Always The Loner..

[HurleyBabe6917]

Well, I'm not too sure what category this goes in, but I put it in Emotions & Feelings because, well, it's just how I'm feeling right now. I just need to get it off my chest, and say how I'm feeling. You don't need to write anything.

 

 

 

I'm always the loner. You know, the kid you see standing or sitting by themselves in school. I don't even know why. I'm not scary, or an outcast, or unfriendly. But, somehow, I always end up alone. I'm always left out of conversations, never really talked to, no one ever says "Hey, wanna go get a pop/snack with me?" I stand by myself as we wait for the Career Center bus to take me back to my regular school. Normally I sit alone on the bus. i walk to all of my classes alone too. I have plenty of friends, but none of them ever just walk or talk with me.

 

I guess I just wish someone would notice me. Or have the decency to atleast notice im lonely and invite me over to chat with them. I'm always left out and alone. I hate it..

[Newo Ikkin]

I know all too well how that feels, angel.

 

But I've learned that attention goes both ways, and sometimes it pays to push yourself into the crowd.

[HurleyBabe6917]

 

I try to tell myself "It's OK to be alone" because it is. I'm not always going to have somebody there with me, and I realize that. I just hate that people can't take the time away from themselves to notice that someone is lonely and do something about it.

I probably should just push my way into the crowd, but I have a hard time doing that.

[Newo Ikkin]

I know its difficult! *huggles*

 

I have been told by my counsellor that individuals are often left out, even by friends, due to their jealousy of you. Strange I guess, but quite commonly recognised.

 

Dont be downhearted about it

[HurleyBabe6917]

Haha. I wish I had something to make people jealous of.

 

Uhh... I don't know. I guess I'll try joining in with the crowd. Gotta bulid up my confidence though, it's rather low.

[Newo Ikkin]

I'm sorry but I can't imagine the majority of the girls at your school are as pretty as you. Its a bonus, I guess

 

Confidence building is vital. My new years resolution *thumbs up*

[ProtestTheHero]

I can definitely relate to this. Your situation is similar to mine. I in no way have a lack of friends, I just seem to be doing things alone most of the time...especially at school.

 

I'm not scary, an outcast, or unfriendly either. I'm not particularly conventional in the way I think, but people find it interesting more than they do disturbing (unless it's a church group. Fundamentalists do not like my brand of free thinking).

 

People that know me have no problems initiating activities, etc., but I don't have anyone walking up to me and asking me to join them in a certain activity (parties every now and then).

 

The best advice I could give you is to continue doing what your doing. Being alone is not a failure on your part. My friends and I often go out of our way to include people that we notice sitting by themselves, etc. I'm in Florida, so the valley/wanna be thug types tend to leave everyone else out.

 

Don't change who you are just to please someone else, though. I've seen a number of threads that you have started. You seem like a well rounded person.

 

You have already eliminated one of my stereotypes. I assumed all good looking women had it easy and that attention and friendliness came in abundance. I guess not.

 

Just hang in there though.

 

Out of curiosity, what are the majority of the people around you like?

[HurleyBabe6917]

Aww. Thanks. There's plenty of better looking girls though. Girls I am jealous of.

I've always had low self esteem and very low confidence. Always cutting myself down and never thinking I'm good enough.

We'll see how things go.

[easyguy]

I only have one friend and was shy and lonely all through high school... but, at 20, I am very happy with my life. There is nothing wrong with you. How you feel right now, which is "lonely", is a mere state of mind. You see the glass as half empty, I see it as half full.

 

It takes time, trust me. Don't feel like your life is ruined because you do not have a social circle. I don't have one either, but I am happy. The difference between you and I is attitude and focus.

[ProtestTheHero]

I have all the confidence in the world in my personality. I just don't think I'm a very attractive person. I'm not overweight or anything...I'm not sure what it is.

 

There is always someone better looking. At the same time, there will always be someone worse looking. The greatest mistake we can make is to compare ourselves to everyone else.

 

Don't sell yourself short. Often times people don't approach others out of intimidation. Maybe they just think you are better than them. I say this because that's how I feel sometimes. I don't approach beautiful women because they can do better than me.

 

It's a process, and it of course takes time. There has to be something you like about yourself.

 

But yes, social circles are in no way a measure of our own worth...

[HurleyBabe6917]

Yeah, no one ever just comes up to me and asks me to join in on anything either.

 

Well, if you're calling me a good looking woman, then I'm going to say I deffinatly don't have it easy, don't get much attention at all, and even though I have a few close friends, many OK friends, and no enemies that I know of, no one ever initiates conversations or activities with me.

