Are girls intimidated by attractive men?

[SoMuchLove]

Hi

 

I was wondering are some women intimidated by attractive looking men just as some men are intimidated by attractive women?

 

EX is this girl I work with who waves to me in a shy/cute kind of way whenever she sees me, but never comes in for a conversation unless I approach her or getsure her to come over to me. Which tells me that I have to always initiate anything bewteen us [which it would be nice to have someone approach me for change so I know if they are really interested or am just wasting my time on being lead on]. I find it odd because if we've talked a few times before it should make her more comfortable with me right? And I know she isn't a shy person, she's just shy when it comes to me because she's the out-going type.

 

Also, I noticed that whenever I'm out with friends, girls show the least attention to me. I'm not vein, but I've been told I'm sexy, cute, great personality/mentallity and all that by the opposite sex many times all in different age ranges. And I'm aware that they just may not want to talk to me[as far as being with friends and being ignored] but I have a personality to where I get along with just about anyone[without "people pleasing"] so I wonder why I don't get much of a chance to converse... I'm also small and non-threatining which confuses me further lol

 

Lastly, I catch many girls staring at me but they never say anything. Even if I hold the stare to show interest/let them know I know they're looking at me, they quickly look away. This goes on day to day and makes me feel really uncomfortable and alienated

[TheRedQueen]

I think people generally assume that highly attractive people already have mates. Plus, many people might view great looking people as being out of their league.

[Kevin T]

Both of which, I am learning, are false, self-limiting beliefs which do no one any good.

[SoMuchLove]

Hi

 

This is what I've thought about from time to time, but I don't like the way it feels. It's almost like saying I'm too good for them or something like that which I'm not! I just don't like being treated so differently and the last thing I want to be is conceited.

 

Should I just give up on being approachable and just continue to be aggressive? It can be hard because I while I do have confidence, I even find most women I really want to talk to be intimidating and hard to approach.

[GQstatus]

I might be wrong here, but are you sure you're as good looking as YOU think you are? Iv'e also, been called "sexy" "hot" "handsome" and even "beautiful", but I'm no where near a 10. I'm average.

 

In my 23 years of exsistence, Iv'e come to realize, MOST women don't "approach". Women want to be the "prize" and need to feel wanted. thereforeee, your best bet would be to just simply walk up to these girls and say hi, introduce yourself.

 

If you already know them, like the girl you work with, this should make it that much easier. Make it work related, just to strike up a convo.

[_Jaffa_]

Girls saying you're sexy is usually just because they're trying to be nice and make you feel good about yourself. I have female friends that do it all the time and I know they're lying and it makes me feel even more like crap. They mean well I guess.

[MacGyverRI]

I'm also small and non-threatining which confuses me further lol

 

 

 

Lastly, I catch many girls staring at me but they never say anything. Even if I hold the stare to show interest/let them know I know they're looking at me, they quickly look away. This goes on day to day and makes me feel really uncomfortable and alienated

 

Women usually go for the bigger men, they assume that they will protect them better.

 

Walk up to them and start talking, women prefer bold types.

 

 

Women can also be strange at times (somewhere around 99%) and men may never figure them out.....

[_Jaffa_]

Walk up to them and start talking, women prefer bold types.

 

I wish I had your confidence.

[MacGyverRI]

I wish I had your confidence.

 

You do, you just don't know it yet.

[Day_Walker]

I think people generally assume that highly attractive people already have mates. Plus, many people might view great looking people as being out of their league.

 

Yes these are two big assumptions that others make about "attractive" people. I dont think that they have to be intimidated, instead they could think you are cute but not their type. There could be many different reasons why this happens but remember that you cannot be attractive to everyone since a good percentage of attractiveness is subjective. It is hard to say exactly why you dont get much conversation but knowing this perhaps you have to initiate more.

[NoComply]

its true, to an extent.

[SoMuchLove]

Hi GQstatus

 

I don't think I'm a 10 either. I think I'm just as average as anyone else. It's mosltly because of my eyes and skin color that make me look a bit different/standout-ish[light skin/mixed in appearance with gray eyes] so I look "rare" more than anything else.

