My Husband Wants Sex Please Help

[justasking]

Well i try all of that foreplay and the finger thing. And i dont drink so what should i do. nothing works i try to look away when he enters me. but i end up stoping him we talk about it he said he want do anything to try and hurt me and i know that and i love him very much and he love's me but he's getting upset with me we went on our honeymoon and it was great we had fun but we are home now and have been for two weeks but have been married for 4 weeks he's 25 and im 22 and his penis is 11inc IM NOT PLAYING HERE...he has had sex before when he was younger around 18 19 he stop cause he wanted to wait for marriage what should i do

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone. has he tried to penetrate you? did it hurt? have you guys used lubrication? Remember, the female body is designed to carry a baby, so you can have sex, even if he is large, but you may have to experiment before you find what is comfortable for you. does it hurt when you try to have sex?

[doyathink]

Hi justasking,

Are you the one who posted this last night?

 

[justasking]

yes i posted it on my friends page and someone told me to get one for my self but any way it dose hurt when he put the tip in i just have to stop him cause i cant take the pain im so scared we have tired everything

[annie24]

it is possible you may have vaginismus, a condition in which your PC muscles are contracting involuntarily. link removed check out the page, see if you may have it.

 

you should go to your doctor and talk to her about it. You may want to get a checkup to make sure that it is ok.

 

the reason he may not be able to get it in is because you are so scared, you squeeze your muscles and don't let him in. you may have to work at relaxation, to learn how to release those muscles, so it doesn't hurt when he tries to penetrate.

 

go to the website and read more about it.

[justasking]

its not that he cant but i just wont let him im to scaried to it hurts but thats cause i never done it before. how long do you think he will let this go on

[annie24]

do you want to have sex with him?

[justasking]

yes i do but i can go with out and from when i frist seen his penis i really got scaried i just want to please him he dose oral and that tures him on amd he want to have sex but i always chicken out and get upset and he try's to make me feel better but i feel bad cause i want him to be happy

[Broken_Doll_ParTs]

Did you know a vigina is very flexiable? It opens up to accommodate with a natual birth. A penis is no problem, no matter how big, actually, the length doesnt really matter, it has nothing to do with it. Just make sure you have enough lube and go for it. Theres nothing to be scared of, its not a big deal you know.

[doyathink]

Usually it will only hurt the first couple of times...and it's tolerable, really. It will be over before you know it...then, you will start to enjoy it.

[MacGyverRI]

I'm not 11" but sometimes have this same problem due to thickness w/ women who have never had children.

 

Foreplay is essential!

 

He needs to put it in a little (1-2"and then don't move and you will get stretched a bit and be somewhat more comfortable, (constant kissing while this is going on helps a lot) he will feel you stretch a bit then push just a little more and stop again. after 4" or so you will be at that same level no matter how much more he puts inside. You will get used to it after a few times.

[Budman]

Ok, uhm trying to avoid penis envy here.

 

During sex grab hold of him and let him in slowly or ask him to go gently.

 

Quite honestly an addendum

 

If my wife wouldn't give me sex, there would be huge issues.

[candy604]

maybe you should go get some consuelling so someone can help you out with your fears of sex.

[someguy1976]

I don't fear that she has fears of sex, I think that she fears the pain of an 11 inch coming her way. Your husband sounds like he is very compasionate and understanding, but believe me he won't be for long. If it's just the size, you need to push "out" like you're giving birth, but not to hard or you'll hurt yourself, and push "out" as he is pushing in, and use extra lube. Have him "eat you out" or something to get your juices flowing, and that will help.

[heartbaby14]

If you have never had sex before, no wonder it feels painful. I know that my first time was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but after the first couple of times it got better, and it was definitely worth it. As some others have mentioned, lube is your friend, and make sure that you are getting worked up enough before hand. That's how I went through it the first time, in the heat of the moment, it just kind of happened. It hurt, but then it was over.

 

On an another note, being married to you does not entitle your husband to sex whenever he wants it. It is still your body, but not having sex, especially if it is only from fear, can definitely create a lot of tension in the relationship. I get sick a lot, so I know how tense my ex got when I was not willing. I would try hard to work through your fear. You might even try using sex toys. Maybe once your husband loosened you up a little with a vibrator things would go more smoothly? (Besides, they're fun. )

[J6hn]

Is he usually on top?

 

Perhaps you should go on top (If you're comfortable with that)

That way you can control the depth and how it feels. So you can change it yourself when it feels painful and not have to ask him to.

[whyisthatlegal]

Damn. It sucks that you don't drink! Um, I would just lay there and close your eyes and let him do everything. Your going crazy over this and sometimes it doesn't hurt. It didn't hurt for me it just felt really weird. When he pushes in, push out. Once it's in you won't be that scared. Just do it and get it over with and it will help a lot of your problems. Think of how many girls have gone through with it and are still alive to tell! I mean, if you can push a baby out of that I'm sure having sex can't be the worst. Also people do it for pleasure...You'll be fine.

[TiredMan]

Um, I would just lay there and close your eyes and let him do everything.

 

So many females do just this (lay there and close their eyes) and I can honestly say that they are the worst sex partners though many guys won't complain because bad sex is better than none at all.

 

Not a good suggestion EVER.

[J6hn]

No, that just turns her into a sex puppet.

How degrading.

Let her do it when she's comfortable and ready.

The first few times will be uncomfortable. That's un-avoidable.

But don't rush her into it.

[Rabican]

I say get smashed drunk, and grab a bottle of Astroglide Lube and go to town.

[whyisthatlegal]

tiredman and j6hn, I was just saying that she should get it over with. Apparently time isin't working because she's still freaking out. After the first time I'm sure she'd feel better about it...but yeah. Her husband is probably getting pretty frustrated and I'm sure any sex is sounding pretty damn good to him about now...though I don't know him that's just how I would feel if my husband was too scared to have sex.