Massari Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 well she is in L.A.. she cheated on me .. I think. I found this message in her messages.. she deleted the other parts of the convo.. anyhow I broke up with her.. this time its once and for all. SHe tells me these two guy were nice to her and she thought about doing stuff with them (thats after I broke up with her last night) she said she didn't cause of me. but if she loved me how can this thought even come accross her mind? I feel a little sad now.. but I know I will not get back with her. There is anothe woman at work and we will be going on a date soon.. 8 months spending money energy and afford just kicks you in the nuts when your significant other thinks about partying and having a good time and making out with guys. To be honest she is not even pretty .,., kinda fat and all.. I know I can do better just that my self steem is very low now.. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 I thought you guys already broke up? Honestly, from everything you have written about her, it just doesn't sound like a good relationship. Link to comment
Massari Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 I thought you guys already broke up? Honestly, from everything you have written about her, it just doesn't sound like a good relationship. we keep breaking up.. then I forgive her/ we get back together but this time its just headach for me.. I can't take it anymore I am kinda saad now, but I think its normal to be Link to comment
Boughs Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Merry Christmas. Go for the pretty ones, you (and me) are young... being selective at this age without any significant ties to things, allows us to be more "pig-headed". Sure can be rude and you of course have to think of your own morales, but its also a learning stage. Those good looking girls tend to be the "non-dateable" girls. (Obviously a personal observation and has little to no truth to it in the general world. Its my observation). Take the new year to be a starting point. Don't go back to that girl... explore more, you/me are young... date more Link to comment
Just A Teen Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Good luck Masari, I hope this next one will value and treat you better. Time and effort is a terrible thing to waiste Link to comment
Massari Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 thank you all sooo much this day is supposed to be happy.. but I amnot.. she did so many bad things to me.. and I was nothing but nice to her. I started amoking abouy 5 months ago cause of all the stress she puts on me.. drinking,, Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 hey - don't be so hard on yourself. make your new year's resolution to live healthier and better. as for the date, just go out and enjoy, don't jump into a new relationship. at this point, what would you rather have? an awesome, loyal girlfriend who is a little chubby, or a pretty slim gf who is out fooling around with other men? Link to comment
Massari Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 hey - don't be so hard on yourself. make your new year's resolution to live healthier and better. as for the date, just go out and enjoy, don't jump into a new relationship. at this point, what would you rather have? an awesome, loyal girlfriend who is a little chubby, or a pretty slim gf who is out fooling around with other men? LOL I know.. my ex was the chubby the ugly one! the one the fooled around with men.. the one I might go on a date is pretty and gorgeous its a win win situation kinda! Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 ok, so she was ugly and cheating on you? ug. what a prize! find someone better for you. Link to comment
Massari Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 ok, so she was ugly and cheating on you? ug. what a prize! find someone better for you. YES.. she is insecure about her self I guess cheating would make her feel better.. my friends are telling me.. what she is now (thinks she is the hottest thing on earth) is because you made her like that, so much respect for her. She told me I lost her and she was the best gf I could ever get!! I highly doubt that!! but what if it is true??? you see that kinda talk really bringe your slef steem down.. i.e. it brought mine down quite alot Link to comment
Reluctant Rebuilder Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Sorry to hear about the breakup man, that's really harsh. But the good thing is you get to experience someone new. Also, you probably have learned a lot from this, even though it might not seem like it now. When you meet another woman like her, you know that she doesn't have anything you want. Link to comment
Massari Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Sorry to hear about the breakup man, that's really harsh. But the good thing is you get to experience someone new. Also, you probably have learned a lot from this, even though it might not seem like it now. When you meet another woman like her, you know that she doesn't have anything you want. thanx alot brother appreciate that alot Marry Christmas Link to comment
rose2summer Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 She was unattractive, plump, and a cheater, you deserve better. I saw your pictures in the post your picture forum, you're a great looking guy. Get a woman who deserves you not one who needs to find other men to build her self-esteem. I think you should drop her like the plaque and venture out to see what's out there. If she is telling you she is the best gf you can get, that is her projecting how bad of a gf she is, it's all a pyschological game and one you don't need. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
nomoretears4uboo Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 YES.. she is insecure about her self I guess cheating would make her feel better.. my friends are telling me.. what she is now (thinks she is the hottest thing on earth) is because you made her like that, so much respect for her. She told me I lost her and she was the best gf I could ever get!! I highly doubt that!! but what if it is true???:S you see that kinda talk really bringe your slef steem down.. i.e. it brought mine down quite alot How is someone who thinks about cheating or actually possibly cheats be the best gf you could ever have? Forget her! you said it shes ugly and fat and cheats on you? When, she said that you should've told her, YOU were the best she could ever do and to go eat a burger. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 I know they say personality matters but if someone isn't attractive to you and is mean/or has bad intentions, then what good can come out of a relationship? I myself have dated men who my friends say, what?, you go after the not so good-looking guy but turn down the good-looking one for them. They told me I could do so much better than him in the looks dept. I did that because I thought there would be less chance for him to stray or cheat, opposite happened, he cheated on me online. My case in point, sometimes those who have low self-esteem may be more likely to cheat because they want to feel better about themselves. So, now I choose someone based on their personality, not their looks at all. Watch for warning signs too, like the one she showed you. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
