THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[crab62]

Today is one week. She sent me an email yesterday, but no response from me. Hang in there everyone.....

 

good job stabbed!! I will be so proud when I get to one week!! Hang in there too

[Robert013]

Day 6

 

I amfeeling stronger noe that I didn't respond to her text message from yesterday. I see no reason to respond to her anymore. This is something she will have to live with. She knew that she would loose my son as well as me if we broke up. The only way for me to get better is for her to be out of our lives completely. I have to stick to NC this is when it will have the best affect on me. It will also affect her now also I can tell she is starting to miss us. Otherwise why would she want to try to make contact with us over the smallest things?

 

I have to let her go so that I can heal and her new relationship can run its natural course. I must convince myself that I do not want her back. I seem to just miss having someone to sleep next to and wake up next to in the morning.

[hulk7280]

Day 1

 

So im back on the bandwagon. I was too the point were I didnt even care.. but i screwed that up on thursday when I saw her at the gym. We talked for a bit and ended up going to dinner on friday night. We had a great time, reminded me of old times..

 

I didnt hear from her on saturday and sunday, then monday i decided to text her.. we chat for a bit... then i ask her if she wants to go see a movie.. she says sure.. then i ask how is thursday, she says this week is no good cause her roomate is leaving..

 

A whole week ur too busy?

 

Then to top it off I heard she was out sat night and got all flirty with some bouncer at a club.. this women is 32 years old and has a child.. i think she would be out of this stage in her life..

 

My heart wanted to me to try again, but now my mind is taking over and I know what I must do..

 

I need to do NC until im 100% ok..

 

ugh.. why do I care and love someone so much that doesnt reciprocate the feeling? Why am I so stupid..

[babes23]

He said that he didn't mean it when he said he didn't love me, that's what i wanted him to say..... hmmm. He said he had missed me and didn't want things to be bad between us. Still no mention of the money though.

 

It continues...

[Venomite]

Day 17

 

I dreamt about her for the first time since the breakup. We went out for lunch at some food court, then started kissing and stuff (I don't really remember). She came back to my place, and my mom said something negative to her, and I yelled at my mom and defended my ex. And the ex was really impressed. She was so beautiful.

 

Then I woke up, and I felt a wave of misery wash over me. I still miss her like crazy and hope we get back together one day.

Other than that, not a bad day, only two hours of lecture

[fiffy]

Day 2

 

Seems like day 100000000000000!!

 

Missing my ex like crazy. Can't understand why he turned into such a nasty man. I thought he was my best friend. I thought he was the one person I could trust but his abuse shows otherwise.

 

I hate missing someone who thinks so little of me to have done the things hes done. I want him to think of me and tell me everything was one big mistake that he was a fool- but it will never happen.

 

NC is so hard now he has stopped calling. I felt I had power over it but in reality he was just trying to hurt me.

 

Looks like everyone is missing their ex today xxx

 

love to all xxx

[thedude27]

Day 27

 

Its almost 30 days, I guess I should be happy. Its been around 3.25 months since the breakup... Yay I'm strong, whoppie She hasnt tried to contact me once, I guess I'm sad about that. I'm sad that she wrecked everything, including our friendship, between us. I knew she wouldlnt contact me so I guess I'm not shocked anymore. I certainly feel better than I did 27 days ago but this whole thing is such a shame. I'm sure 30 days will be pretty hard for me but I will never contact her first(well maybe in 200-300-1000 days when I dont really care anymore or maybe not). Had to go search for some old work e-mails and ran accross some of hers...how we went from were we were then to here I just cant understand.

[Tyler82]

Hi everyone,

 

Im on Day 2 of NC.

 

Been broken up 6 wks, had LC since then. I once went NC for 7 days but one of those days involved picking up our dog from our condo which I moved out of. She left a letter for me which I read. I didnt respond so I guess it doesnt really count but it was really hard.

 

So this past Saturday I picked up the dog which Im keeping for 2 1/2 weeks and I moved into my new condo with a friend. We spoke Sunday via text briefly about one last item to split up. I responded. She then asked how the new place was and how our dog liked it and I ignored her.