 

I see other guys and my guy friends get approached by the opposite sex most of the time and I guess I'd just like to have to for a change rather than always being the initiator. I don't expect that women should just come to me out of nowhere all the time, but sometimes rather than no times would be nice. I can be bold sometimes, but I guess have have to work on being bold all the time lol. I treat women as equals so I feel they should be able to approach me just as much I can them[or any other guy for that matter]. Too much pressure on the males to make the move, make the calls, set up the dates, and then possibly face rejection[which I have no problem with because I've had my fair share of rejection]. It shouldn't be all about the guy making the moves anymore. It should just be focused on if someone has interest and just going for it.

 

But it looks like the ways of the "olden days" haven't died out just yet... or ever will.

 

Hi MacGyveRI

 

I agree with you than women do lean towards bigger men for the protection fatcor. In a world where people have weapons, all they can do is "feel" secure, but I guess that feeling alone should be enough becuase even the big guy can't pass the protection test when it comes to a gun or a knife. It's all somewhat subconscious or pre-programmed from years of natural selection [i think] so nothing can really be don't about that...

 

What about a small guy with a strong mentallity? Could that beat out physical strength or considerded to be sexy? I know that most women seem to be sexually attracted to guys with the muscles or possibly even very determined/goal oriented guys....

 

Looks like becoming bolder is should improve on because being constanly bold is something I'm honestly not so good at... I used to be very shy and part of me still is that way which is why I probably prefer that women come up to me sometime to make it easier on me. Being bold all of the time is difficult, but I guess practice makes perfect? lol

 

Hi Day Walker

 

It is hard to say exactly why you dont get much conversation but knowing this perhaps you have to initiate more.

 

I agree with you here. I just have it in my mind that if I'm with my friends and girls are talking to them instead of me, I feel like a kid in need of attention. Like "okay so she just spoke to them, so is she going to speak to me next?" I even have it to where they ask everyone else's name but mines! Talk about a spirit killer. Again, I don't expect to be talked to all of the time, but sometimes would be nice...

 

So far, it all seems that the arrows are pointing to me to always initiate and be aggressive... so this is what I'm going to practice and work on

 

Should I just forget about being approached and always got for it?

[Kevin T]

In many respects, we are very much alike. I stand out greatly in a crowd myself, too. Having fair skin, auburn hair and very dark eyes, I stick out a lot. But I use it to my advantage. And I've been frustrated by the lack of women approaching me, too. I know I am a good looking guy; nothing "average" or common about me. So naturally I should be getting all the women, right? Wrong. So wrong. This is a false way of thinking and it will get you NOWHERE fast. (BTW, my avatar is NOT me. lol Can't believe some of you would think that! lmao)

 

Anyway, you say it shouldn't always be up to the man to make the first move. Why not? If this is the way the system works, runs and is set up, do you think YOU are going to somehow be magically able to change it?

 

Wouldn't it be more productive and fruitful for you to simply adapt to the system, learn what you need to do, then do it? At least, then you'd be getting somewhere.

 

Instead of sitting back on the sidelines, playing a passive, spectator's role, why not get out there, be a MAN, and start taking some risks and chances? Sure, there is a chance you could get hurt. But there's also a chance you could find someone great and have a start at a great relationship. It works both ways.

 

The choice, in the end, ultimately is up to you.

 

Also, you may be getting more looks and attention from women than you think. I used to immediately discount any possibility of any good looking girl showing interest in me because I did not believe it possible. But when I stopped and took an objective look back at myself, I saw more than a few times when there was a clear expression of interest, despite my shy, timid demeanor. So, start looking more; you'd be surprised!

 

Or, better yet, stop expecting everything without doing anything yourself! I'm lazy too. I want everything handed to me without any effort. Well, the best things in life are hard to do; this is no exception. If you want to get anywhere with women, you need to be actively doing something about it and not expecting them to do your part.

[walkingwithaghost]

Hey Stud,

 

Just a suggestion, but in our culture it's customary for the MAN to approach the WOMAN. Maybe the girl you work with expects you to come talk to her in the interest of logic. You seem like a guy who thinks he's really hot and that women should come to him. If you notice someone you think is interested in you you should go talk to them.

I'm not intimidated by attractive guys. I think woman value different things then men. I know it's stereotypical, but I usually interpret attractive guys as dumb and thereforeeee not threatening.... Especially a guy who just maintains eye contact with me and then expects me to come to him because he's so very good looking....

 

Laura

[MacGyverRI]

[

 

Hi MacGyveRI

 

It's all somewhat subconscious or pre-programmed from years of natural selection [i think] so nothing can really be don't about that...

