Ok...opinions, please?

[Parsley]

Hey...

Ok. Well. My boyfriend broke up with me last week. The week before we slept together. I'm on the pill so we didn't use a condom. I had changed a week before to a lower dose pill because the old one was giving me really really bad moods.

 

I noticed that I had a little bit of spotting a few days after we slept together, but just put it down to the fact that the pill was a lower dose and I was thereforeeee more likely to have a bit of breakthrough. Also discharge was getting thicker than before. It carried on, but I thought nothing of it.

 

Then he broke up with me.

 

After that I noticed more spotting, a vague sense of nausea and pain in my abdomen, like period pain, but this time attributed it all to the shock my body had just had from the break up. I mentioned earlier this evening to my mum when she noticed me rubbing my abdomen that I had some pain like period pain, and she asked where I was regarding the pill. I told her that I had one more to take, and she said that my body didn't know that so I shouldn't be having pain.

 

So now I would really like some opinions on whether these things are just as a result of changing the pill and then the sudden upheaval in my life, or something else that would be really really bad right now. My mum doesn't know that I slept with my boyfriend...she only found out I was with him when I was sobbing my heart out on my sister's shoulder after he broke up with me.

[Axel3sRoxas]

When having any changes in the birth control pill, you are supposed to wait a month before having unprotected sex. Perhaps its best to face up to the worst here, and go an buy yourself a home pregnancy test... The pains could just be due to a changing in the pill, but put your mind at ease and buy a test. Good luck sweetie.

[daredevil]

I know this is a stupid question, but if you wanted a serious relationship why didn't your mom knwo about this guy?

[Parsley]

My mum has always been a difficult one to talk to about guys and stuff. This time it was particularly difficult, as he was 6 years older than me - the same age as my sister and even a little older than my brother in law. We got together a little while before I left for university, and when I consulted my sister, we thought it best to wait and see how the relationship dealt with the distance before telling mum - it could have been a lot of bother for nothing. I intended to introduce him to the family this Christmas, but it got delayed a little by some personl problems with him, and then it was over.

[daredevil]

Okay then I understand, thanks for explaining, I would suggest the birth control thing too.

[Dilly]

Like Axel said, take the test when you can, usually 1-2 days after missed period. The experiences you describe could have been due to a change of the pill, which usually requires a reliable back up method (condom, etc) for the first month, stress (breakups and seasonal blues are common this time of year), and early pregnancy. Don't flip out, just take the test? When is your period due?

[Parsley]

Well I took my last pill tonight, so probably about thursday or friday? My best friend is coming to mine tomorrow so we can go and get a test. I'd rather do it as soon as I can - I won't be able to rest until I know for certain - though I'm guessing the chances are if I am, I won't rest much then either.

[Dilly]

What cycle length do you normally have? Are you clockwork? Do you know what day you had sex and when your last period started? Do you know what day you are due for your period. Usually, if you have a 28 day cycle, you are vulnerable to conceive from days 11- 20, but usually around 14 days after the first day of your last menstrual period. Everything you are describing could be due to any of the three issues you are identifying: 1) stress 2) pregnancy 3) change of pill.

[Parsley]

The thing is I don't know anything about my cycle. The reason I went on the pill was because I had extremely irregular periods and couldn't predict a thing about them. I had one period with my old pill, but then changed the type and had to go straight from one pack to the other, so I didn't have a period last month. Last time I had sex was...20th/21st December.

[arwen]

Ok, well I think all you can do know is get a test and wait for the results. To be sure, buy two tests. If things would be inconclusive (they rarely are), get a bloodtest. And for the next time, always use condoms if you are switching pills. Where you and your ex both tested for STI's? Because some STI's can cause lower abdominal pain (like chlamydia).

 

Ilse

[Dilly]

Agree with Ilse... since your periods are so irregular too, hopefully you are not pregnanct and perhaps these are merely symptoms of how vulnerable you are to hormonal change (pill). Hoping your not and if you are, that you will start prenatals asap and make a decisive move.

[Parsley]

I've taken two tests, both are negative. I've not known relief like it! We were both tested recently, so that's all good. I may not like my ex as a person much anymore - but I know for a fact he wouldn't cheat on me. Just one of those things you can be sure about. I guess everything I'm getting is down to the stress of the breakup. Things between us weren't great before we broke up, maybe just my body telling me something I refused to believe when my thoughts told me!

 

Thank you all so much for your help - it really helped me to put things in perspective and not panic so much about it.

[Dilly]

CONGRATS! Now, make sure the next little lovemaking session involves protection from STD's and unwanted pregnancy! GOOD LUCK!

[Parsley]

Sure will. I'm pretty sure the next little session won't be for a very long time though. I intend to give all guys a wide berth for a long time, possibly until I'm back at uni in October.

x

[arwen]

I've taken two tests, both are negative. I've not known relief like it! We were both tested recently, so that's all good. I may not like my ex as a person much anymore - but I know for a fact he wouldn't cheat on me. Just one of those things you can be sure about. I guess everything I'm getting is down to the stress of the breakup. Things between us weren't great before we broke up, maybe just my body telling me something I refused to believe when my thoughts told me!

 

Thank you all so much for your help - it really helped me to put things in perspective and not panic so much about it.

 

Oh I KNOW!!! That kind of relief is beyond description, isn't it?

 

I am also glad to hear that you were both tested. And you are right, trust comes from the gut I think, so no worries. Get tested before you get rid of the condom with a next partner, that is JUST for the 101% you want to know for that kind of thing.

 

Arwen (ilse)