 

So its NC until Dec 3rd when she takes back the dog again. We still havnt figured out what we are doing about her. As of now its a 2-3 week rotation with no seeing eachother when we drop off/pick up the dog. We will have to make a decision soon. Im going to start with NC for now while I have her til Dec 3rd. So day 2 it is.

[needs]

Day 13

 

It's unlucky number 13 since she broke the NC and hurt me yet again. I wonder if she really knows how bad she set me back just because she was feeling bad one day and wanted to maybe get back? Changed the next day...she's so cold. I feel like its Day 13 of the breakup when really its been 3 months. I said I'd never contact her and I didn't...I just fell when she contacted me. Hoping it gets easier...

[norstarv]

Day 1

Hard at 1st but I'm sure time will heal

[dqueen]

Day 2

 

It feels so weird that I have not been thinking about him much and lately, I've also been questioning if I'm still in love with him anymore. I love him but am I still IN love with him? I don't know. I think he feels the same way about me too so I will just cut this loss and move towards healing. I'm kind of sad to have lost that special connection with him though...

[challenge]

I can't believe its been over 70 days since she dumped me. It feels like yesterday, and the days since are like a bad dream. 70 days in hell, but I don't think about her much anymore, because I have so many other problems in life now.

I put myself in this position by depending on one person for my stability and happiness. I was so lucky to have her, to spend time with her, life will be miserable without her presense. Now I just cherish the good memories, and am thankful for what I once had. For my own sanity I can't see her again, but I will be pleasant if she contacts me. I love her so much but I have to let her go.

This is the most unbearable experience of my life, nothing else compares to being left by the one you love.

I understand the importance of no contact now- I may have ruined my chances completely with her by seeing her before I was healed. You just say things you shouldn't, it's inevitable. You can't make a terrible mistake if you do nothing at all. Although false hope is also dangerous, so take the advice with a grain of salt. I'd say at this point separation does make the heart grow fonder.

I really love her and hope she ends up happy. If not with me then somebody else. On with my own life.

[stabbedintheback]

1 week!!! Today was better than the previous. Still miss her like hell......but couldn't wait to get home from work and workout. SHe tried contacting yesterday, but know response from me. Keep wondering if she will strike again?

[Irish Jax]

Day 1!!! Made it through today. I saw him in class and did not say a word and left without even talking to him. I was proud. It was difficult, dont get me wrong.

 

I also deleted my facebook account for now and deleted his number out of my phone so I get no temptations. i am going to stick to this no matter how hard it becomes.

 

Onward I go!!!

[crab62]

evening of day 3!!!

 

The exbf and I were part of a cycling club... that's how I met him. Well I haven't heard from most of the members since late summer... but within the last two days I received two phone calls from two different people...hmmmmmmmmm?? Sounds to me like the exbf has told a few people of the split and they are calling for details and probably want to know how I am.

 

As much as I want to talk to them, I'm not going to. It's not the healthiest group fo people and what I say would spread like wildfire... and I don't want anything going back to the exbf about how I'm doing, etc.

 

So with them as well... I will practice NC. In the Spring I will tell them I'm sorry for not returning their calls and tell them I was healing and hope they understand... I'm sure they will... but for now... I'm making sure the exbf has no indication of how I am... even if that means avoiding some friends.

 

but on the evening of NC day 3... I'm doing good.

[waveseer]

I'm on day a month and a half or so. It hasn't been easy because I'm dedicated to really dealing with my emotions this time. I cried last night after accepting a truth about myself and it felt right. I am who I am and I can't change what happens to me when I'm in contact so there's only one solution. In another month and a half or so I have a decision to make about what to do next. Today I think I might dedicate myself to another three months of nc. If I need it, I will.

[crab62]

I'm on day a month and a half or so. It hasn't been easy because I'm dedicated to really dealing with my emotions this time. I cried last night after accepting a truth about myself and it felt right. I am who I am and I can't change what happens to me when I'm in contact so there's only one solution. In another month and a half or so I have a decision to make about what to do next. Today I think I might dedicate myself to another three months of nc. If I need it, I will.