freedom Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 you arent even sure... either she did or she didnt. How can you break up with someone over something you arent sure about. You broke up with her because you THINK she did something. There is nothing work about thinking baout something as ong as you know in the end that you are not going to do it. You have gone through these indecisions before in your life and sometimes they are test. As ong as you choose the right thing in the end hat is all the matter and no harm has been done. i would say that you should find out for sure before you do anything but it is already too damn late to change anything. TO be honest. i am wonderig if you atually broke up with this girl sole because of this issue. To find out that you have a girl already lined up make me questin you. Link to comment
Siriana Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 I bet you liked her because you were wearing the same glasses. Just kidding. That's the first thing I noticed in that picture. You're great looking guy, so no need to be insecure. Take some time to be real you again. It will get better, and please don't go back to her again. NC her - that way the temptation will be smaller. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 yeah, you know, in the end, if she is large or small or pretty or ugly, you deserve a drama-free, mature relationship. work on getting your self-esteem up. you are a good guy with a lot to offer (and handsome too!) you don't deserve to be dragged around in the mud by any woman, so don't let that happen. go NC with your ex gf, and focus on healing and moving forward and put an end to the games. good luck Link to comment
Massari Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 yeah, you know, in the end, if she is large or small or pretty or ugly, you deserve a drama-free, mature relationship. work on getting your self-esteem up. you are a good guy with a lot to offer (and handsome too!) you don't deserve to be dragged around in the mud by any woman, so don't let that happen. go NC with your ex gf, and focus on healing and moving forward and put an end to the games. good luck The possibility of cheating was now certain. She let this guy take her out on a date.. in his car to show the city.. ,,, last night she came online I thought I blocked her on MSN but no i didn't. she tells me this guy is picking her up tomorrow for a bonfire .. just them. Today I feel awful. What can I do...?? NO i don't love her, no I don't want her back, I don't want to have anything to do with her but eventhough all this was my decision I am hurt. Depressed unhappy on the edge of giving up everything an just sit one place and cry. cry cry till I die.... Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Hey Massari, I am sorry for your loss and I have read many posts you have written about your relationship in the past. You have a good head on your shoulders....you have a positive way of seeing your situation but when a negative things keeps being negative.. You have to surrender. I have faith in you that you will be stronger very soon and even convince yourself that this is for the best. You cannot control what she does or thinks period. YOU can however control YOU and right now that is MOST IMPORTANT. You shine of confidence and I am almost positive that you will transform into something so confident and loving that you will be posting about how you did it... Why...?? Simply put.... Because you are who you are and NO ONE can take YOU away from YOU. Take Care my friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
Massari Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 thank you all soo much.. supredave.. everyone this is the followup.. We went to montreal for new years and she is still in L.A. she is coming back on suday night, We had some small chats.. there.. She told me no this guy means nothing to me.. and I sent her some text asking if she still cares about me and us. She never answered and that is how I got my closure. Now that she is coming back.. she keeps calling me texting me leaving me text messages and I am just ignoring it .. NC 100%. I am moving on and I am not sad anymore. its funny I have no feelings for her anymore any feeling that I may start to have again it gets fades away when I think what she did with this guy. I don't want to hear her voice or talk to her ever again. she means nothing to me anymore.. Building a foundation is hard in a relationship and destroying it takes one second and she just proved it. but what do you all think? should I pick up once and see what she has to say but then at the same time if I hear her I may forget everything and give her a chance and I don't want that. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I say you do what you HEAD tells you..NOT your heart. Listen to your heart only after you reason and deduct your situation first. To say you love someone and yet do NOTHING to show it....are only words. Take care Massari.. SuperDave71 Link to comment
Massari Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 To say you love someone and yet do NOTHING to show it....are only words. thanks alot man.. are you referring to her or me here? Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Words are only words..but actions stand for themselves.. I am referring to her.. Take care, SuperDave71 Link to comment
kellbell Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hey Massari, It is my belief she keeps calling and texting because you are not answering her calls. She is panicking now. Before, you always took her back but not this time. So, now it is her time to feel insecure and blown off. She needs to deal with the consequences of cheating on you. And you are doing everything right. Try not to give in to her advances, stay strong. It is a new year, new beginnings, a chance to start over. You deserve much better than this. Hang in there. Link to comment
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