 

 

 

Looks like becoming bolder is should improve on because being constanly bold is something I'm honestly not so good at... I used to be very shy and part of me still is that way which is why I probably prefer that women come up to me sometime to make it easier on me. Being bold all of the time is difficult, but I guess practice makes perfect? lol

 

 

1000's of years of natural selection caused it. a woman knows when she meets you if you are someone she wants to sleep with so if you don't get any quick and heavy flirting then move on because you're already out of the running.

 

Boldness works well, just don't be way too bold and turn them off because they may think you're a jerk.

[denisemarie]

she's just shy when it comes to me

I gotta tell ya, when I think I guy is good looking or I'm interested I stay way back because I get all tongue tied, butterflies in the stomach, and blushy like a fourteen your old girl. She is probabaly interested but to nervous to approach you.

[turqoise]

Personally, l get find it hard to approachmen that are more attractive than me. Because it is generally accepted that men are more visually-stimulated creatures and I would feel bad if I could see he wasn`t pleased by how I looked. Women can see these things in a person`s expression, and personally it really upsets me when a guy`s eyes looks at me and says `she`s nothing special`. I generally find it easier to approach guys who are either less attractive than me, or who I can see have a sparkle in their eyes enjoying me being there.

These are initial impressions, and when I know him as a friend, it`s a different story. If I like him, it`s not something I can hide - if I can`t see any bad signs from him then I`ll go ahead and tell him Very satisfying getting feelings connected.

[SoMuchLove]

Hi Laura, you've got me all wrong...

 

You seem like a guy who thinks he's really hot and that women should come to him.

 

This is not the case at all to be honest. I don't think they should flock to me, but rather approach me sometimes rather than never. Keep in mind that I'm in no way conceited. I don't think anything of myself other than people treat me different because of how I look and it's not fair[as far as it's always on my hand to make the moves which I recently learned I need to work on from this post] I see have have to ALWAYS be confindent now. Kinda like I'm some kind d*** simply because I want to know what it's like to be approached for a change. What I mean is that to say that even if I wanted to talk to a girl with no intentions at all, why should the guys "always" initiate? Confidence should not even be a factor, but more of two people just conversing. I may be attractive, but I'm not a very confident guy a majority of the time. It's like if a guy randomly talks to a girl they're going to date or be romantic. Maybe I can't change culture, but I like a women with confidence I guess[to make up fo the lack I may have in situations.. kinda like meeting halfway] Also, I view sexes as equals in every way so I think it really "childish" that things work out this way in all honesty. I just get so confused as why it can be hard for a girl to just walk up to a guy for change, but I know why at the same time. Guys can be shy sometimes no matter how attractive they are and we all know it's the same story with girls. Gals have it way too easy lol. So I'm no stud... just a some-what shy guy stuck with nice looks who needs to improve on being the "Alpha Male" to get any attention from the opposite sex^_^"

 

Maybe I'm wrong to challange society, but I've always walked my own line so I just highly disagree with "the rules" and they way things "have to be". Everything is equal in my eyes, but seems like my eyes must really suck lol. So all I can do is just go with the wave rather than trying to fight through it...

 

Especially a guy who just maintains eye contact with me and then expects me to come to him because he's so very good looking....

 

I don't think anything but "I'm human and so is she. She can approach me just like I can approach her. I may be nervous. she may be too. Equals...". I'm not to big on rolling out the red carpet I guess... equality is all I see, but I'm going to change that. As the male, it's seems it's my "duty" to always be on the "attack". It appears my "wanting to be approached for a change" is a childish way of thinking now because the guy should ALWAYS approach the girl... even if the girl is interested in the guy[oddly].

 

So hate to admit it, but I'm giving in to society. I will attempt speak to every girl I see that I'm interested in/shows interest in me[easier said than done] and keep everyone updated on how things turn out ^_^

 

I gotta tell ya, when I think I guy is good looking or I'm interested I stay way back because I get all tongue tied, butterflies in the stomach, and blushy like a fourteen your old girl. She is probabaly interested but to nervous to approach you.

 

Hi denisemarie

 

I'm sure your right. It would be best [as the guy] to make things easy for her just by simply approaching her. I get nervous too, but making things easy for her seems to be the more "gentlemen-like" thing to do. I just have to be "a man" lol... Plus, I haven't stopped to consider she may be more nervous than myself so I am glad you mentioned this.

 

I'm sensing many double-standards on this topic lol...

