend to collect. But make sure you make out that you are too busy to meet her in person for it, and make yourself busy. This way she will think that you are getting on with your life and are not bending over backwards to see her. You will need to reply to explain this but shouldn't count as breaking NC as its essential, just dont ask how she is, put any kisses or make small talk. Be to the point, no frills, say what needs to be said and nothing more. She messaged me today asking my bank details. I repiled to that message giving my account details. Immediately she replied "Can i call you ?". I was confused. I asked whether she has any trouble in transfering the money. she replied saying she will deposit on saturday. I said ok I felt really happy. I gave least importance to her. Hope she doesnt call me to meet on saturday. I will ask my friend to collect the money if she says so. Is this breaking NC ? Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 She messaged me today asking my bank details. I repiled to that message giving my account details. Immediately she replied "Can i call you ?". I was confused. I asked whether she has any trouble in transfering the money. she replied saying she will deposit on saturday. I said ok I felt really happy. I gave least importance to her. Hope she doesnt call me to meet on saturday. I will ask my friend to collect the money if she says so. Is this breaking NC ? Dont know im in the same position, Dont think it should count as sometimes it is essential to speak to them and after all the idea of NC is NOT to make yourself look like a self riteous * * * * * but to give yourself and them space. I am counting mine as a breach in NC because we had a bit of a txt convo after the phonecall even tho it was initiated by her. Your call really mate, if she initiated and you only answered with the detail you needed to then i would say no, if you continued the convo past the point of politeness then i would say thats a breach. Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Your call really mate, if she initiated and you only answered with the detail you needed to then i would say no, if you continued the convo past the point of politeness then i would say thats a breach. Yeah i only answered to her questions. I didn't ask her to call me also. So i think 3rd day of NC going strong Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 good lad! Still feel good about mine even tho offically i broke NC by carrying on the convo, but she did say that she has had a couple days recently where she has thought that maybe she made a mistake by leaving which has confused me a bit. Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 good lad! Still feel good about mine even tho offically i broke NC by carrying on the convo, but she did say that she has had a couple days recently where she has thought that maybe she made a mistake by leaving which has confused me a bit. Ok.. but don't get confused. Stick to NC. Let she realise completely that she has made a mistake. She has just given a thought. If you go back, she will change again. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Arhhhhhh! She's just emailed me again!!! Saying that its really weird for her after all these years not having anything to do with me anymore. What do I say back (if anything?)... Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Day 1 after an emotional breakdown. Called him to cry because I found out he was taking his new girlfriend on a trip. He was very sad that I was so sad. He told me to call whenever I needed him, and that he might be doing so many mistakes but that now he's doing what makes him happy. I apologized and said I'm sorry that I'm bothering him. He told me to please not hesitate on contacting him if I needed it. I had not right to be mad at him and I wasn't. So what that he moved on after less than a month. He's not cheating or doing anything wrong. However, he begged me not to be sad and I just can't not be sad. I showed weakness, but I couldn't help it. Oh well, it's a new Day. Day 1. Together we will all get through this. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 brazilgirl21 - Sounds like he still cares alot about you, and in a way is putting you before this other girl. Think about it she probably wouldn't be too happy about you calling him up when hes away with her... but hes ignoring that and putting your feelings first! Says something, not sure what but definatly something. Now help me! what do I say about the above??? Do I reply and say I feel the same, or that Im trying to get on with my life and this is the only way? I dont know what to do??!?!?!?!?!? Help! Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Arhhhhhh! She's just emailed me again!!! Saying that its really weird for her after all these years not having anything to do with me anymore. What do I say back (if anything?)... It's up to you - I would say that the second you email back, NC is broken. It doesn't count if she gets in touch with you! The ball's in your court - what do you think you will gain from replying? Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Day 1 after an emotional breakdown. Called him to cry because I found out he was taking his new girlfriend on a trip. He was very sad that I was so sad. He told me to call whenever I needed him, and that he might be doing so many mistakes but that now he's doing what makes him happy. I apologized and said I'm sorry that I'm bothering him. He told me to please not hesitate on contacting him if I needed it. I had not right to be mad at him and I wasn't. So what that he moved on after less than a month. He's not cheating or doing anything wrong. However, he begged me not to be sad and I just can't not be sad. I showed weakness, but I couldn't help it. Oh well, it's a new Day. Day 1. Together we will all get through this. I understand your pain brazilgirl but I will just say beware of the temptation to call him whenever you're upset. I know he said you could, but it really won't do you any good in the long run as it won't allow you to learn how to heal or deal with your pain independently of him. He'll end up being your shoulder to cry on, your crutch. It's tough but I would go NC and try to stick to it, no matter how upset you get. Stay strong, big hugs x Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 It's up to you - I would say that the second you email back, NC is broken. It doesn't count if she gets in touch with you! The ball's in your court - what do you think you will gain from replying? I do see your point, Im happy not to initiate anything... Txt, email, phone etc. just dont want to look like an arsehole by ignoring her completely. Maybe thats beside the point and the NC is having an effect hence the email... I just dont know... Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I understand, man. I often wonder what I would do if my ex ever got in touch with me. Would I reply right away or leave it a bit longer? On the one hand, not replying seems so cruel to me. But then again, I know we won't get back together and I can't be friends with her right now, so what would I gain from responding? But then you don't want to burn your bridges completely...arg! EDIT: If she ended it, it sounds like she's missing you. You can either choose to play on this by keeping in NC or replying with something similar to what she sent you. It is weird being apart from someone after spending so long with them, but how did she expect to feel? You can't just cut ties, walk away and not feel at least a bit strange or like there's something 'missing'. Link to comment
wiley Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I do see your point, Im happy not to initiate anything... Txt, email, phone etc. just dont want to look like an arsehole by ignoring her completely. Maybe thats beside the point and the NC is having an effect hence the email... I just dont know... What about just something simple if you do... like... Its weird for me too, hope you are doing okay.. You dont want to seem as you are feeding from her hand, you need to say something that will tice her in more if you know what i mean... but i'm not sure what. Link to comment
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