Ixtapa Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Aaaaaargh....I couldnt help myself and sent him a message on MSN (to which, of course, he didnt reply). Blah. Just forget it. ](*,) It has to get better than this ???? I am SO OBSESSIVE over this guy. This has never happenened to me before (well, not THAT bad in any case). I need to get my head checked Link to comment
WomanWriter Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Hey Super Dave, You're awesome! Count me in for the challenge. We broke up three weeks and two days ago from today and I called him once and emailed him twice (all within the first two weeks). I haven't contacted him since then (or he, me) but I have a habit of going on Myspace every day to see if anything on his profile changed or if he took off pics of the two of us (he hasn't yet). I also check the date that he last signed on to see if he has been reading my blogs. I guess me blogging counts as contact, huh? It's going to be really hard not to blog because I'm used to doing it every day. If I block him I think it will look childish. I guess I should just use this site as my new blog, ya? Anyway, I'm feeling kind of sad that I won't be logging onto Myspace for a month from today. Valentine's Day is going to be tough! What should we dumpees do on that day? For over seven years I have been used to spending the day with my fiance. I don't want to hide in my room with the shades pulled down Anyone else have plans for Valentine's Day? What are you doing? I don't have many close friends anymore and the ones that I do have are married...so no luck there! I don't have kids or anything so it's going to be a challenge. Ok, this is officially my new blog amd support group. I will encourage you and you can encourage me! Thanks Dave and all my fellow broken hearts! Link to comment
WomanWriter Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 This may sound kind of corny but I'm thinking of keeping a sticker chart. Every day that I don't make any kind of contact with my ex, I will put a sticker (scratch and sniff) on a chart. When I get to 30 stickers in a row, I want to do something fun for myself like take a trip, go out to eat at my favorite restauraunt (I've been watching my weight), or something else really enjoyable. You could also use stars or stamps if anyone wants to join me. I just like stickers (I'm a teacher) and that way I'll have a visual record of my progress. It might work for some of you other visual types too! Link to comment
SighSob Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I like the stickers idea...I think I'm going to try it! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I went out last night and am definetly going out tonight. But it still feels horrible and empty, but better than NOT trying to have fun. Link to comment
wiley Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I've noticed a few people on here saying that counting the days is making it worse for them. I was thinking the same a few days ago, so what I do now is to NOT post in here every day, and instead, every few days. Then I can check back at my last post and see how many days more i've gone with no contact. Just my 2 cents. Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Day 6. The urge to contact her is rising...really miss her. The low points are getting lower, but the high points in my day are feeling normal again. So NC is working...slowly but surely... Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Tlguy- I'm finishing day 5 and the urge of contacting them really do rises. I can't wait for next weekend when I'm hopefully going to be past day 10! Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 The urge to contact is gonna be far worse with valentines day approaching...am gonna be thinking of her all the time and will want her to think of me...a personal aim for me is to make it past valentines weekend. If I do that I'll feel Ive proved to myself I can do this...I hope. Link to comment
looking4ward Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Almost done with day 6- still mis him but am doing better with being able to resist calling him, Good luck everyone! Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 yes, getmeback, it did make me feel better. considering i havent heard from him since january 26th. a simple little response such as "thank you", did make my day. i'm sorry if that's hard to understand. but it's a step up from being ignored. but since i "broke" a rule..i'll start over. honestly though, i'm starting to reconsider this challenge. i have no intentions on continuing to contact him, but i just think that constantly counting each day is making it seem like the days go by slower. anyone else feel that way? Parlae, I completely understand. If you read through my very old posts, I would have been happy if my ex sent me a blank text.. Yet, what exes offer is scraps, and they only feed them to you if you ask for them... Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 The urge to contact is gonna be far worse with valentines day approaching...am gonna be thinking of her all the time and will want her to think of me...a personal aim for me is to make it past valentines weekend. If I do that I'll feel Ive proved to myself I can do this...I hope. You will do it, TLguy but please do not contact her even after Valentines day...if you set your hopes up for 'just' passing that day, you may have a real come down afterwards, and decided to contact her anyway... Remember, if the person your in love with is able to spend a minute, a day, a week, a few weeks, without having you as their gf/bf, they DO NOT LOVE YOU. Do not punish yourself, x Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I would remove him from your list, and block him. Sounds harsh, but do you really want him to have front row seats to your life, yet he wont even pick up the phone to say "he loves you, and wants you in his life? " Just a thought.. Link to comment
parlae Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 The urge to contact is gonna be far worse with valentines day approaching...am gonna be thinking of her all the time and will want her to think of me...a personal aim for me is to make it past valentines weekend. If I do that I'll feel Ive proved to myself I can do this...I hope. i agree, valentine's day is gonna be a rough one for me it has always been a special day for me and my ex and is also my favorite holiday... not so much this year, obviously. but i feel the same way, i think if i can get past valentine's day, i'll be ok. Link to comment
