bronte Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 About to turn off the computer so as to remove myself from temptation for the rest of the night...So, checking off day #4. I actually feel like I'm *more* miserable today than I was on Day #1. Let's hope it's a case where things have to get worse temporarily so they can get better later on! Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Bronte - i too have been experiencing the ups and downs... yesterday sucked for me but today was so much better. Stay with it, be strong - take it a day at a time. Good luck! Rae - just keep trying to stay busy... maybe you could stay a day or two with some friends? My best nights came when I kept myself busy and active during the day so that when i did get home i was so tired i fell asleep right away. End of the night for me... Day 13 tomorrow. Hope everyone has a better day! Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 RaeKarma welcome to the challenge. you are a local LBC friend. i wish you luck in your days. i can remember the first few days as iff they were yesterday! :splat: Link to comment
lexion Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 i've been talking to alot of people lately and i do feel that talking helps i feel better after talking Link to comment
SamT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 day 7 is it really day 7??!! hmm so many people have began to tell me i deserve better,... they must be somewhat right.. i wish i could just see the light, see that there are better girls out there..not to be in a relationship...but just so i could see Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "just keep trying to stay busy... My best nights came when I kept myself busy and active during the day so that when i did get home i was so tired i fell asleep right away. " this is a good idea!! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I think i am on day 10. WOW, talk about going up and down on roller coasters for the time being. I'm extremely depressed at the moment but that is life. I hope that everyone is going through there NC and break ups ok and none of us have consequential relapses. I hope everyone is doing well today as i will try to make this day a positive one. Good luck everyone!! Link to comment
Tinnes Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 He wrote last night, to tell me about his surgery. I was expecting his message. He wrote me even today. But I was not in mood for exchanging messages with him. He acts as his is something special, and something I cannot resist. That makes me see that every thought I spend on him is waste of time. It gives me energy to continue with my life without him, without regreting. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 He wrote last night, to tell me about his surgery. I was expecting his message. He wrote me even today. But I was not in mood for exchanging messages with him. He acts as his is something special, and something I cannot resist. That makes me see that every thought I spend on him is waste of time. It gives me energy to continue with my life without him, without regreting. Tinnes I know the feeling....I am expecting my ex to text today about his interview for a course he wants to do.. Its nice to know I am useful for support..Take your time in replying. I have been contemplating whether to reply at all because even if I do . Its not going to make him think " hey , let me call her up and be back together again" He will be very displeased if I dont reply...but then again I have been displeased for nearly 5 months....sigh.. Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 AngryHeart Broke NC did you...... LOL - of course I'm not mad. Because she followed it up with some real consideration. I would absolutely try LC if you think you can do it without hurting yourself. That excahange you had was good and the level is where it should be. Maybe try another this weekend? Give it time and see how you are feeling between now and then - if you have a lot of anxiety, then just consider a month is not a long time. It's not weird to just say "hi" after a month. He he, thanks. I'm gonna try the LC route. See where it goes. If I end up just feeling hurt again, I walk away again. But I just feel this is the way to go for now. At the moment I feel OK about it. I got a polite and happy response, he didn't have to reply at all. I know it doesn't mean he wants me back by any means, but I'm happy to chat a little for now. Eventhough I really miss him, I have come to a point in my life where things are getting better, with or without him! I have realised I don't need him or anybody else to make me happy. It's just that I want to share my life with him. But I have more things in my life right now, that are important. Back in touch with old and new friends, aiming to get a job, etc. I have taken this break up and finially made the most of it! So eventhough I do want him back, I'm not banking on it, I'm not exactly waiting for it, and I have other things in my life to help make me happy. I don't think LC is gonna hurt at this point. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I have strooong urges to make contact.. i feel like if i make some action, im giving her a tougher time in walking away with this guy? whereas now im lying down, letting her do it? i dont want to play games, i do want to chitchat, but since we argued i wonder if shes having an easier time with this.. But if she isnt id rather just keep NC going, because as time goes by she might want to contact me? I wonder if ive given it enough time... or maybe have i given it too much time, its too late? Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 LOL - I really don't see how a month is so long Sam - it's like you are expecting something to happen at light speed. I'm telling you - learn from what Getmeback went through - give NC a chance - THEN decide..... Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Sam, why did you break up? How much NC have you had, etc.? Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 LOL - I really don't see how a month is so long Sam - it's like you are expecting something to happen at light speed. I'm telling you - learn from what Getmeback went through - give a NC a chance - THEN decide..... Hey, honey, you seem quite clued up on these things Do you have any advice on LC? Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Angryheart - when one has the intention that YOU have - to keep busy with your own life and still contact on a minimal basis, not increase it despite good feedback - you should be fine. Being conscious that you can't let your world revolve around them is key. Forcing yourself to keep activities as a daily routine is necessary too. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Arghh its only been 7 days i know i knooow. but isnt this all making it easier for her to move on? maybe with a lil LC now and again itll at least slow things down? :S i do believe in NC... but is this all healthy? Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I don't know if NC is healthy or not. I'm choosing LC because I know the man I was involved with - and I know that if I just cut him out, he'd retreat even further. It wouldn't matter what was in his heart. Maybe I'm too soft - don't know and I don't care. I know he can only hurt me if I choose to let him. Being in LC with him doesn't hurt me at the moment. If or when it does, then it stops. My choice. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Hmm yeah thats kindof what im getting at Mock Chop? I dont knoow. sometimes i dont even want her back, i just want the company but to be honest, im worried about being hurt again. p.s. mockchop ive only just seen your avatar, haha funny.x Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Mock Chop is right - it depends on the person/situation. There is also a distinction between keeping in touch in a non-confrontational way and keeping in touch to try and get back together. Basically, I feel some people have better impulse control than others. Some need practice in calming down, creating a fuller life and having less expectation. Others don't but still need an outlet and support if things start going downhill. NC is always a choice, but ultimately good for you and very few people do not benefit from it. It's ALWAYS good to stick to a commitment you made with yourself. Link to comment
DuRuffio Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Day 22 Things are going okay - taking a trip this weekend, and really busy with school. I miss her a lot, but I really hope she's happy and enjoying herself without me. It was a long-distance relationship, so I think that might make it a little easier for her (and maybe for me) to "move on". I keep thinking about what I'm going to say the day she finally tries to reestablish contact (it was a mutually imposed 1-month NC period). I think I'm going to tell her that being "just friends" wouldn't be okay with me, but I'll wish her happiness and success. I'm still really hopeful that we'll eventually get back together, but I realize that even if the willingness was there on both sides it would still take an enormous amount of work. Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Day 22 Things are going okay - taking a trip this weekend, and really busy with school. I miss her a lot, but I really hope she's happy and enjoying herself without me. It was a long-distance relationship, so I think that might make it a little easier for her (and maybe for me) to "move on". I keep thinking about what I'm going to say the day she finally tries to reestablish contact (it was a mutually imposed 1-month NC period). I think I'm going to tell her that being "just friends" wouldn't be okay with me, but I'll wish her happiness and success. I'm still really hopeful that we'll eventually get back together, but I realize that even if the willingness was there on both sides it would still take an enormous amount of work. DuRuffio... I've been thinking about what to say to my ex as well when she calls - which like you I know when that time will be. We also had a long distance relationship and a 3 week mutual NC period. I've also decided that I can't just be friends with her until she's ready to give us a shot if ever. I do want to be friends with her ultimately... just not right now or probably anytime in the near future. It just hurts too much to not have her as a girlfriend. I hope she takes this time to do what she wanted to do and become an independent confident person. In the mean time, I gotta do the same - be ok with me and me alone. When we do get another shot we'll both be stronger, happier, and know what we want in a relationship and of eachother. Just keep on taking it one day at a time... you can get through today, and tomorrow will be just the next stepping stone on your way to being back to who you were. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Day 100.....Magic number?Anyhow I have no idea what she's up to but NC has shown me one more thing...I'm expendable to her.....sigh. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I just dooont know what to do... shes out tonight i think, she'll probally meet this guy in the club. she might still love me, but this new and exciting thing has probally taken away any thoughts of me... gutted. Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Sam, to be honest I sometimes wonder if staying in LC, and kinda "weening" yourself off the ex, is infact easier than going strict NC. I seem to find it is in a way. That's usually what the dumpers do with the dumpees. They take time, slowly let go off dumpees. Maybe that is what we need to do sometimes, to let go off them. And maybe then there's still the chance of getting back...if that makes sense? Alssoo, I think in some situations, treating it like you've not even been together before, but they are just someone you like a lot and trying to persue. Obviously this one is hard because of the hurt, anger, etc. involved. But I do think in some cases this could also work. Look at it as a clean slate, leaving the past in the past, and treating it as something new. Make sense? I dunno, maybe I'm talking rubbish, but I'm just looking at the whole NC/LC thing at a new angle. In a way I feel happier when in LC than NC.... Link to comment
SamT Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 hmm i can kind of see where youa are coming from. but to be honest, i dont want to give in to what she wanted, and make it easier for her to fade me away. that is unless NC is going easy for her.. i think ill just carry on for a while, i dont think im ready to talk to her anyway. im just wondering if this is healthy.. i just dont feel right. its like an illness.. i mean is this making the relationship/frienship better? or is it just diminishing it... Link to comment
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