Where can I meet nice, decent, single men?

[Twilight777]

I don't want to go to a bar or a nightclub. Where else can I meet men my age?

[LostInMyThoughts]

What do you like doing?

 

Church, coffee shop, volunteering, library, on the job, anywhere.

 

You can try the internet also.

[Beec]

ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE. Simpler said than done right? But your best bets are to go where men are in abundance and women are not.

 

Take up golf, and you will get checked out all the time by the men at the driving range and golf course. Go to a gym and use the area with free weights.

 

You might think you are hot and yucky, men will just think you are hot.

Guys who are looking to hit on women are in the yoga and aerobics classes. Women that want to get hit on should head for the free weights. You could also take up a martial art, begin to bicycle and join a cycling club, etc., etc.

 

Men bond by doing things together, go to where some men are doing things and bond with them.

[ForAnother]

Beec, that is a really good point. I'd highly recommend what he has suggested.

 

Sure guys like to congregate at the local bar. But the honesty is thrown out the window in bar scenes... thats why golf courses/gyms are more honest scenes because you must be a member... thus holds you more liable for the things you do. Honesty is the biggest thing in finding a partner.

 

-ForAnother

[need2bme]

You might think you are hot and yucky, men will just think you are hot.

 

Very true. I would have given some kind of sappy how to talk to us advice. I like your advice about going where the men are...

[Twilight777]

At my gym (in Hollywood), all the guys are 1 of the following:

1. Conceited and vain

2. Gay

3. Too old

4. Doesn't speak English (I'm not a racist, I'm a mix myself, I'm just being honest)

 

I'm not trying to stereotype or be rude, but I've been going to the gym for YEARS and there's not one guy that I've come accross that doesn't fit one of the above. I'd prefer to meet a guy that doesn't live in Hollywood or the general vicinity.

 

I've tried the internet thing to no avail. And all the guys at church are either too young or too old....I honestly don't know where the guys that are in their mid 20's are but they're definitely not at my church.

 

I may take up martial arts at your suggestion...that does sound like fun. Golf, I don't think I'd enjoy it too much. I've been to the driving range and had fun for about 15 minutes and then got bored.

 

Where else do men go? Where do men go to meet women (other than aerobics)? Just wondering.

[healinginnyc81]

What are you looking for in a guy?

 

(Besides not conceited or vain, straight, not too old, and speaks English)

 

Like what do you look for physically, what interests do you hope to share, etc?

[Twilight777]

What are you looking for in a guy?

 

(Besides not conceited or vain, straight, not too old, and speaks English)

 

Like what do you look for physically, what interests do you hope to share, etc?

 

 

Physically most of my exes were all about 5'10" to 6'1" and around 190lbs. But that's just stating my track record, I'm honestly open to any body shapes and sizes, it's the whole package that counts with me (i.e., I think Doug from King of Queens is on the larger side, but I have a huge crush on him because he's so funny). Some of the interests I have I wouldn't necessarily want a guy to have. I love dance (been dancing since I was a kid), but I don't need to date a guy that can dance (definitely not if they do ballet). I like to read and read EVERY night before I go to bed, but that doesn't mean I necessarily NEED my S/O to do that. There are some TV shows that I'm addicted to, but again he doesn't need to watch them with me (although my ex ALWAYS watched Desperate Housewives with me and pretended to like it I think he just thought Eva Longoria was hot ).

 

Anyway, the only thing that I would be really concerned about that the guy needed to have is an interest in having a family one day. Being apart (hopefully the leader) of a family unit. Someone who's going to be faithful and honest and loyal. Someone who knows what commitment is.

 

Okay, am I rambling or what? But basically yeah that's it. So now, where do I meet someone like that...and please don't say church, I can't even begin to tell you how many wannabe "players" there are in the church I attend.

[Cardinal]

What about professional interests? There are many single men out there who are in business, or who work in places you frequent? Many of the places mentioned are places that are casual places where people pursue hobbies or relax or whatever. Try the opposite too. Keep in mind many men spend much of their time working. Try going to where they work. I have never minded seeing an attractive lady come in to visit while I work. A little flirting was always a welcome addition to my day as well. So consider that possibility.

 

Find a guy you like who looks bored working and go have a long conversation with him. This works pretty much anywhere.

