thedude27 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Day somwhere between 50-60. (probably closer to 60) New years was really tough(acutally new years was GREAT, after new years was the harder part). Its got some meaning to me because she is always the first thing on my mind every year, this year was no exception...at the time I did think about her but I was having so much fun it didnt really hit me. On my drive home (went somewhere warm) I was feeling pretty nostolgic and upset. That continued for a few days...although I think in the end it forced me to into the next stage or at least put some new thoughts in my head about how things are really done for us. I guess the pain pushed me a little further into healing. So that was good, still a little down at this point but I know I'll bounce back I always do. Other than that for the most part things are good for me, the week proceeding new years was great. I hung out with family that lives out of state and really didnt think about her at all. Had all kinds of fun, ate some great food and even went to shoot sporting clays which I havent done in a couple years. All in all I think things are moving along well. I guess I realize its not going to be a quick heal like other breakups which makes sense because I was with her for 8 years and we would have married each other had we solved the 1 issue between us. I guess something like that takes longer. I still refuse to be upset for the years I'm "supposed" to be based on the time we are together (those x months for each year together things) lol, its not going to happen. When I look at where I was and where I am now in the 4-5ish months since the breakup I really have come a long way. Hope everyone had a good holiday season Link to comment
thedude27 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 The dreams still happen everynight. That's the one that annoys me the most. It's so cruel. I can assure you they go away I had them every night for months, woke me up early every morning...havent had one in a while now. You are right its annoying because you have zero control over what you dream about. Link to comment
dqueen Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Day 10 Wow, I've hit the double digits. That's progress! However, I found myself getting really angry today. I guess I shouldn't be surprised and should've seen this coming. He is not worth thinking about...he doesn't exist anymore. He is dead to me just like I was dead to him years ago. It's hard now but somewhere down the road, I will be very happy to have closed this very difficult chapter of my life. Link to comment
Imissher Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Day 12 Feeling pretty good today. Been spending a lot of time with my friends. That really helps. I have received a letter from my uncle in München, and he would like me to come live near the family in Germany for a while. I have so much life ahead of me, and I am trying not to focus on this short time in my life. Link to comment
DanY2J Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Sign me up. Day 1 - 08 January 2009 Link to comment
dqueen Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Day 11: I am proud of myself for getting here. But a bit perplexed that I keep having to go to Page 2 to find this thread...are people not doing NC anymore? Have so many people given up on it? Anyway, yesterday I had a little cry. I needed to let it all out. I have had the crazy urge to break NC though in the last 2 days...I want to send him a message telling him what a cold and heartless monster he is. But I'm sure he already knows that. I shall continue to sit on my hands and stay in NC. Link to comment
Robert013 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I think i'm on day 23 on my second attempt at NC. It's still so god-damn hard. The dreams still happen everynight. That's the one that annoys me the most. It's so cruel. To be honest guys, i've posted in another thread that i am considering running away to the UK. 10,000 miles away from her...........seems like the only way i'm gonna get over her! Dreams are just another way for our body's to release emotion. When you are sad in a dream your body is releasing sadness. When you are angry in a dream your body is releasing the anger that is built up inside. I know they suck but it is a good thing that your body is releasing these emotions. Soon they will disapate and become happier. Link to comment
lauramed Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Day 26 for me and it is harder now than it was in the beginning. Broke up almost 6 months ago but we remained in contact, mostly him initiating it and saw each other at least every other week. 4 weeks ago Saturday was the lost time I talk or saw him and tried to call but he never returned the phone call. Made the decision then that I'm not going to chase him, but I'm having a very hard time stopping myself from call his phone. I know it's suppose to get easier at some point, but the last few days have been the most difficult so far....didn't know that I still had that many tears left. Link to comment
SighSob Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Day 11: I am proud of myself for getting here. But a bit perplexed that I keep having to go to Page 2 to find this thread...are people not doing NC anymore? Have so many people given up on it? Anyway, yesterday I had a little cry. I needed to let it all out. I have had the crazy urge to break NC though in the last 2 days...I want to send him a message telling him what a cold and heartless monster he is. But I'm sure he already knows that. I shall continue to sit on my hands and stay in NC. We all sticking to NC, don't worry...I'm not counting the days though...today I cried a little too...it was a bit embarrassing as it was in front of my mom...I think the last time she saw me crying was...10 years ago? :sad: Link to comment
Sturmhouse Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Day 13 for me. Things are getting easier. I've pinpointed this to the fact that I'm creating a lot of hope for myself. I know that this could really end up hurting me down the road, but I know this girl and I know we're compatible and she knows it too. I've been doing a whole lot to improve myself, and I actually like the improvements! She was reluctant to "change" me because she has this silly stupid idea that you shouldn't have to "change" someone for a relationship to work. Well, I read some of that book that was reccommended on another thread, "Make up don't break up," and at least for me, it TOTALLY connects and aligns itself with the dynamics of our relationship. I think it would do the same for a lot of you on here as well. It also totally disproves that idea that there is a perfect someone. Most people who connect and stay together for an extended period of time ARE as perfect as they're going to get, it just takes understanding of the other person to work through the different stages of relationship development. You can get it on link removed for like 3 or 4 dollars shipped. Can't beat it. I went ahead and read the first 60 or so pages on link removed. Once you get an understanding of how your partner works, and how you work in tandem things become a lot clearer; now comes the tricky part, winning her back and getting her to read the same stuff! Link to comment
