something I've noticed about most of us

[boss429]

There is something that I have noticed with most of us here that we all seem to have in common. Why is it that when we get the urge to break NC we say that we want to text them? Why not actually call them? Is it fear of not knowing what to say verbally, or is it fear of being hung up on? I know for me it’s both.

 

I am guilty of breaking NC last week with a text message, of course only to be shot down with no reply. Please discuss.

[bigheart09]

boss429, what a great observation! If you text someone, at least you got to say what you wanted, and you know they read it. I think it is a way that we feel safer. I would rather get no answer from a text message than someone not picking up the phone.

[terk2021]

Although contact is contact, I think texting is less invasive. It's kind of like saying hello, asking a question, or just saying how we feel, but it gives them a chance to digest and choose to respond or not.

 

I am just as guilty with my ex. I text more than I call. We also used to text each other all the time during our relationship. That may make a difference too...

[confused25]

Although contact is contact, I think texting is less invasive. It's kind of like saying hello, asking a question, or just saying how we feel, but it gives them a chance to digest and choose to respond or not.

 

I am just as guilty with my ex. I text more than I call. We also used to text each other all the time during our relationship. That may make a difference too...

 

I agree with terk2021! I broke my NC by emailing my ex because I had too many things I wanted to say and it'd be hard to do it with texting.

[ImThatGirl]

boss429, what a great observation! If you text someone, at least you got to say what you wanted, and you know they read it. I think it is a way that we feel safer. I would rather get no answer from a text message than someone not picking up the phone.

 

I second this.

 

With a phone call, the risk of them not answering and us not being able to say what is on our mind is too much. A text message gets a point or thought accross and they can choose to respond or not.

[Beec]

Texting is also must less likely yo disclose your emotions. If you call and one can tell what you think and feel from what and how you say it, you are giving away more information.

[boss429]

boss429, what a great observation! If you text someone, at least you got to say what you wanted, and you know they read it. I think it is a way that we feel safer. I would rather get no answer from a text message than someone not picking up the phone.

 

But are they actually reading the text or are they deleting it before reading it.

[ImThatGirl]

But are they actually reading the text or are they deleting it before reading it.

 

 

Good question. But it's much less painful to have them possibly delete a text than ignore a phone call, no?

[bigheart09]

Yeah, but how many times do you get a text and not read it??

[elithepi]

One way I wooed my ex was by letters in the mail. She has no computer or cell phone. It was nice and old fashioned and I continued to write her letters. What do you guys think about contact through letters and forgetting all this instant gratification BS with emails and cell phones.

I do agree that texting is easier for the sender but then the thought of the ex rolling their eyes when they get it is a bummer.

Mail is nice, when was the last time you got a letter from a friend?

[need2bme]

With texting you can get everything out and not defend yourself or betray your feelings. You can write what you feel and then edit it, in case you missed something.

 

Also, who wants that dreaded panic feeling, when waiting on the phone, while you are actually hoping they don't answer?

[boss429]

 

That's exactly how I feel. As much as I want to hear her voice, what am I going to say if she actually answers? I only brought this up because I noticed most other people here are doing (or are thinking about doing) the texting thing like myself and was just curious as to what compells us. Has anyone here had a positive response to a text message? because I sure haven't.

[ImThatGirl]

I'll answer, I'll answer!

 

About 56 hours into my break up. Saturday morning split. By Sat night I sent text msgs and called. No response. Sunday couple calls and couple texts. No response.

 

So - If they have determined No Contact is the way to go, I don't think it makes a difference if we call or text.

[IntoTheFire]

I guess maybe it's the fear of awkwardness. Fear of rejection. I reckon that if you text someone you've broken up with, and they don't reply there's always the "oh, maybe they dont have their phone with them. Maybe it's not charged" thing, whereas if you call and they don't answer or they hang up, it's a very brutal rejection. Something, I, and most people aren't equipped to deal with.

 

I think it'd half kill me if someone hung up on me like that, so I gues people see it as not a risk worth taking.