Are you a victim....

[fireserpant]

It seems like not only one of the oldest but one of the biggest fads on the internet; creating false profiles.

 

Usually I am pretty warey of fake profiles, I generally look for the main watch points to see if it is a fake:

 

1. The photographs are too polished

2. The descriptions are vague

3. The photographs resemble magazine scans

 

The biggest one...

 

4. You recognise the celebrity used on the picture.

 

I browse a lot through myspace (I don't use it for dating), link removed, okcupid, friendfinder and a few others so I generally know how to spot a fake. This week however I was, for lack of a better word, devastated, when I fell victim to a fake profile.

 

I was looking on link removed to see if there was anyone interesting from my area, I found a few people that matched up to me so I struck up some conversations. I was talking to 3 guys in total, two of them seemed nice, but not interested, but were happy to just chat anyway, the third guy was very friendly and very interested in talking to me.

 

According to his profile, he was a performing arts teacher at a local comprehensive college, he even named it, he talked about being a keen jogger, as their are quite a few in the town which he said he was from, and was wanting someone nice he could spend time with and go jogging with. We discussed interests, what working as a teacher was like and were getting on very well.

 

It went so far as arranging to meet up for a drink in the local pub, I arrived a little early as I was a bit nervous then got a text on my mobile saying he was very sorry but he couldn't come, at the last minute he had got a call from one of his workmates and he was needed at the school. I thought this was fair enough and said we could make it another day.

 

Last night I got another text asking if I would like to meet up again soon, I agreed, however this morning I sent him a text telling him thanks but no thanks and not to ring me again.

 

Why?

 

Because as I was randomly looking through wikipedia, I came accross the person he had been using for his display pictures.

 

image removed

 

 

image removed

 

These were the two images he was using on his link removed profile, and you can imagine my shock and to be honest, utter dismay when they came up on a google image search. It seems 'Mark' although I doubt that was his real name, was using pictures of an actor called Boris Kodjoe.

 

Why did I fall for this? Possibly because I have never seen anything that he has starred in, also the pictures he selected seemed very much just like candid regular pictures. I admit, I was a fool, I even had to go smoke two cigerettes to calm down.

 

(At this point I just need to point out it's 8.15 am here in England so this is all a bit early in the morning for me.)

 

I notified link removed about his profile, I have yet to hear anything from 'mark.'

 

 

So, I'll ask everyone else, has anyone else ever fallen victim to this game people like to play? Has anyone ever done it themselves? I have to tell you, after this I feel like a complete idiot, I feel betrayed, I feel devastated.

 

I get annoyed when I see people on myspace pretending to be Kiera Knightley or Tom Felton, now I'm just very angry about the whole thing.

 

Once I had assumed that link removed was a fairly safe arena for people to talk and meet other people, I'm pretty much ready to sign off the whole online dating thing now.

[musicguy]

oh yeah I've seen a lot of fake profile or model profiles

[Goldfish6888]

I have never truly met anyone genuine from dating websites. Although I consider myself genuine and I AM ON THERE. I also received an email through myspace. This man had shots that looked like magazine shots, but when I asked him for other pictures - they all looked blurry. I instantly discontinued the relationship.

I would email him and say you noticed he is using false pictures and that you would prefer someone who is honest in their profile. You are here to meet someone genuine and not someone who uses this for fun or to pretend. Then cut the contact. You might feel better for venting with him.

 

Also if you are meeting someone from a dating website - always, always meet in a public place and don't go anywhere with him on your own - until you really have got to know him!

 

I do believe you can meet someone online but its a number game and for every 100 people, you might be 10 genuines....so just hang in there! And don't forget the old fashioned way...of walking the dog...or chatting in a super market etc......

 

Good Luck!!

[fireserpant]

Yeah, if he calls me I intend to go ape- on him for being such a .

 

unfortunately the only genuine people I get talking to seem to be 30-40 years older than me and it;s usually me just telling them, thank you very much but your older than my grandad so your not what I'm looking for. Or their pretentious as hell because they think that I should privelleged because they spoke to me. I swear the guys from my area need a serious head check.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Dont worry my profile is 100% real, I really am 5" tall and made of clay

 

so you see we are not all liers

[shes2smart]

I had a similar experience...although it was pre-Internet, so it was through newspaper personals.

 

This guy had answered an ad I had in, we exchanged a couple letters and phone calls and agreed to meet. Swapped descriptions so we'd know each other when we arrived at the restaurant.

 

The first words out of his mouth upon seeing me were, "Wow! You look exactly like you said you look!" Which I thought was odd and worth commenting on.

 

Turns out the last few gals he'd met who weren't quite truthful in their self-descriptions. I said that I didn't understand why someone would do that. He said one of those gals asked him if she had told him the truth -- that she was short and very fat, would he have bothered going to meet her at all? She didn't seem to get that telling someone you were a tall, willowy blonde just to get them to meet you automatically made you a liar when they did actually meet you....and how many folks are going to willingly want to get involved with a liar?

 

In any event, there's maybe a small insight into the mind of someone who claimed to be something they weren't. The guy you were going to meet probably cancelled because he knew he was going to be exposed for the liar he is if he met you f2f.

 

Be glad he didn't waste any more of your time than he did. It's sad that his mindset is such that "borrowing" picutres of a good-looking guy and saying it's a pic of him is an okay thing to do.

[jengh]

This happened to me fall of last year. I had been talking to this super nice, super friendly guy I'd met online. We got along great and agreed to meet. He sent me pictures that looked SO real because the guy in the photo wasn't gorgeous, just your average guy, neither ugly nor sexy (he must've stolen them from another profile). Anyways, we met at a restraunt, I got there first.. He came to the table and was many inches shorter than the profile/picture claimed him to be and was about 200lbs heavier... I was angry that he lied to me, but I figured since I was there, i might as well get a meal out of it.. He was the most obnoxious, unintelligent man I have ever met. THEN, he had the nerve to ask me out again. HAH

 

 

On a brighter note, though... my boyfriend of 8 months and I met online and he is everything + so so so much more than he claimed to be. In fact, I can see myself spending a very long time with him, if not forever. So, i guess you just have to keep trying.

[Corvette]

that's what sign pics are for

[Alea]

Webcams are great to use, and these days, most people have them. They can be found in their lesser incarnations for around $20, and it really eliminates the fake picture problem.

[dani_katze]

fireserpant,

I can relate to what happened to you too.

 

I have a large experiences meetings guys after chatting with them. First, when all this was new for me, I was too nave, so I met a lot of weirdos. After meeting them, I found out their lies. Of course I used to feel like a fool and used. But now I conclude that the problem of liers are from them. We just have to be more careful, but there are always some liers and sometimes it's not easy to catch them. Even meeting people in reality, they also lie.

 

I got sick with internet, using this as a tool to meet someone. So I quit and don't look there anymore. But that's just the way I feel about that and my experiences. In the other hand, my brother met his girlfriend from 3 years on internet... luck or what? I don't know.