 

hang in the ready2heal... it hurts, we know

[waveseer]

hang in the ready2heal... it hurts, we know

 

It does hurt, but it's the good re-assembling all the scattered pieces of myself kind of hurt. It's a good thing that will help me become emotionally ready to love again.

[jennamajig]

Day 4

 

I slept a little better last night, but I still woke up a little nauseous this morning. Mornings are the hardest. I have no idea what he is up to since I unfriended him on facebook and removed him from my buddylist on AIM (I think he may have done the same, but who knows). Right now I would love to talk to him.

 

Today marks 4 official weeks since I moved out of our apartment. I have forgiven him for breaking my heart, but I still very much love him. I wish he'd reach out; it's what I want for Christmas, but I will not get it.

[fiffy]

Day 3

 

Accepting any friendship or reconcilliation will never happen......................hurting like hell but will keep on going.

 

Wish i could understand who someone could change so much and be so cruel.

 

Just wish he would sho wthe slightest bit of remorse

[crab62]

Day 4

 

I drempt of him last night, uggh. Drempt that I saw him in the parking lot at the health club... and we talked, and then I think I drove away.... or maybe I walked back to his car... that part of the dream is blurry.

 

I told my Mom last night of all the times he called me the wrong name... the name of this woman he liked and hung around with before me... but supposedly she wanted nothing to do with him (she did cause quite a stir for us when we started dating though). My Mom got very mad and said she feels like a fool now knowing this about him because she liked him. I'm more sad today that I hurt my Mom's feelings that I'm sad over him, ugggh.

 

Sorry.. I'm ranting...

[Robert013]

Day 7

 

Another day to get myself back. Another day to look better. Another day for me to realize she is not as great as my heart thinks she is. Another day to focus on my son and I. Another day I do not have to put up with all of her BS. Another day I am not the fall back BF. Another day I owe her NOTHING! Not even a friendship. Another day that she cannot hurt me. Another day to stop living in the past and live for the moment.

Another day for her to see what she has lost. Another day closer to being healed.

 

I am sick of the way I have been feeling for the past 2 months so I am taking action. I have made a concouse decision to stop pining over an illusion. I have made the decision to let go of the past, and only worry about my actions in the future. It is time for me to take her down a couple notches and see her for who she really is. We all need to stop wondering if they are coming back or if they are going to try to make contact. We all need to start living again.

 

Her cowardly actions a week after the breakup have caused this pain inside of me. It is my actions alone that are going to end the pain. You will not be allowed to hurt me anymore KGS. I deserve better!

[Tyler82]

Great Post Robert13! Stay Strong and Look Forward. You dont need someone in your life like her. You DESERVE BETTER! Good luck buddy.

 

Day 3 for me. I remember waking up lastnight after dreaming about her but I cant remember what it was about now. I guess thats good news.

 

Living in my new place now is really helpful. Also having the dog is a huge support and of course my roomate. I think I would be going insane if I decided to live on my own and stay in the City. My options were more money for rent, worse place to live in and on my own but get to stay downtown in the City. Or move outside of the City, maintain the lifestyle Im accustomed too (new condo, etc) live witha friend who can support me but lose that City lifestyle I love. I chose the latter and so far I am very happy with my decision.

 

So Hello Day 3. I welcome you with open arms. I miss my girl like mad still but I dont need someone who doesnt need me back. Good luck to everyone today. Keep that NC going!

[Irish Jax]

Today was really hard. I saw him in class and tried not to look at him. I dont think he noticed, and I know he looked at me a few times, but I just left the classroom and did not speak to him.

 

I hope I am doing the right thing. This is so hard, I know all you can relate. Sometimes I am doing great, other times I just miss him and wish I could hear his voice.

 

Forgot how hard this process was.

[crab62]

evening of day 4... uggh.

 

i felt pretty bad this morning... feeling bad about everything... missing his friendship... thinking of how i will miss him in the spring when cycling comes around again...

 

but i'm okay... we had such few problems and i thought we had so much fun...what keeps me from calling him is the fact that he said he felt like 1,000lbs had been lifted off his shoulders after he broke up with me.

 

i can't imagine what kind of burden i was to him... but the fact that i was apparently a burden... keeps me moving towards NC...