Benson Posted January 1, 2007 Author Share Posted January 1, 2007 So in essense, there wasnt much of a 'relationship' going on.. When people are together I think that they should share the good and the bad... No one is a mind reader.... As someone said to me, its easier to run away from a problem than it is to stick it out and try to fix it. time and time again I fixed and helped, while my partner did nothing for us. Took me a long time to realize that a relationship should be both ways, with communication and respect.. you dont have communication it will fail, every single time. And our love for them blinds us from seeing that. Link to comment
Dizziblonde Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 How long were you together and how old were you both when you met? It may be possible that she came to resent the fact that she relied on you so much and she became independent of you when you werent looking? She may of had help? Whatever it is, if she has lasted 35 days (as well) without contacting you, then it is best to move on with your life(I know,easier said than done!) take it a step at a time but believe me if there was a chance she still cared would she not have contacted you by now to see how things are with you. Leaving without warning is quite a cowardly way out as she really should have sat you down and discussed it first. unless she was afraid to do that for some reason. Guilt maybe? What do you think? Link to comment
elithepi Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Leaving without warning is quite a cowardly way out as she really should have sat you down and discussed it first. unless she was afraid to do that for some reason. Guilt maybe? What do you think? Good question...it's what happened to me and that is what's bugging me now. Guilt? Guilt of what? Honesty? Another mate? Honesty again? Out of blue break up sucks. My mate is 33 years old and this was this first time I've EVER experienced "out of blue break up" and it's really screwed with me. Hang tough Benson Link to comment
Dizziblonde Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 I mean that sometimes a person may feel too guilty to talk if the reason they want to leave is that they have started seeing somebody else behind your back. The odd thing I feel is Benson's ex relied upon him a great deal and then suddenly nothing. I dont know these people but it all seems to be out of character. I mean people dont change overnight and if it was in her personality to lean quite heavily on another person, maybe she got someone new to rely on, and then went from needing B a lot to not at all. Either way I feel she treated Benson badly and he is doing a lot better than he gives himself credit for. All the best B, from Dizzi x. Link to comment
Benson Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 thank you very much guys. appreciate the kind words alot! Dizzi: I was 21 and she was 17. her first boyfriend and all that. first sexual partner ETC. We went through a hell of alot together (not between us but her family and stuff, her work etc) She should have sat me down, and explained the minute she had any doubts about us, as she promised me she'd do. Anything that was bothering her she swore to me shed come to me. For all intents and purposes, i truly believe theres no one else... I know every guy wants to think that but I really dont think there is, the way it ended, shes got i dunno how do you say it, no self worth i guess. this became so apparent when she left... I dont think she could handle being with someone... But it is possible... It is amazing how she as well has gone 38 days now without contact.. When I asked her after the break up why she didnt come to me and tell me she replied 'i didnt want to hurt your feelings'....'I should have done it months ago' (to me is all bs.. but whatever) I also asked her if there was anyone else and she said no..... truly I dont think there is.... I would be completely astounded, this girl couldnt handle a relationship at all (reflecting upon it now) I dont think she would have someone else... I think guilt played a major role here too. I dont think she thought she was good enough for me for some stupid reason, this girl i tell ya had very low self esteem, i thought I could help her with it and im sure I did. When i met her she was sooo shy she wouldnt even look at anyone, i loved her for how shy and quiet she was... After 6 months of me being with her, she held her head up high and talked to everyone, it made me so happy. Over the course of the relationship I expected certain things from her, which any normal boyfriend would want from his partner, and she really couldnt do much in the way of that... I really dont think I expected too much of her, maybe she took things the wrong way... I just dont know anymore.. Also, its very possible she just grew out of our relationship.. realizing shes gotta do stuff on her own. Today was one of the worst days of my life, this kills me. The only thing that helps me is you guys. thanks again... any more ideas feel free to post... I want to call her so badly, or send something to her, anything an email... but i know thats so wrong to do. Link to comment
Benson Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 thats exactly how i feel too.... Link to comment
Benson Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 well i broke NC kind of. I sent one sentance to my ex: "Theres so much I want to say but I cant, I need to heal, i hope you had a great christmas and have an excellent new year''... no moment of weakness.. just had to be done i guess... shes probably got my email blocked anyways Link to comment
Benson Posted January 4, 2007 Author Share Posted January 4, 2007 I keep thinking I did something wrong to her.. it makes me feel like crap not knowing what went wrong. Link to comment
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