limboed Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Hi All. Today will be day 3 for me. We've been broken up nearly 4 months and I'm ONLY NOW FINALLY doing NC....for real this time. Link to comment
limboed Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 wow...i'm ridiculously pathetic at this. drank too much last night and ended up trying to call him. i hate myself for it. day one....again. Link to comment
UCLAMike Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Today is January 11th 2009. and I am in my 19th day of NC. I am jumping in on this moment and accepting the challenge. Broke up on August 8th, 2008. I clung and begged until Xmas Eve 12/24/08. It's been 5 months of heartbreak. Starting that dreadful 12/24/08 I went NC. January 22nd 2009 will mark my 30 days of NC. I blocked her from AIM which is the only source of communication for us. I know she's not going to come back and I have no worry that she will ever come back. I am just worried that I do something stupid and contact her again. I won't. My NC challenge is going to be a little longer as I have LSAT exam coming up on February 7th. 46 days for me. I will not unblock her from AIM until Feb. 7, 2009. I hope by then I am completely healed and won't even need to unblock her anymore. Link to comment
jrosete Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me 3 months ago. A month later she was already talking to someone. In the last 3 weeks, I haven't initiated any contact whatsoever. Five days ago she sent me an email asking me how things are going. I haven't responded and will continue to ignore her. I also stopped looking at her myspace page a week ago. I felt like I kept going back to square one everytime I looked at her page. Link to comment
cb663 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 mid october we stopped talking, then i broke nc in the middle of december, saw her christmas day at her brothers house. talked to her last night... very lc, seems to be going good i guess, today i really really missed her, its bothering me lately, i dont know why, we havent been close since maybe september. Link to comment
ljp Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 And I am back. we were doing the friends thing. We were getting along really well and talking more and more. Then I forced a conversation about it. I should have left it alone. He just wants to be friends. I'm clearly not ready for that yet. Back to NC for me. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 My fiance and I broke up around the 28th of October. Got back together for 2 1/2 weeks in December. Went no contact after breaking up on Christmas. Broke no contact on Jan. 1 to say happy new years. She responded back happy new years. Short convo on aim and then she had to go. Then did no contact for a week and 1/2 until she initiated a conversation asking how i was doing. Then she posted on facebook that she was going to a movie with another guy and I broke down and called her and begged for her back. She said she was going through alot, wasn't looking to get into another relationship with anyone and that she needed space. So now i'm fully commited to healing and doing no contact for as long as it takes. I'm sure she won't be able to handle NC because she loves me still, but I'm going to push it until she realizes all the things I've done for her. I'm on Day 2 of NC, but I shall take this challenge. Link to comment
jrosete Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Stop looking at her facebook. It's gonna kill you. You'll feel much better not knowing what's going on. Any new info is bad info for you. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 My wife and I split up on boxing day after 8 months of being married, 5 years together. I've just sent the last email to her asking her to come round tomorrow and collect the last of her things from our house. So as from tomorrow... IM IN! Im going to suck at this!!! Link to comment
ljp Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I am so terrible at this. Starting over yet again. Link to comment
Himynamesbob Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I came SO CLOSE to breaking it yesterday.. i mean i literally had the aim window open and everything... it's been 19 days... i really hope to last a month Link to comment
ljp Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Officially Day 1. I really need to be able to do this. He actually helped by sending me a not so nice email yesterday. I don't know that I've ever not responded to an email like that from him. I'm sure he expects me to respond, so right now my goal is not to respond and show him that I really have changed. Because I really have. He's the one who hasn't. Link to comment
montgomery Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Hi guys, hope you're all good. Day 8 or so, I think. But it's not been about getting her back. Weird, inexplicable things have happened that I just don't understand. She's been acting SO bizarrely. I'm THIS CLOSE to sending her an email. It's just a continuation of the conversation we had before the last straw. It pointedly doesn't mention anything that's happened since. It's just an opening, an opportunity for her to explain. I DEFINITELY shouldn't send it, should I? I think she senses that I'm furious with her. Which I am, pretty much. I can't look her in the eye, we're avoiding each other, it's unbearable. It's impractical and unprofessional. I HAVE to rescue something from this, even if it's just being on civil terms. But I wonder if she thinks that I never want to hear from her again, when I'm just dying to. Not to get back with her, just to understand the way she's been behaving. Go on, tell me that she'll get in touch if she's distressed about it. Heh. This place feels like AA, sometimes. Link to comment
RunMeRound Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Hi guys, hope you're all good. I DEFINITELY shouldn't send it, should I? But I wonder if she thinks that I never want to hear from her again, when I'm just dying to. Not to get back with her, just to understand the way she's been behaving. Don't send it. Wondering what she is thinking is useless. You'll never know and its healthier probably not to know. Put her out of your mind if you can. Day 2 for me. I am a long time lurker new poster. I decided that posting instead of just reading might help me stick to NC. Link to comment
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