My first love...

[hawaiiansun]

Alright so im new here, I just need to talk and get some advice about this kinda problem I am having. So im 18 years old and have been with my girlfriend for a few months now I know its such a short time, but my past has been difficult with girls...Right now its weird to deal with these feelings I have, like I would do anything for her, and I want to be with her 24/7.

 

The problem is I get kind of irritated sometimes because she lives with her friend, and her friend is bisexual. I'm hoping she isn't corrupting my girlfriend, and I just dont know why I think of my girlfriend 24/7. I do other things to keep her off my mind, but I keep thinking about how my girlfriend is having fun with her friend and i'm not. Sometimes on the phone it gets frustrating because I want to talk to her, but she always has something to say to her friend, I dont know if this is stupid to feel, but I just needed to get it out and see what you guys think.

[Maverick32x]

hmm... Well is there any reason you would not trust her if thats the issue? It seems like you are really into her, and aren't feeling a 100% return of those feelings.....

I guess my advice would be to really realize that she has a life without you that she needs to take care of.... personally I would hate if a girlfriend of mine completely relied on me and never wanted to hang out with her friends and just obsessed over me......

 

what do you get frustrated over? that she is not giving you enough attention? Or is it that you don't feel like she cares about you?

[hawaiiansun]

Im frustrated that I'm not getting attention =/ I know its such a bad feeling to have and believe me I do try to ignore it but its hard, considering she is my first real girlfriend and my first love. Yes I am into her like no other, I always imagined what kinds of things I would to for my future girlfriends and I always do little sweet things because thats the kind of guy I am. I wish those things were reciprocated you know? I dont know if I should confront her about it or continue to ignore it. And yes I do trust her a lot, I know she loves me and trust pretty much isnt an issue, we tell each other everything.. I guess that her friend is Bi kinda weirds me out.

[Maverick32x]

hmm.. its a pretty touchy situation.... I've never had experience with that so I don't want to step outside my experiences. sorry ;;

 

Personally I would try to change my frame of mind, since it is something that won't help your relationship at all~ (Easier said than done I know ;; )

[hawaiiansun]

Its cool, thanks for helping me man.

[Northalius]

we tell each other everything..

 

Then tell her what you just wrote to us in this forum. Explain to her about how you feel! Communication is key, keep it going! Don't stop now.

 

I'm sure you can work something out, and she'll most likely appreciate you wanting to share your feelings with her!

[hawaiiansun]

I just dont know how to tell her though, or what to tell her...should I just read what I wrote on here? ha ha...

[Northalius]

Well, it's probably best you do it face to face, one on one; tell her everything you wrote in your first post, basically. Yeah. Do it in a nice way, of course. When you're both in a good mood, maybe after you've talked about something else, just stop and say something like "Hey, there's an issue that has come up with me, and I'd like to share it with you, if you'd not mind?" I'm sure she'll be all ears.

 

She deserves to know the truth about how you feel, right? Just as you deserve to know how she feels about you! It's what a relationship is all about -> relating to one another.

 

Never ignore feelings you have for her, or about a situation dealing with her. Always come clean about them. This is the foundation of a very healthy relationship: totally open communcation, no matter how insignificant you may think it is, every single detail counts, and truly adds up over time. It'll mold your relationship like tiny drops of water molding rocks over time. When you look at each drop in and of itself, they seem so small to make no difference, but the big picture tells a whole different story.

[hawaiiansun]

Man those are some nice words to hear, thanks I appreciate it. I just hope I don't screw anything up between us, because how would she react to me saying this, it will make me feel bettter to get it off my chest, but the things are still going to be happening, so yeah, I'm one confused guy.

[Northalius]

How she reacts is up to her! It should be none of your concern, whatsoever; if she goes crazy about mere feelings you have about a situation like this, then this'll be a great learning lesson for you about who she really is.

 

And that is what you want to know: the real person, not just a 'masked face' she hides behind; someone that picks and chooses what they reveal to you, leaving you wondering your whole life. Bleh!

 

If it was a negative secret she held within: You'd probably be sad in seeing something you could've helped her work out through the both of you, and become closer all-the-more through a trial, and maybe even an error here and there. 'Trials and Tribulations' are where we grow most, after all! Gold is refined only when it has gone through the fire.

 

This is why it's good for you to come clean to her, straight out. So, this is where respect for her and yourself comes in!

 

Never be scared of how someone will react to your true emotions about a subject! Because if they don't know your true emotions, yet say they love you, then they don't actually love you for you, but only what you show them!

 

Don't be scared to tell her.