lexion Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 day 1 again i broke nc today, please don't yell at me i told her everything i've learned after we broke up what i think about this week i emailed her and she replied she said that the person that she love,loves her to and they decided to start a relationship yesterday knowing this i feel devastated, yet relieved as if i don't need to wonder about whether she'll take me back or anything i keep re-reading her email, my heart is at peace right now i'm not happy or sad, just.... calm. gentle calm, as if the storm has gone well, i guess all hope has gone for me, at least for 1 or 2 years Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 ah that sucks lexion.. at least you know she wasnt right for you now? im having a really bad morning..didnt even want to get up... it hurts me that shes moved on..flirting with another guy..seeing that..killed me inside. Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Someone on another forum I visit (entirely unrelated to break ups etc!) posted these lyrics and they struck a chord with me. I'm adopting it as my theme tune for March (and maybe April, May and June lol). In Repair - John Mayer Too many shadows in my room Too many hours in this midnight Too many corners in my mind So much to do to set my heart right Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong I could be ready Oh but if I take my heart's advice I should assume, it's still unsteady I am in repair I am in repair Stood on the corner for awhile To wait for the wind to blow down on me Hoping it takes with it my old ways And brings some brand new luck upon me Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong I could be ready Oh but if I take my heart's advice I should assume, it's still unsteady 'Cause I am in repair I am in repair And now I'm walking in the park And all of the birds they dance below me And maybe when things turn green again You can tell your friends it's good to know me Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong I could be ready Oh but if I take my heart's advice I should assume, it's still unsteady Never really ready I'm never really ready I'm in repair I'm not together But I'm getting there I'm in repair I'm not together But I'm getting there Link to comment
lexion Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 ah that sucks lexion.. at least you know she wasnt right for you now? im having a really bad morning..didnt even want to get up... it hurts me that shes moved on..flirting with another guy..seeing that..killed me inside. she was perfect in every way possible, all that's left for me is regret Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 i feel the same :S i find myself finding ways to apologise for her recent hurtful actions. i dont feel as if i can let go. and all the energy in preserving for her is just building up inside me, and i have no release. i want to email her again...explaining things... she must still care about me..i hope.. and i just hate this feeling of hatred between us.. sometimes if i look at this logically...i could lt go easier if i was in a neutral position.. + posotive = hoping/flirting and trying to get back with her, and shes leading me on 0 neutral = no hatred towards the past, knowing she still cares for me, but both of us being alone right now - negative = her not wanting to be friends or anything with me on the other side completely devastated and wondering if i should be hating her for those angry words Link to comment
lexion Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 i need answer,please can you call a 1 year crush, a rebound? during the last year of our relationship, she fall for this guy, that i think, she meet quite often, she never said anything to me, then after her love for me is gone, she dumped me, but she doesn't start a relationship with him right away answer this please Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 hmm im not really sure mate..im not exactly an expert at this stuff myself.. maybe because she didnt start a relationship with him straight away shows that she obv still needed you, and that you meant a lot.. now that your not there..she'll see how much you did for her..especially when this fling starts to deteriorate. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 now that your not there..she'll see how much you did for her..especially when this fling starts to deteriorate. yes, but she start falling in love for him a year ago, she's been hiding it from me is it really a fling?is there any chance they can work this out? is it a rebound relationship? Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 hiding it from you..or incapable of making a decision as to which man? you know you meant something to her because she couldnt jump straight in. its cruel yes..but now your free for yourself. it could be a rebound.. but you know thats a problem shes going to have to deal with..especially in the future when she hasnt learnt or dealt with the situation properly. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 if it's a rebound, then there's a chance that she may come back to me right? Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 i guess so? but you have to make sure you dont count on that man. i feel the same as you right now.. i have no idea what shes thinking. but dont use this time to dwell on her...shes (probally) not dwelling on you..so use the energy your preserving for her on yourself. Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Lex - It sucks when the the "perfect" one for us leaves us and goes to someone else. It's just to bad that we're not the right one for them. I think it takes time to heal and get over the person we loved so much. I can tell you this lex, it's not bad that you want closure but you have to realize that NC is about working on you. I know it's hard and you really want to be back with her - but realize she left you for someone else. That her feelings probably aren't the same whether it's a rebound or not. Try to take your mind off of her and start working on you. Stay strong and i hope everything goes well. Sam - Hang in there. I know it ripped your heart out and you feel like she stomped it to bits but you not want someone like that. You want someone better who will love you for you and nothing else. For you also, please give it time. I know it hurts a lot now but realize that the right one is out there for the two of you. Stay strong and positive, both of you are great people. Eventually both of you will find the right one. 1 Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Cheers gizmo! needed that..i wonder wether i should be glad that ive noticed - in some ways- that im better than her? or am i just being arrogant lol Link to comment
