ex gf jealous, please help i have noone else to ask!

[cherrygoodness]

My boyfriend and i have a complicated history. We love eachother very much and spend almost every day witheachother. We met while he was having problems with his exgirlfriend and i thought they were breaking up. He cheated on her with me then i realzed that they wrent breaking up right away. We became really good friends throughout the next year. After they did break up we imediately started sleeping together. I fell in love with him but he wasnt over the breakup and didnt want a girlfriend yet, so we were just friends. At this point all of this was very painful for me to go through, he started dating other girls, and although i was dating other people too, i would have given it up for him. Eventually we started dating, and now we are in a relationship where we spend all of our time together. I trust him not to cheat on me now, however, at the beginning of our relationship, he asked a girl to text him a picture of her boobs and she did and i saw it. things like that havent happened in a long time, but it still hurts, and i dont know if i should be over it by now or not. It hurts me so much and i get really mad at him when he talks to his ex, or when i have to see anything that has to do with her. Times i have known of that he talks to her was like 2 in the morning while i was in bed. and another while i was at the library studying. i guess i just want to know if i have the right to tell him that i cant be with him unless he stops talking to her for a while. i dont want to be that crazy girlfriend it just hurts so much. I hate the fact that she doesnt even know that when they were having problems we slept together. I feel that it isnt fair to her nor to me. he refuses to talk about their relationship at all and give me any reasoning for why he would cheat on her with me ( i wasnt really aware that they would get back together and i didnt know her, although i did feel bad) i love him so much and i trust him and know that he wouldnt cheat on me, but it still hurts, i just dont know what to do, and the fact that he has been sneaky, even though hes appoligiezed and stuff still doesnt help my trust

[BornToResist]

I'm sorry to ask this, but why do you think he won't cheat on you?

 

This guy has proved he's not trustworthy, so why are you so set on trying to make yourself trust him...?

[DaDancingPsych]

I see one red flag after another! It's true, he's proven that he can't be trusted. I wouldn't be so carefree to trust him. And don't you think that's part of the problem with him talking to his ex-girlfriend? If he cheated on her with you, why wouldn't he cheat on you with her? If I was trying to gain the full trust of someone, I would eliminate such my ex out of my life. Sit back and really read your post. How would you advice someone if it wasn't you posting?

[colors]

Just like the other posters....I see red flags all over.

You feel betrayed & you should.

You say he will never cheat on you..why are you so sure? at the beginning of your relationship, he was asking to see another girls boobs & he did....does that sound like a faithful man? seriously think on that.

He talks to his ex, only when you aren't around? Yep that's sneaky.

 

There are so many red flags here, it's no wonder you're not feeling secure....that's your gut, listen to it. Your head knows before your heart does. Be aware of the facts he's proven to be untrustworthy...don't dismiss that & think he'll be something different, something special for you...he is who he is, and he's showing you his colors.Please see them & protect yourself & your heart....get out this relationship.

[Rabican]

It always amazes me that people think well he cheated WITH me, but he wont cheat ON me. Bull!

 

If he will cheat, he will cheat. And whats worse, you should know better, you have to expect it. And if you knew he had a gf at the time when he cheated on her, I cant even say id feel sorry for you.

 

I dont see how you can ever truly trust him... so either deal with it, or find a man that you can trust.

[scarew]

Mmmhmmm yes... red flags.

I used to be that crazy jealous gf too. But I just remind myself that there ARE no red flags in my situation.

 

But you did say that these things haven't happened in a long time. And as someone who has been on the OTHER side, I don't want to condemn your man yet. You just have to make a decision. You need to decide to trust him, or decide that you just can't. It's that simple. If you decide to trust him, you must face the fact that he MIGHT cheat on you one day. You have to train your mind into not KNOWING that he might cheat. You will find out that he cheated and you will not have expected it. thereforeeeE you will not have worried about it up until that point. So that means if he doesn't cheat, you will have a worry free, healthy relationship.

 

Your other option is to just tell him that although you care about him very much your fears about him cheating are just too strong to maintain a healthy relationship. The things he showed about his personality in the beginning are too difficult for you to get over right now. And end the relationship. Good luck!

[kelkel]

Listen it is obvious he hasnt completely resolved all the issues with his past relationship.

I also believe that it is a mistake for a woman to get with a man that cheated on his woman, with her, it simply means he is capable of this type of dishonesty and the probability of him repeating this is higher, however, this is your choice and i am not judging him.

What i suggest is that you do what is best for you, if the best option for you is giving him an ultimatum then by all means, make yourself comfortable. You are his woman now and you do have that right