 

By majority of people around me do you mean what stereotype of people are in my school? Or what type of people am I friends with?

[ProtestTheHero]

Yeah, no one ever just comes up to me and asks me to join in on anything either.

 

Well, if you're calling me a good looking woman, then I'm going to say I deffinatly don't have it easy, don't get much attention at all, and even though I have a few close friends, many OK friends, and no enemies that I know of, no one ever initiates conversations or activities with me.

 

By majority of people around me do you mean what stereotype of people are in my school? Or what type of people am I friends with?

 

 

Do you differ from most people around you at school? For example, are you not religious in an area where religion is common? Things of that nature...personality differences, preferences, etc.

 

Are you friends loners, or are they outgoing?

 

Seems weird that you don't get any attention though. You'd get plenty with the type of guys down here, whether you liked it or not. They are about as subtle and charming as a charging rhino. "Me Tarzan, You Jane!" types, lol.

 

Like I said before though, this is in no way an indication of your value. Most of the time I prefer to be alone.

[AhypnoticSuggestion]

Something about calling it "pop" makes me laugh. I know it's a regional thing but it sounds so ridiculous to me. Also, if someone ever asked me to share a pop/snack, with them, I honestly wouldn't know what to do. Who does that? Anyway, I'm getting nitpicky here, I'll try to add something helpful:

 

When I was in school, I strived to be you. I didn't like when people approached me in the hallways, or wanted to walk with me to class. It ended up happening quite a bit, for whatever reason people liked me, and it really bugged me. But I figured out some ways to avoid it, and maybe you can check yourself to see if you're doing any of these things. First, avoid eye-contact at all costs. Second, walk at a fast pace and look like you're in a rush/busy. Also, if you walk into a room or the cafeteria or whatever, be sure to sit by yourself; avoid groups.

 

Do you find yourself doing any of these? Probally not, you seem too friendly to be so avoident, but these are just a few things I did to avoid being confronted.

[HurleyBabe6917]

Do you differ from most people around you at school? For example, are you not religious in an area where religion is common? Things of that nature...personality differences, preferences, etc.

 

Are you friends loners, or are they outgoing?

 

Seems weird that you don't get any attention though. You'd get plenty with the type of guys down here, whether you liked it or not. They are about as subtle and charming as a charging rhino. "Me Tarzan, You Jane!" types, lol.

 

Like I said before though, this is in no way an indication of your value. Most of the time I prefer to be alone.

 

I'm not a religious person, but that's not something important in our school. My school has 500 students in it and it is made up of 95% white kids, 2% african american, 2% hispanic, and 1% asain [i just came up with those figures, but they're pretty acurate.] Most of the people are preppy, but we also have the skaters, the goths, the emos, the jocks, white trash/hicks, geeks, etc. Typical highschool crowd, minus gangsta wanna be kids.

 

I'm friends with pretty much all of these people. I don't follow a certain stereotype, although I used to mainly hang out with the skater kids. My closest friends though, aren't really categorized, they're like me, wearing whatever they want and talking to whoever they want. They're not loners or super outgoing, but I guess I'd say they're more outgoing then a loner like me.

 

I love charging rhinos.

 

I dont really mind being alone, I just don't like it.

[HurleyBabe6917]

Haha, yeah, that's just what we call it here. POP.

 

Kids, well girls, at my school are always asking someone to go with them to do something because they're to scared to go do it themselves, rediculous if you ask me.

 

I don't avoide eye contact in the halls. Actually I do that during conversations sometimes. I just feel weird looking people in the eye al lthe time, makes me feel awkward, and that's supposedly bad.

I don't walk fast paced. Actually I'm a pretty darn slow walker. I've got short legs, and they don't move or reach half as far as everyone elses.

And, I don't sit alone, most of the time, only if I just don't like anyone around me. I have lots of friends at my lunch table, and usually atleast 1 kinda close friend in my classes.

 

I don't know why people don't come talk to me though.

I'm always expected to go to the other person. It's stupid. Why should I always have to come to you?

[HurleyBabe6917]

 

There is always someone better looking. At the same time, there will always be someone worse looking.

 

Totally agree with this. And theres always someone who has it better or worse.

 

And the only thing I really like about myself, are my eyelashes.

 

BY THE WAY, you seem very mature for being 17. Much more so than the 17 year old guys in my school. They're all immature and dumb. hehe.

[TheRedQueen]

Well if it's any consolation, I think you're adorable.

 

Being popular is like, sooooooooo overrated. I'm a loner by choice and I have to say, that I absolutely love my own company, I rock.

 

I bet you rock too, but you just haven't realized it yet.

