Perfectionism

[Lily04]

I just realized that the problem with submitting work late for me was really perfectionism...I thought it was mostly ADD, OCD, etc. but honestly it wasn't... I just read one of my friend's papers which will likely get an A- but saw so many flaws in it it propelled me to start writing and within the past hour wrote around 3 pages.

 

If I honestly tell my prof. the reason why the paper was so late (27 days) was because I felt so paralyzed since I'm an utter perfectionist and it was a difficult topic... does this sound BS? I'm not sure it's justified... I think it may also be a lot of anxiety & perhaps even my learning disabiltiy that contributed, but... I was at the point probably 2 weeks ago where I could haev started writing and just handed it in, but I couldn't even start because I was paralyzed...I spent all weekend (probably 10 hours) staring at the computer, or reading more, thinking I had to keep learning and accumulating more knowledge when I really already had everything I needed... I just didn't know (1) how to organize it (this is how my LD may kick in, as it affects one's conceptual organization) and (2) if what I had was anything meaningful or meaningful enough to start a paper. I was constantly questioning myself.

 

I was just paralyzed.

[Ash]

Sometimes it's easier to get things started if you realize the effort involved in creating a perfect paper (or perfect anything) is quite not often worth the end result. I think of it as an application of the 80/20 rule, which says basically things like it takes 20% of the time to do 80% of the job. Or put another way, to finish the last 20% will take 80% of the effort. It's just a rule of thumb, but in general what I'm getting at is that it takes an increasingly larger effort to get things closer to perfection.

 

The issue is knowing when 80% is good enough, or 90% or whatever. Perfection doesn't do much good if you don't actually achieve it because you never get started.

 

So, what I do is dive into a project knowing the I don't know all that I need to know, but with the knowledge that at least I'll get it mostly done. Then, at the end, if there's time for improvements, they'll come more slowly, and be a smaller percentage of the whole, but at least those improvements can be done with the knowledge that the bulk of the task is already done. I find in generaly it's much easier.

[easyguy]

I'll respond with a little anecdote.

 

I've recorded in a professional recording studio a few times with different groups, and it is easy to be overly-critical when you hear yourself on playback. You put an effort into doing something well, and you are not pleased with the results even though you sound great from the listener's standpoint. So you try again, and again, and eventually start going downhill.

 

But over time, you start to forget about all that. You just relax and do what you have to do. You don't worry so much. Just let it go. Take the risk. Just let it flow, make the major edits if there are any, and move on. Most people are not going to notice the subtlies that you typically exagerate as being a major problem. The listeners' ears are and will always be less discriminate than yours.

 

Perhaps you can find a way to translate that example into your own situation.

[annie24]

it does sound like you have some anxiety or fear of imperfection. but I still think your excuse is BS and isn't going to fly. These excuses aren't going to work in the real world. If you have a company, and promise to have something done on whatever day, and if it's not in, then you are out of a contract and can get sued! If you are baking a wedding cake for someone, isn't it better to give them a 90% perfect cake on the day of the wedding, than a 100% perfect cake the day AFTER the wedding? Don't you think some people would be MIGHTY pissed off if you were late? you'd be out of your business!

 

I think this is a bad habit lily and you NEED to break it before you go out in the real world. I think you just need to sit down, and get your stuff done. I try to worry about getting a paper just 80% perfect first, well in advance of the due date, then I worry about getting the last 20% in the week or two before it is due. At least I have something to turn in, right now, even if it isn't polished.

[caro33]

Hear hear, I completely agree. No one out there truly cares about other people's internal conflicts when promises are made, they just note that they were let down and that the person talking about their perfectionism can't be relied upon. Family and friends will cut you some slack, but even that comes to an end.

 

I think that being compelled to creating the best possible outcome means looking at more than the document to hand in itself, but also working to ensure you don't let down the people you committed to. So when I was a perfectionist student I freaked out, got paralysed, then still went feral at the library weeks ahead to make sure I knew EVERYTHING about the topic, then I handed my essay in days ahead. I proof read it many times to make sure there were no embarrassing typos. Very very nerdy but there you go.

 

I found that the only thing that helped me get past my need to know it all and never start was plotting out the basic skeleton of the document and then populating it from there. Stopping collecting when I realised there was no time to draft what I had - keeping a timeline. Collecting endless information and not doing anything with it becomes in itself a terrifying prospect because then you have 1000 pages of 'stuff' and no way to organise it.

 

So it does sound more like your organisational skills might need some fine tuning, for all the reasons you gave in your post. I think your best solution with the professor is to admit to some paralysis on how to move forward, and that you have struggled to get past that. That you are really interested in the topic at hand, inspired by the sheer amount of information. You are working on your skills to manage the organisation issue for the future, and would appreciate he/she cut you some slack for now. You should maybe offer to hand in a skeleton view of your piece so he/she knows you're serious, but also to help you commit to planning out what you are going to provide.

[annie24]

good point caro. I have fallen into that trap too, having thousands of pages read, but didn't organize my thoughts, and boy is that a big mistake! definitely, start with an outline, very basic, turn that into rudimentary sentences, just get the ideas down on the page, expand upon that. on the final drafts, THEN check for grammar, spelling, flow, perfection.

[Lily04]

You should maybe offer to hand in a skeleton view of your piece so he/she knows you're serious, but also to help you commit to planning out what you are going to provide.

 

Thanks... I can't respond to everything now (as I have a million things due for tomorrow!) but I just wanted to note that as this is now 28 days late.....I can't just hand in a 'skeleton.' It likely has to be done for tomorrow's class or else I'm dead.

[caro33]

Well stop looking here and get on to it! No, seriously, good luck and I hope it goes well for you.