littlej Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Day 31. Not feeling special or magical just a little bit better. Have no intention of contacting her. Just continuing down the current road, just want to see where it leads. Who knows. Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 And now... I'm having a cigarette! Nooooooooooooooooooo! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Muhahaha, Well I'm half way through my second one now, I put them out half way through see. But I must be making progress. A few days ago I would have been half way through a pack of 20 by this time Link to comment
littlej Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Muhahaha, Well I'm half way through my second one now, I put them out half way through see. But I must be making progress. A few days ago I would have been half way through a pack of 20 by this time NO MORE Smoking! haha jk hope your doing better today. Link to comment
bronte Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Day #27...I'm starting to stress about it being mid-April, since that's when we were supposed to start talking as friends again. I only agreed to that so he would stop being so angry about my going into NC and because I couldn't imagine not talking to him for any length of time then--Five weeks seemed like ages and ages! And now here we are in mid-April, and I don't want to talk to him. I mean, I do, but I know it wouldn't be good for me, and thinking about potentially having to hear about the new gf effectively kills the impulse. So my plan is not to contact him and, more importantly, not to un-block him on AIM. If he cares enough to send an e-mail I'll respond, but I think it would be easier to deal with that than an AIM conversation. And of course the most likely thing is that if I don't initiate contact, he won't either. I just feel a twinge of worry and guilt that he'll get mad when he doesn't hear from me at the promised time, especially since he has to have figured out by now that I blocked him on AIM, and we'll end up never talking again... And again, it frustrates me that I'm still struggling with all this emotion and I am aware that he is probably completely oblivious to everything! He's probably thinking he'll hear from me when he hears from me and not worrying about it beyond that...*sigh* Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 bronte, Don't worry about him getting mad when he doesn't hear from you. That's his problem and it's nothing compared to what you have had to deal with. Link to comment
bronte Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I know...I try to remember that he certainly hasn't changed any of his behaviors to be sensitive to my feelings, so why should I care if it makes him angry that he's blocked on AIM or that I'm not willing to be his "friend" right now? But I do care... Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 At least you're getting a reaction like that. It shows that he cares about you at least. My ex doesn't really care whether I talk to her or not and trust me that's worse. I'd rather her be argumentative. Link to comment
cr44hill Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I'm with Mustang, I think my ex would be much happier to not hear from me, and she isn't even with someone else (well, according to her, and I tend to believe her) but she is prob. looking for someone else:sad: Link to comment
littlej Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I just want to get over her already.. This is terrible, day 31 just started to take a nose dive. I dont want her BS anymore but I can't move on. This sucks. Link to comment
cr44hill Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Day 19 I thought I'd be fine after the weekend, with work to distract me. I was WRONG. I have not been able to keep my mind off of her and feel like I want to send her an email. I won't (I don't think) at least not until Day 30 and hopefully later that that. It's just this is the worst I've felt, the most panicky, in at least a week and it caught me off guard. I see where Rap and TRR have been in contact with their ex's (initiated by their ex's) and I'm like "when is my ex going to contact me?! ... I almost broke down in my office after lunch which has never happened, I regained my composure but this is a tough as hell day, sheez! Link to comment
bronte Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 At least you're getting a reaction like that. It shows that he cares about you at least. *shrug* Well, that's where he was back in early March when I last talked to him. I have no idea how he feels now--It's possible that he's discovered that he's perfectly happy not talking to me. Especially given that he has a new girlfriend to distract him. I understand what you're saying, though...Part of why I decided not to un-block him on AIM is that I'm not sure I could bear it if I did that and he didn't IM me...even though I don't want to initiate contact myself and don't really want to be talking to him right now. I guess I'd rather think that he wants to talk to me, even if he really doesn't, then know for sure that he's indifferent. *sigh* Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I just want to get over her already.. This is terrible, day 31 just started to take a nose dive. I dont want her BS anymore but I can't move on. This sucks. I feel exactly the same. It's only been 12 days for me. Each day seems to get worse as opposed to better. But there's nothing I can really do. Just try to remain positive. 31 days is great! Link to comment
