What makes a relationship worth staying in and working for?

[Caterina]

Why is unrequited love so strong? You know with as much as we always want what we can't have, I think that if pain and suffering weren't so readily available and consistently present in our lives...we'd be dying to have it.

 

So many people are so unhappy in their relationships. They contend constantly with dissatisfaction...broken ideals and hurt. I have long asserted that its better to be free & single then in an unhappy relationship.

 

But, I also recognize that relationships aren't perfect...yes, they take a lot of work.

 

What makes a relationship worth staying in and working for?

 

The joy of deep intimacy, of someone to share with, the beauty of love.

 

What should break one?

 

Someone who constantly hurts you, cuts you down, and shows that he/she doesn't care.

 

Well, I know what doesn't break one. Having to compromise, having to solve conflicts, having to learn about yourself and having to change.

 

I talked with someone last night and he said something really sweet. He said, "I'd give up so much to have the excitement of having some disagreements...I'd be happy to find someone and disagree with them all the time."

[Dako]

Unrequited love carries few real responsibilies beyond fantasy.

It's perfect because there are no quarrels, tension or long talks about "us."

 

I enjoyed long relationships because of the various plateaus in the commitment, up until it explodes into a chrysanthemum of despair.

 

Ooooh! Aaah!

[silentalways]

I talked with someone last night and he said something really sweet. He said, "I'd give up so much to have the excitement of having some disagreements...I'd be happy to find someone and disagree with them all the time."

 

gawd, that is a great one! i agree. i am a relationship kinda guy. it's nice coming home to someone and having that place be yer oasis.

[RayKay]

Well, I would not give up so much to face disagreements all the time as I think if you were always disagreeing there may be just be something off, and eventually it will wear on you both...but....

 

For me it ultimately is about my relationship with my partner just feeling like "home". What makes it worth it is being in it together and knowing you are in it together. It is worth the hard times now and then because there is an equal commitment and effort, there is mutual support and respect. You stay because you both make that choice everyday to be there, with each other.

 

As for unrequited love...well I think it is "strong" because there is nothing to break the image of what we believe it would be in our head/mind...or sometimes we fall more for what we believe, than what is the reality in other words.

[silentalways]

At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of...

 

i love this quote too rk.

 

i agree with what u said as well. i would only add this regarding: unrequited love

 

i think the more ways we view this concept and the more ways we use it and hold it dear [dreaming in yer mind, showing thru actions and words, etc.] - the better. who says we can only 'look' at things like that one way. i like the fact that i can 'imagine' that as is motivates and migrates from mind, heart and soul over to concrete behaviours and traits of care, kindness and love.

 

sorry that was mushy. i'll behave now!

[Caterina]

For me it ultimately is about my relationship with my partner just feeling like "home".

 

Thats really beautifully put.

 

As far as disagreements...I agree, too many is too many. More context: I said I was lonely, but I didn't want to have to deal with constantly compromising and he said that its normal to have a little bit of conflict...that it sometimes makes things more interesting.

[mikeca]

just that feeling you get, from giving your love to someone and having them return it...you can feel so powerful in those moments