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[jusified]

I've have already posted my story in another forum but would like you guys to give me some comment especially if you are a girl or guy whom have been in similar situations.

 

I am 21 and my ex is 20 we are both in our last semester of Uni. We did have a great relationship for nearly 2 years and was going to go on exchange together.

 

Basically 1 week before my ex was going to go on a family holiday overseas for 1 month (then I was going to meet her for exchange for 6 month) she broke up with me over the phone after we had an argument.

 

She told me that she wanted space and to be independent. This is after i have booked tickets and organised accommodation for us to travel etc. She basically just abandoned me and left (all alone for the holidays)...i now have lost quite a bit of money on cancellations.

 

I then find out she met a guy on her sporting trip on the weekend she brokeup with me who had similar interest to her, he hit on her and she respoonded and they clicked (made her feel like she dont love me anymore). She then went out to drinks with him a few nights after she broke up with me.

 

She is now over seas and we have had no contact (been 3 weeks), i know she is probably talking to him and having a lot of fun overseas and not even thinking about whats happened. Before she left she was still saying she is confused, need to explore what other relationships there is, but said I have been great but she just dont love me as a bf anymore (while the week before she said she missed me and loved me etc),.

 

I'm doing fine atm, keeping myself busy and doing alot of things to improve myself for my own benefit. What I would like is really a female opinion whom have gone through this situation or male as well and maybetell me an out come. (I know most likely we will never really speak again and she will move on and so would I)

 

Thanks guys

[CaliGirl77]

I am truly sorry to hear what is happening to you.

 

I am definitely not a mean spirited person at all - but I pulled this on an ex. I dated him for over 2 years. The spark died. Someone else caught my eye and attention. But one true factor in the deal was that my B/F of 2 years spent very little time with me, and a couple other small issues that popped up - that I could NOT get over (one was him cheating). The trust was gone too.

 

I'm not saying that's what happened. But, it is truly in your best interedst to recognize that she is not for you, anymore. Maybe at one time, but not now.

 

People change. But we remain the same. Sounds confusing right? You'll understand that someday. It will take a little time, but get out, go out, meet new people!

 

I wish you the BEST!

[jusified]

Well i guess the difference is I was really good to her and a great bf. No cheating and avoided girls that showed interest, helped her around the house, cooked for her family, look after her when she was sick, looked for acoomodation to travel and then she leaves me LOL.

 

I agree, it's been 1 month since the break up, still hurts, still annoys me and I am disappointed. But I pitty her cause of the person she is and that down the road there will always be a little thing at th back of her had thats going to regret (Maybe not now but way down the line when shes experienced the orld more).

 

I am moving on,and is looking forward to my life because I have realised alot of things. I now want to do alot of things that I didn't get a chance to do and thinkabout before. I am also looking forward to meetin a nicer girl and eventually be with someone that truly loves and appreciates me.

[blender]

You seem like a great guy, and you deserve someone who will appreciate this, and cherish you as well. This ex is simply going through part of the journey of "self discovery" so as difficult as this may be for you, do NOT take it personally. You can feel good about the kind of boyfriend you were to her, and yes in time she may also "discover" this as well.. so be proud of yourself, feel empowered about what YOU have to offer anyone you begin to love... and know that the best is ahead of you, all possilbilities, personal growing, love, kindness, respect, joy, intamcy.. so many wonderful things... live within your own standards and values, and remember to not waste your precious energy on anyone who is not making a loving intentional effort to be in your life.. best, Blender

[jusified]

Thanks Blender, that is really nice

 

LOL I'm understand the stage she is at with her life but never less her actions showed me who she is right now.

 

Thanks for the replies, I know at 21 I will meet wonderful people in my life but at the moment some times it feels like I won't. All is good and I'm doing or planed alot of things now and am looking forward to them.

[Joe77]

Everybody has already said what I would.

 

Keep in mind, at the ages you are, most people just aren't ready for commitment. She probably was not and it's good it happened now and not later, in hindsight, although it hurts now.

 

Keep yourself busy as you are. Maybe join a dating site just to meet some girls, even if you don't date them.

[jusified]

Well we've had no contact for a month now, she's over seas till June LOL, so by that time I think when she comes back everything will be different. I just find it funny how all of a sudden a girl can just not care about you anymore. I suppose what everyone has said is right, maybe she will realise her mistakes in years...decades to come, but it will just be a I made a mstake so I will learn from it and won;t dwell on it.

 

The holidays are pretty bad..benn pretty much alone, but one the holidays ae finished I think my life will ick up and hopefully all goes well opportunities in the new year will present it self.

[blender]

Yes, the holidays are so tough, but please remember that whether she "realizes a mistake" or not, that this relationship was in your life for a reason, it could be an emotionally painful bridge to a better, more wise, more independent and confident YOU.

 

It's normal that we are "sad" for awhile in life, this is when we have the opportunity to discover our own strengths, our own precious hearts, it's when we are hurt that we realize how very loving we can be, and that this love will be shared with someone who also respectfully cherishes your heart. Trust this. Fate has a plan for you. Probably better than you can imagine right now.

 

For today this girl might "seem" like thee one, but trust that sometimes we meet people along our path that are really preparing us for the "right" one... and sometimes that preperation comes in the form of "heartache"... so feel all your feelings, and keep putting one foot in front of the other, walking through this emotional cement with your head held high, will help you build loving muscles you never knew you had... it will all be okay, even better.

 

The best is ahead of you, not behind you. As I have said before on this site, "looking too long in the rearview mirror only causes to emotionally crash, so grab your life steering wheel, and aim high and far, and straight ahead.. and remember to take in all the scenery, you never know who will be standing on your path... to love you, to cherish you, to understand you.. and it all starts with you giving this love, and understanding to yourself."

 

The holidays will be over in a few days, and you can dust yourself off, fake a smile, and go out there and meet new people, and enjoy your precious life, good health, and your heart will heal... it will. The best is ahead of you.

[amystar]

Sorry for what you're going through. I have had a version of that happen to me before too. He had decided to just end if out of the blue. From my experience, the best way to deal with it is to just keep yourself very busy. Do something nice for yourself and remember that you deserve better. You sound like a great guy, I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who would love to have you in their life, so just keep your head up and the right one will come along.

 

It is probably best that she is away for a couple of months. That way, you don't have to see her and you can work on moving on with your life. The worst for me is having to see them after a break-up. It just brings back all the hurt youre feeling. Good luck! Just remember, do something nice for yourself because you deserve it.

[jusified]

Good thing for me is that she is over seas

 

Young girls....errrr, maybe some of you more mature/wiser women can really understand what shes going through and tell me a few stories about when you were 20. I am trying to understand and I can see it, but i still think she did the wrong thing in terms of the way she just bailed and ran for the hills.

 

I am truly on my way to moving on though.