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Generally i am. First thoughts to run through your mind are they are way to good for you... Just ignore them. I guess thats being shallow but attractive guys freak me out cuz they all seem to have a crowd of other guys round them (generally just as attractive) and then i look to myself and think as if don't worry about them... Ouch now i've said that i feel like a cow... I'm sorry.

[SoMuchLove]

It's okay Rozi

 

All I have to say is everyone is the same. No matter how attractive or unattractive the person may be, much can't be assumed about the person until they are approached[i admit I've met a some attractive women who openly admit they are conceited and treat ya like your just some other guy in line... which I'm never going to allow myself to be because of self-respect... lets not forget the some attractive men can be just as arrogant because the attention that the get from girls goes to their head and they become studs simply because that's whe kind of attention girls give them and it just happens over time]

 

I'm really pushing that girls just have more confidence because guy or girl, attractive or un-attractive it's still the same thing in my book. We all can get nervous so we can just "help" each other out by going off of interest rather than what role you play in this dumb game called Society. Roles in society shouldn't matter, but they do and that will never change... sorry for saying this, but women don't want to be as equal as I thought. I feel it should be in every way, not just ways involving politics and other matters. So it seems like I have to drop my equality mind set... to an extent of course.

 

In short, no ones ever too good for you! It's just a matter of you approaching them if you have interest[or even if you don't have interest] Keep in mind they may not approach you... but they may want to but are intimidated by you... attractiveness doesn't mean they have all the confidence they "should" have so all we can do as people is just go for it!>_^

 

"Are girls intimidated by attractive men?"

 

The majority seems to be, but everyone is different.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Well said SoMuchLove, i guess we all gotta learn not to judge a book by its cover.

[TheyMustNeverKnow]

This probably will sound totally stuck up but when I see a attractive guy or chick I don't go "omg argh hes so cute avoid"... I flirt... Im one of those nartural flirters.. i flirt with everyone! I may have sounded like im some drop dead gorgeous babe who can get any guy but I aint... Im just naturally confident too.... I think it's cuz I've sorta been brought up with everyone telling me im beautiful (you know what families are like) but I took it more to heart then normal little kids so I just became confident and plus if I try it on a guy and he like meanly rejects me I know how to handle it (a few well placed comebacks and maybe a slap or two)... plus I have my bestestestes friend who loves me and tells me im goregous and as weird as it is that always makes me feel better!

 

 

 

So the point to my story is you don't need to be afraid of attractive guys... sure some can be tital jerks but if they are just make sure you have a couple well placed comebacks hidden in your sleeve and if he be's a true bastard (eg. as if id go out with someone liek you" then slap him)

 

Sorry to all guys who find this offensive but I know not all guy s are like this just a few of the stuck up ones.

[MacGyverRI]

Sorry to all guys who find this offensive but I know not all guy s are like this just a few of the stuck up ones.

 

 

Did you know that women are more "stuck up" than men?

 

A person can also work on their personality.

[poloplayer]

but I usually interpret attractive guys as dumb and thereforeeee not threatening

 

I like this comment. Many really attractive men are "big headed" and think that the woman should pursue him. Some women will, but many won't. If you think about it, yes, you have someone you is very attractive sexually, but you already know something about their personality which isn't exactly a turn-on. It can be complicated though because I have met some guys that are really just shy.

 

Did you know that women are more "stuck up" than men?

 

Nice one MacGyver, and so true. A couple of weeks ago I was being introduced to a girl (really attractive) at a bar by a friend when a guy friend that I have not seen in years came up to me out of nowhere to say hi. This happened right before I was about to shake the girls hand and exchange names, hellos, etc., and I saw out of the corner of my eye how she was a little pissy. She crossed her arms and blatantly rolled her eyes. After I finished catching up with my friend (about 1 minute), I went over to her to shake her hand and introduce myself. I told her how rude it is to roll your eyes at someone - especially when first meeting them. For the next 15 minutes or so she was jumping from friend to friend and telling them what just transpired, and I saw this and thought, "What, like I'm the bad guy? Get over yourself."

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Yeah girls can be stuck up and so can guys... Lets say this its equal. You can't say a guys a jerk cuz his hot. I have one friend who i find really attractive (in a friend way lol) and he never knew he was until we told him... Just things like that. And not all hot girls are . Lots of drop dead gorgeous girls are really shy. So i guess you just have to get to know them. Then again at the end of the day, i'm still gonna be completely intimadated by a good looking guy/girl lol.