Confusedashellmyself Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I hear you there, I went total then blew it. Beating myself up today over it.Believe me it will not happen again. Link to comment
Confusedashellmyself Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 strange thing we were in contact till I read all this advice to go nc Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Question for SuperDave and Others, What makes 30 days the target? Past experience from others shows this is good amount of time for the ex to either miss you or for you to have moved on? What about after 30 days? If you still really miss ex after 30 days, can you reach out to them to see how they are and if they miss you to see if there is any chance at reconcillation? Or does this only push them away farther if they are the one who initiated the break-up? thanks for your response! Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I'm finding it REALLLLLLLLY hard today. I want to pour my heart out to him so bad. But I left a email with him which I am proud of, I think I looked the better person, so I have to try my hardest not to mess this up. I miss him and love him so much more than he obviously ever knew, or cared. And to think he's apparently seeing someone else. The pain! Want my baby back! Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 AngryHeart, I completely understand & share the sentiments over here. Link to comment
GoldFox3840 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I still don't know what people are expecting to hear when the dumper contacts them. Most of you here say that if they are calling to say hi you wouldn't answer because you're waiting for them to admit they want you back. I dunno, I think if I were the dumper wanting to reconcile I would call to say hi to test the waters and see if everything was okay before professing my desire to be back with them. Also, it seems like reconciliation would work better if taken slowly, rediscovering each other and rebuilding the trust, not just jumping right back into things. So maybe the dumper doesn't want to be too forward because they know the risk of moving too quickly. So, what are you as the dumpee looking for the dumper to do if they are really sincere about getting back together? I'm probably just scared that my ex might call to see if everything was fine first, and that if I never responded she would decide I had moved on and don't want her in my life, so she'd respect that decision and leave me alone. Does that make any sense? Link to comment
foreverlost Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 going on day 11... I am going crazy right now. am not able to stop fantasizing about him. I want to call him... and tell him to come over. we were a very sexual couple and the sex was amazing. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 make the urge stop!! ahh!! Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 If my ex called to say hello i would be fine with that. It would mean he was thinking about me and missed some form of contact and either wanted to establish friendship or something more. Of course, if he called and professed his undying love for me that would be okay too. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 we broke up exaclty 1 month ago today. His birthday is on valentines day GRR my cupid i called him. BUT i'm going to shock him and not even tell him happy birthday...that might be like WOW she didn't make up an excuse to talk to me what happened Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I'm dying to know if my ex misses me. Why can't i just be content and accept his decision. How was i so disillussioned in thinking the future was strong between us? Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Sara, It's so easy to drive yourself nuts thinking that, but all it will do is stress you out. I used to do that all the time, wondering this about her, wondering if she's that. Focus on you, and you alone. You can't control how they'll feel, but you can control how you feel. TSD, on day 2 of a lifetime of NC.... Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Hi See tomorrow will be Day 7NC for me. I went into NC completely unannouced. I have been reading a lot of threads on here today as I have had a rough time today. Each painful hour that goes by, gets harder but its also comforting in a strange way. I think to myself each hour that goes by he is choosing to be without me, he is choosing to not have me in my life. I am also refusing to wonder is he is missing me or thinking about me e.t.c Because if that was the case he would be with me. Also, the longer it goes I dont like the thought that someone would risk losing me as I do deserved to be loved and all I gave to him was love. To all who are thinking of responding to any of the Ex's contacts. DONT BOTHER. I have done it so many times before and I ended up feeling like s***. He has tried to contact me on 2 different occasions as I was suicida last sunday. But actions speak louder than words. He only thinks about himself and in his voicemail he said that " I dont even need to call him and have a conversation with him on the phone, I just need to text him and let him know I am ok" I dont think so! I am not OK!. One thing I have started telling myself is to stop putting this person on a pedastool. Anyone that rejects our love is not " wonderful ". Letting go is a gradual process but I think the longer we hold onto MR/MRS WRONG the longer it will take for MR/MRS RIGHT to come into our lives. Well thats my two cents worth for today. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Nice one GetMeBack! You've gotten so much stronger! Day 20 for myself. Not easy as usual, but easier than when I first started out. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Jadewhisper, you will do better in time. Link to comment
MNmike Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Day 42 I still miss her, and think about her a lot. I also was thinking why I think about a person so much when we last spoke she said, "I am seeing someone else and I am happier than when I was with you" thats harsh, and just plain hurtful. Even if this were true for me I would never tell someone that. Especially someone I had been with for five years. Why I ask? She was always so sweet and kind and happy. She never said a hurtful thing to me. We had a couple arguments in our time, but nothing was EVER said that came remotely close to that. From me or her. I feel like the person I was with has been replaced by someone I never met. It really is a sad thing to experience. Link to comment
rjm0827 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Day 0 I went for 6 days? I think that's right. Then we talked and it's all friendly again.... We hang out, she calls, I call, we kiss, but it still just seems too friendly. That's not what I want. Sooo I know I have to talk to her tomorrow and chances are tomorrow night. Starting Sunday I'm going to try and start NC again. I want to go atleast 2 weeks. Not sure if it's possible though. Link to comment
MNmike Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Day 0 I went for 6 days? I think that's right. Then we talked and it's all friendly again.... We hang out, she calls, I call, we kiss, but it still just seems too friendly. That's not what I want. Sooo I know I have to talk to her tomorrow and chances are tomorrow night. Starting Sunday I'm going to try and start NC again. I want to go atleast 2 weeks. Not sure if it's possible though. Of course its possible, look at my last post. I was with this girl for 5 years, and I've gone over 40 DAYS! I think you can do a measly 14 days. You have a pair between your legs, don't you? Use em! Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Day 7 today, I had a dream about him last night and I think I was talking to him in my sleep too because when I woke up I thought it really happened and I was confused. I feel like s*** today. I just miss him ever so much.. Link to comment
toughtimes15 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Day 8 with NC. This is not easy! I'm starting to get scared that I'm just a distant memory. Hope not! Link to comment
GoldFox3840 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I want to go atleast 2 weeks. Not sure if it's possible though. It is possible. One day at a time. We can all do it. I'm on Day 18 and haven't felt the urge to call at all. I know that if she doesn't call me then it's not worth it. Maybe someday I will call her because she was always special to me, and I don't want her completely out of my life forever, but for now I know that time and space to grow is good for the both of us. Link to comment
twinkle72 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I guess it's only day 3 of total NC. Why does it feel like a freaking eternity? I hope he decides that he wants me back and comes back to me... if not this just seems like it was all for nothing. Link to comment
deleted-account Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 So I almost contacted my ex today. She's been on my mind all morning and I want to see if anything has changed in the past month. I hate that I can always find a way to convince myself that it's ok to contact her. I tell myself worst case she denies me again and it gives me the strength to go NC for another month or so. I won't do it though. I need to move on and contacting her won't help at this point. Grrrrrrrrr Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Day 21 here! Yesterday, or maybe the night before, my ex contacted my sister on MSN. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 11 days... I don't understand this... he promisedme that he wouldn't put me on block on msn so things can at least be civil between us if we bump into each other... but all of a sudden he put me on block. I don't get it... and want to ask him why. Link to comment
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