DeeDee1234 Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 I think this is a good challenge. Its really not the NC part that I have trouble with because I've had NC for about 4 months and we haven't seen each other in 5 1/2. Its the checking up on them part that troubles me. I constantly remove and add his screen name to my AIM buddy list. I constantly check his myspace page even though I can only see his status because I deleted him from my friends list. I constantly go to the online dating site where we met to see if he's still going, but not even logging in - just checking his screen name. I know this "cyber stalking" is really unhealthy, but I just have this need to know if he's really happy with his decision to break-up. I am basically I've been trying to convince myself that he is because otherwise we would have gotten back together. I am amazed at how easily I stopped corresponding with him, but I really to stop this second part. And posting my progress on here will help. This is really a good outlet. I've spent (and wasted) years getting over others and I just don't want to do that this time. Link to comment
and again Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Day 14 every weekend night i half expect a drunk txt off her, but still havent had one. I dont think if i get a txt on my phone anymore it will be off her. Seems so over now. Copeing a bit better with it. Went out drinking all day ok but not my witty self yet. 4.5 out of 10 Link to comment
looking4ward Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Day 7- yay! It still hurts- with Valentine's day coming up and then my birthday a week later. I'm sure he will contact me at least by my birthday if not sooner. Not sure what I will do- if it's a text probably will just ignore but if it's a phone call maybe just chat for a minute then end the call early? Maybe I won't pickup... it's hard to know what's best, especially when I want him back so bad -K Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Day 6 - Weird day. Went out last night and had a very good night. Saw a guy that I have a connection with, he dropped me home, but now am as anxious as ever. I left my phone in this guy's car and I don't know how to contact him, can't see if my ex is contacting me, plus, ugh, don't know if this new guy is going to call me because he has my phone. I have no idea how to get my phone back, calling a friend to get the guy's number but if I call him it will look like I'm too interested. However, I NEED MY PHONE. 8/10 just because I have parallel things going on. Always a good idea to go out and attempt to bond with someone new. Even if it doesn't work out and you still think about your ex, it will take your mind of them at least for a few hours and maybe days. Anyone have advice on how to get my phone back without looking desperate to talk to the guy?? I've been calling my phone and it goes directly through voicemail! Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Day 6 for me and it's felt like a lifetime. Had a bad one today, thinking about her the whole day and when it gets to the evenings I always start on the thoughts of her and her new boyfriend cuddling up together to go to sleep after making love. Sundays really are the worst days, the pain seems double somehow. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Day 6 for me and it's felt like a lifetime. Had a bad one today, thinking about her the whole day and when it gets to the evenings I always start on the thoughts of her and her new boyfriend cuddling up together to go to sleep after making love. Sundays really are the worst days, the pain seems double somehow. I used to have thoughts like this, you need to change your thoughts..and think about the next love in your life, and what its going to be like e.t.c, ...it used to work for me and I was able to get to sleep more peacefully..x Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Thanks, that's good advice. Funnily enough my counsellor told me the same thing yesterday; to imagine being with my next girlfriend to give myself hope. I will try my best but it's difficult to not let in those thoughts of my ex - who I still love with all my heart - being happy with someone else. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 did she really? Maybe there is a new career in the pipeline for me? Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Day 7 A better day than the last few days...probably because today marks the first week point. So I can think in terms of weeks and not days. Am starting to feel resentment towards her for everything shes done instead of missing her...which is good I guess. Link to comment
railguy Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Day 2 for me. Not feeling that great. Going to go out tonight. Maybe that'll help Just so weird not talking to her. Even the last week we were together when she was moving her stuff out and we were fighting I at least was able to talk with her. I keep seeing funny stuff on the internet and I keep thinking, wow, S would love that! or tell her about my day. It will be tough, but I am not gonna break. Link to comment
railguy Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Well that didn't last long. Had to see her to return some stuff she forgot at the house. Brought it over,was there maybe a minute or two. then left. Everything came back. I feel horrible. Came home and just broke down. I can't understand how I I have let someone get so close to me that it hurts this bad. I had my heart broken 11 years ago. Took me a good year 1/2 to get over it. I vowed from that day no one would get that close to me again. and it worked for a decade. I have had other girlfriends, some I have broken up with, some have broken up with me. Didn't phase me for more than a couple weeks. I let my guard down one f'ing time and now I'm crushed. I feel so worthless right now.. Day one starts again tomorrow, maybe I can make it 3 days this time....... probably not. I am so weak. My house is so quiet, so empty........ Link to comment
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