[HurleyBabe6917]

Well if it's any consolation, I think you're adorable.

 

Being popular is like, sooooooooo overrated. I'm a loner by choice and I have to say, that I absolutely love my own company, I rock.

 

I bet you rock too, but you just haven't realized it yet.

 

Aww.. thank you. You look very much like one of my ex co-workers. i loved that girl. lol.

 

Anyways, it's not really that I want to be popular, because, like you said, it is overrated. I'd just love it if people came to me, instead of me always going to them. I don't want to be the little puppy dog who follows everyone around.

[ProtestTheHero]

Totally agree with this. And theres always someone who has it better or worse.

 

And the only thing I really like about myself, are my eyelashes.

 

BY THE WAY, you seem very mature for being 17. Much more so than the 17 year old guys in my school. They're all immature and dumb. hehe.

 

Thanks. I'm way analytical, sometimes to my own downfall (trying to analyze women is like trying to split the atom with a roll of toilet paper and a tooth brush). Yeah, the only thing I've ever been complimented on are my eyes and teeth (guess braces paid off).

 

I'm not really in a stereotypical category either. In my own group I'm the clown, guess it depends who I'm around.

 

Maybe one day it will pay off and someone will like me , lol.

 

And yes, even at the risk of sounding like a sleezy, retarded 17 year old guy, I do agree that you have pretty eyes.

 

But I doubt your loner status is a result of your attitude towards others or your appearance. I know sometimes girls seem unapproachable until you start talking with them. As long as you don't look like you're about to bite someone's head off, I don't understand what the problem is. But then again, I won't pretend to be a social expert.

[HurleyBabe6917]

I definitely agree that women are hard to figure out. I can never figure out one of my friends.

 

I'm a clown too. I try to be funny.. usually I am. Most of the time I think I look/act like a total idiot, but it gets people laughing.

 

About the eyes, thanks. They're the only thing I like about me, well, beside being little.. as much as I hate, I love it.

 

I can see how I might look unapproachable. I've been told so many times "Smile, Girl!" or asked "What's wrong?" I guess I just always look either mad or unhappy for some reason. I think it's just my natural look though. But once you get to talking to me, I personally think you could really like me. Most people don't try though.

[AhypnoticSuggestion]

So you're cute, nice, and funny - and I can tell you're no dumby either. Hmm. I'm stumped. There must be something you're not mentioning! You have all the qualities most people would ever want in anyone. You did mention your low self-confidence though, which might radiate from you giving the wrong impression to a lot of people. How you view yourself is ussually a pretty good indication of how others view you. I guess. I hear that a lot so there must be some truth to it.

 

Best advice I can give you is try to view yourself as a better person. You seem like a really cool girl with a lovely personality and it's a shame that other people seem to avoid you as they do. So anyway, hope things get better for ya, keep your chin up.

[HurleyBabe6917]

So you're cute, nice, and funny - and I can tell you're no dumby either. Hmm. I'm stumped. There must be something you're not mentioning! You have all the qualities most people would ever want in anyone. You did mention your low self-confidence though, which might radiate from you giving the wrong impression to a lot of people. How you view yourself is ussually a pretty good indication of how others view you. I guess. I hear that a lot so there must be some truth to it.

 

Best advice I can give you is try to view yourself as a better person. You seem like a really cool girl with a lovely personality and it's a shame that other people seem to avoid you as they do. So anyway, hope things get better for ya, keep your chin up.

 

 

Aww thank you very much. I'm one of those people that are street smart not book smart. And I read a lot so I have a big vocabulary for my age. But I'm not really the "geeky book worm" type. I'm a "closet reader."

 

Yeah I do have low self confidence. I always have. I used to be so much uglier. Eww. I hate even thinking about it. I guess I'm just still stuck in the sense that I think I'm horribly ugly.

 

It is a big shame that people avoid me. I hate it. I don't bite.

[CharlesF]

Hurley,

 

Sometimes you have to make the effort. Ask other people to go out for a pop or whatever. It is allot of work sometimes because others don't make the effort, but you can always be the one to initiate things with your friends.

[HurleyBabe6917]

Hurley,

 

Sometimes you have to make the effort. Ask other people to go out for a pop or whatever. It is allot of work sometimes because others don't make the effort, but you can always be the one to initiate things with your friends.

 

Yes, that's true. I do ask sometimes. But I don't want to be the one that's always asking. And I feel that I will get to that point. As I've said before, I don't want to be the little puppy dog following everyone around.

[CharlesF]

I think it could be fun to be the one always asking. You will decide when and where your friends go. You can even see how many of your suggestions they will take. You won't be following, you will be leading.