hfc65 Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Day 23 Not really sad anymore,almost accepting it I know most of you have it rougher than me but am I an idiot for always thinking about a woman I only dated for 3 months? Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Day 6, or Day 1, depends on how you counted. Her e-mail last night really caught me off guard, shook me a bit, and I'm over it now. Lots of work done today, one more day until the deadline. Ugh...need to focus on work. She didn't respond to my e-mail, that's good. I filtered her out on LiveJournal, that's good. Talked to my housemate (also a friend of hers) about not giving me updates on her, although if she asks about me, he's welcome to tell me that. As usual, I had a talk with her last night, and as usual she wasn't there. I asked her to respect my boundaries, to understand if she ever wants us to be friends, that I have to heal. Told her it had nothing to do with me loving her, it had to do with me loving me. I wished her well, told her I missed her. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 over 4 months and every so often i get sad and thinking of her with somebody else starts to ruin my day... then i call a friend and do something fun to forget about her! i miss her with all my heart but she made her choice! Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Day 13 I didn't sleep very well last night so today I feel and look like an extra from Dawn of The Dead. Nice. After today, it will be me the longest period of NC so far so I suppose that's something to be positive about. I don't have any reason to contact my ex at all and I know that if I do I will ruin all the "work" I've done up to now. To be honest, I don't really feel like I have made any improvements yet. After telling my ex I was disappearing a few weeks ago I felt relieved. I was taking action that I knew was for the best. What's messed me up I think was her reply. I wish she hadn't bothered. It was only written to ease her guilt. All it did was open up the wounds and made me start to question everything she said in the email. I've been reading between the lines ever since. The main thing is that my ex doesn't know that I am feeling the way I do. Although part of me regrets being so nice to her about everything. I don't like the idea of her thinking that she's got away with treating me like this. But there's nothing I can do about that other than get myself back and put her in her place if she tries to contact me. But she won't. Link to comment
littlej Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Better today. I slept the whole night which has been rare since the breakup. I am actually letting go somewhat. This is day 33 btw. Just hit me that's a long time. Maybe she is starting to forget about me. Who knows things are probably swell with her man. She didn't even give it a week before going back to him. Rebound? Maybe. not my concern anymore... Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Mustang...for the 1st 2 months after my wife and I split I was getting 4 hours of sleep a night. I finally broke down and asked my doc for some sleeping pills. He gave me Lunesta which really helped. I only had to take it a few times (on the really bad nights) and it was so wonderful for me to get real sleep. If you keep having sleep issues, you might want to talk to your doc. I don't think you can be of any help to her, and especially not to you, if you don't keep your health intact. Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Mustang...for the 1st 2 months after my wife and I split I was getting 4 hours of sleep a night. I finally broke down and asked my doc for some sleeping pills. He gave me Lunesta which really helped. I only had to take it a few times (on the really bad nights) and it was so wonderful for me to get real sleep. If you keep having sleep issues, you might want to talk to your doc. I don't think you can be of any help to her, and especially not to you, if you don't keep your health intact. I appreciate the advice but it's not that bad. It's not all the time. It's also to do with the fact that I'm back at home at the moment and it's far too quiet here. I can't do anything in silence. Including sleep. I know that sounds weird but my brain won't switch off when it's quiet. I tend to fill the silence with thoughts.... and what's on my mind at the moment? ](*,) Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 I appreciate the advice but it's not that bad. It's not all the time. It's also to do with the fact that I'm back at home at the moment and it's far too quiet here. I can't do anything in silence. Including sleep. I know that sounds weird but my brain won't switch off when it's quiet. I tend to fill the silence with thoughts.... and what's on my mind at the moment? ](*,) I do that, too...I have ADD and sometimes my mind takes forever to shut down. I don't know if that's present for you. Can you fall asleep with the TV on? I used to not be able to do that, my ex always did, and over the years I got used to falling asleep that way. Sometimes the background noise helps me. She also used relaxation mp3s on her iPod to help sleep. I don't know if that's something that appeals to you or not. I never took the sleeping pills a lot (even though they are supposed to be non-addictive, I'm a bit paranoid about such things), just on the worst nights. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Mustang, There is a Paul Mckenna (here I go ahain lol) which helps you go to sleep. Have a look for it, if not tell me and I'll look for it for you. I might get it too Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Anyway, Its day 24, felt great this morning and now not too good, Its all just a big steaming pile of poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Mustang, There is a Paul Mckenna (here I go ahain lol) which helps you go to sleep. Have a look for it, if not tell me and I'll look for it for you. I might get it too Thanks, but you know what happens when I do hypnotherapy! "Start spreading the news...." Link to comment
Seif Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 I think I'll take this challenge too. Link to comment
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