littlej Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Today was really bad for me. The weather here has been beautiful and she and the new man (back with the ex) I'm sure are having a great time. While I'm here with the blues. I feel like day one all over again. She also called me last thursday and we talked for a few. I just wished I knew how she felt. I guess that is the million dollar question. Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 5 I couldn't sleep a wink last night. I keep feeling like I'm going to break down in tears but I haven't as of yet. Her "closure" email has just put so many more questions in my head and if anything, I feel worse off for her responding to my email to her. I was OK with saying my bit and then walking away, but her answers and reasons have just killed me. I am so confused as to how you can love someone and then just "change" and have no further use or interest in them. I just don't know what I must've done to make her decide she wanted to dump me. I know I can't email her back and ask her any questions. I just wish I knew what I did wrong. I don't buy the fact that she just changed her mind. That doesn't happen when you love someone does it? Link to comment
hfc65 Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I know I can't email her back and ask her any questions. I just wish I knew what I did wrong. I don't buy the fact that she just changed her mind. That doesn't happen when you love someone does it? Happened to me Happens more than you think Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Happened to me Happens more than you think But there's usually some reason that triggers it. My ex told me that she was thinking about things a few months before she actually split up with me. Something must've happened one day to make her stop and suddenly think "Do I want to be with him anymore?". I just wish I knew what it was. It kills me not knowing. Link to comment
hfc65 Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I want to know too and have an idea but I will have to be patient before I get answers. Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Well 7th day nc went by still nothing, but today on 8th she came to my parents to see my mom I went to the door she asked for her I said hold on and walked away. Dunno if that counts as breaking NC or not but eh, I was very angry and filled with it for a while, I felt nothing when I saw her but anger. I am moving on and that is that. Link to comment
abnyc Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 3 NC. I left a message friday asking to talk or at least a repsonse. made it clear i wouldn't contact him anymore if he didn't get back to me. I know he thinks I can't do this. I know is he waiting, curious. But it has to be him to come back. he ended it. good luck healing everyone Link to comment
sweeteyez Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 1 of not contact for me. broke up last night from a 3 yr releationship.....cannot call or sms or email, honestly its KILLING Me, but last time we took time apart i was so ashamed of the way i acted, afterwards of course, this is so out of character for me, to not have contact, but i need to regardless if we work things out or not..... day 1 is almost done.... Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 day 18 afternoon when I come home from work and walk in empty rooms it hurts like hell. It is just not normal to so much miss her, but I am ruined. Almost one month since we are not together and now it is even worse then in the beginning, I want to call her to hear from her, but as she doesn't want me in her life I will try to keep it at least 30 days before making utter fool of myself and contact. so I guess that is 13 more days, not that bad. april 21 st is the day. I really would like to be with her, I just feel more and more as time passes there is a love inthere. This sounds exactly like my situation. It's day 16 now and I keep agonising over how to contact him when the 30 days is up felt ok today, went back to work and that helped take my mind off things at first but then towards the end I just wanted to get home. Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 half way through the day and it's getting harder. I really want her to contact me just so I know that she is thinking about me. My plan for the rest of the day is to find something engrossing at work, then go home & work out. then watch dvd's until I fall asleep. Hopefully that will keep my mind occupied Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 theredrocket, I want mine to contact me too, the longer it goes on the more I seem to want it. Just because she isn't contacting you doesn't mean she isn't thinking about you, it just means she isn't dialing your number Someone on here told me that and it makes sense Link to comment
bronte Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 *hugs* to everyone... I'm on Day #20. My thought at this point is that the weekend after this upcoming one I will unblock him on AIM but not actually add him back to my buddy list. Since he has a girlfriend, my plan at this point is not to re-initiate contact myself. I don't see how it could be anything but painful... I think the hardest thing of all this for me has been not knowing anything about what he's thinking...I can't help but wonder if I ever cross his mind at all. Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Well it's 10.05pm here and in about 5 minutes it will be 48 hours NC. And I feel absolutely dreadful. Really hurt and upset that he hasn't been in touch with me. Constantly wondering why....is he thinking of me....does he even miss me or is it out of sight out of mind? When will he be in touch? Really missing him tonight. My reserve is weakening. Link to comment
starlette08 Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 7 NC. i need to make this to the 30 day mark. Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 theredrocket, I want mine to contact me too, the longer it goes on the more I seem to want it. Just because she isn't contacting you doesn't mean she isn't thinking about you, it just means she isn't dialing your number Someone on here told me that and it makes sense I like this. I am telling myself that she is wondering why I haven't written or called her and is asking herself if she should. She is the one with doubts. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 7 NC. i need to make this to the 30 day mark. You will make it Im on day 16 and its kinda flown by in a way x Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I like this. I am telling myself that she is wondering why I haven't written or called her and is asking herself if she should. She is the one with doubts. I hope so. Also, it's harder for us because the break up shocked us and its not what we wanted at all, so 2 weeks or a month of NC will probably seem a hell of a lot longer to us than it does to them, but I bet/hope the more time goes on without a peep from us, the more they will start to wonder... Link to comment
mankow Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 19th The only thing I learned so far is to stay NC more and more.... se ipsum vincere pulcherima res est! Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Consider that dumpers controlled the pace of the breakup, and quite possibly the pace of the relationship itself. I can only imagine how the dumpee suddenly "not needing them" or not being their at their beck and call (some might call it 'kissing their a**') must mess with their minds and their egos. Some may not call for a while just because of the bruised egos. I think a lot of dumpers are bullies, and in my 46 years, the best method I've seen for dealing with a bully is to stand up to him/her. Interestingly, when I did this with some bullies, they suddenly became friends because they suddenly respected me. Its weird, it never made logical sense to me and it happened more than once. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 plus we are counting the days... LITERALY!!! They are not, they're probably running around relieved in some way that they can do whatever, whenever they like, but that won't last forever, not long at all I don't think. It may take them a while but they will probably stop and think to themselves at some point, "has it really been that long since they contacted me?" Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 End of day 2 and feeling very low. Link to comment
LilBear Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Day 78 All Of You Are Doing Great!! Chins Up! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 End of day 2 and feeling very low. It will be hard at first becasue you don't actually realise what you are doing with NC but you will get used to it. I don't even check my phone much anymore and the urges to contact him are becoming less frequent. Stick with it x Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 ok I made it through the entire work day. Man I bet she is going crazy wondering why I didn't write her today! It feels great to be in control! I am such a great guy she has to be thinking about all the girls that will be pursuing me! Link to comment
theredrocket Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 ok I feeling really weak and just wrote a text message but deleted at the last instant because I was worried she would not respond. My doubt is coming because of our last exchange friday night/saturday. I had plans with her roommate who I am friends with as well, and I sent her a message telling her that if she didn't have plans she should come along. She wrote me "sounds like fun I'm going to an Indian dinner ' show tonight" I didn't reply but now I feel like I should have written something like about wishing her a great time etc and that is seems immature of me not to have. am I being crazy here? I'm going to take a shower and think this out Link to comment
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