lexion Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 day 1 now its more painfull than before i can't let her go yet, i still love her, but now she's with someone else and everything will not be the same Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 how you doing now buddy? im not doing amazingly... im trying to envision someone else in my life... better and more perfect... not sure if ill ever meet her though! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 how you doing now buddy? im not doing amazingly... im trying to envision someone else in my life... better and more perfect... not sure if ill ever meet her though! it does sound like a good idea this makes you feel better sam? i'm gonna try this Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 it does slightly, because ive come to realise there were some things i wanted from her ..but im not sure she could give me. im still wondering wether im just being to picky about all the things im expecting from a better girl... it could happen.. and that would be the best thing in the world.. im just not certain if she exists! (which depresses me a bit) i wonder wether ive set way too high standards for my next relationship already.. hmm But, yeah it does make feel better mate, knowing there must be a better person out there Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 "i wonder wether ive set way too high standards for my next relationship already.. hmm" I wonder too......... Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 day 21 NC really miss him today. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 "i wonder wether ive set way too high standards for my next relationship already.. hmm" I wonder too......... you think i have? i have a list in my head of qualities that id love for her have..and certain hobbies How are you feeling Monique?x Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Hey sam I am feeling crap today. I am using every bit of strength to not contact him. Its an awful feeling... Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Fox - I'm glad that helped - how are you doing with NC by the way? OOOOOOOH GETMEBACK day 21 - what are you doing this weekend, girl? hmm....lexion - I can't yell at you - you found clarity and resolution - be ready for some more release of pain and loss, but don't go looking for it. gee - I think I'm more excited about your trip to China than you are! LOL Will you be able to keep in touch with us while you're out there? It"s the weekend everyone - remember the exercises your support group members suggested - a list of the good and bad qualities of your ex to gain objectivity, write an email you're never going to send and get out and do some NEW activities instead of : ". Prior to taking up something new, I would sit in front of the TV and brood, turning things over and over in my head" - Mock Chop Take the cues from your peers - do what the the succsessful ones are doing. Consider please, that you don't have to be in a good mood to go out and see a show (Try and see DuRuffio's suggested movie, "definitely Maybe" if it's playing in your area - take a chance and see another point of view) see a sporting event, see a new shop - whatever. Think of your interests - but see a NEW place - start a NEW life. Just start it and learn a new habit of doing things for yourself. Join reality which includes new faces, new sights and sounds. Stop wallowing or trying to rid yourself of bad feelings before doing stuff - just do stuff and accept you migt be feeling "lost" or "numb" while eating that new curry or watching that hilarious new comedy. Just practice for now. If we could make it through last week - we can get through this weekend. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Sam - I think you should certainly think of qualities you want in a person - just be ready to give those things as well - if we want something from someone, we have to be willing to give it first.... Help out those in need today - this one from Angryheart - your NC supporter - . Valid fears - offer your point of view. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Hey sam I am feeling crap today. I am using every bit of strength to not contact him. Its an awful feeling... Aww youll get through it. I was feeling really lost and depressed this morning...im also gutted she mightve moved on...and am trying to find ways of dealing with it. you sound like a great person Monique its probally his loss really. Think about how much of a good person YOU are not HIM. honey - i will give and receive the same qualities..i promise lol. do you think its silly of me to think in this way? like theres someone else out there? i feel i might be being a tad too picky, and possibly might drag me into deeper despair..when i dont find anyone lol.. is it healthy? Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I believe that you are too picky - but by rediscovering yourself, this will fade as time goes by. You are reacting still to the break-up. Just be you and let NC do it's job. Another great suggestion in this post: Link to comment
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