[Aurian]

Not having much luck either. Yoga? Nope, only one guy in his 50s dragged in by his wife. Tae-bo and taekwon-do? No guys in the first, all under 12 in the second. Weight lifting. All girls again. Art classes? Sorry, I'm not into guys old enough to be my grandfather. Golf? Nope, all coupled up.

 

Where are they all hiding? *lifts up a rock and looks under it*

[Twilight777]

What about professional interests? There are many single men out there who are in business, or who work in places you frequent? Many of the places mentioned are places that are casual places where people pursue hobbies or relax or whatever. Try the opposite too. Keep in mind many men spend much of their time working. Try going to where they work. I have never minded seeing an attractive lady come in to visit while I work. A little flirting was always a welcome addition to my day as well. So consider that possibility.

 

Find a guy you like who looks bored working and go have a long conversation with him. This works pretty much anywhere.

 

The funny thing is that when I try to talk to a guy (doesn't necessarily mean I want to hook-up, sometimes it's just because I'm bored), they kinda brush me off, but when I ignore them and act completely uninterested in what they're saying they wanna talk? What's up with that? I'm so sick of games. Why do guys do this? I honestly, have not had a long conversation with a guy in YEARS (not since high school in fact)...and it made me question myself for a while. I'm not ugly so I don't think that's the reason for it. I'm not someone who just yaps and yaps...I like to ask questions. But I think that's about the time that the guy starts being uninterested, when I keep the conversation going by asking questions...but then how the heck am I supposed to keep the conversation going? Am I supposed to tell stories about myself?

 

I'm just thinking out loud here. What are your thoughts?

[Twilight777]

Not having much luck either. Yoga? Nope, only one guy in his 50s dragged in by his wife. Tae-bo and taekwon-do? No guys in the first, all under 12 in the second. Weight lifting. All girls again. Art classes? Sorry, I'm not into guys old enough to be my grandfather. Golf? Nope, all coupled up.

 

Where are they all hiding? *lifts up a rock and looks under it*

 

 

That's funny, I also tried Yoga and different aerobics and didn't find any guys. Where are they?!

[Beec]

That's funny, I also tried Yoga and different aerobics and didn't find any guys. Where are they?!

 

Not having much luck either. Yoga? Nope, only one guy in his 50s dragged in by his wife. Tae-bo and taekwon-do? No guys in the first, all under 12 in the second. Weight lifting. All girls again. Art classes? Sorry, I'm not into guys old enough to be my grandfather. Golf? Nope, all coupled up.

 

Where are they all hiding? *lifts up a rock and looks under it*

 

I have a tough time believing there were no single guys near a golf course. A class on golf, maybe. If you made one trip to a golf course, then again, maybe. But if you took up golf and played it, you will run into single men at the course, range, etc. If you want to meet the guys, get another woman, learn how to make a tee time, take you bags, and the two of you play with whoever shows up. If they are fun, enjoy the round, talk, have fun, and have a beer with them afterward. I've met friends by doing that and some of us were single and we played together again.

 

Classes on yoga, tae-bo, etc. I can see being devoid of guys. But if you are working out by yourself in a real gym with free weights, there should be guys. Why not tour gyms until you find one with some guys in it working out?

[LostInMyThoughts]

Men go to bars, clubs, internet, and dating services to meet women.

 

The problem is, those aren't necessarily the guys you want to meet.

 

You have to meet them outside the bars and clubs (trust me on this one).

 

I agree that the gym is a bad place to meet women (or to meet guys).

 

Don't try so hard to meet guys, just let it happen.

[paulm]

Blah blah blah!

 

I'm the coolest, best looking guy I know. I'm straight forward, professional career, homeowner, and maybe consider a family someday.

 

Guess what? I love going to bars!

 

If you go to a bar, look for something on the upscale side. A place that isn't blaring the latest hip-hop crap. Bring friends. Go with zero expectations, look for the guys who are just having a good time. Don't bother with the "prowler" creeps who use the phony pickup lines and are out to find someone to go home with, etc etc.

 

If you've been successful with the sort of standards you posted above, then guys will be flocking to you for attention. Or at least some free dinners.

 

Someone said that 'honesty is out the window' in bars - well I'd say you're going to get even more fakeness/desperation in the places "where men go to meet women without it being obvious." Bars its obvious - some are there to hook up, some are there to drink, some are there to have a good time on a saturday night. If you meet some guy who's doing an activity because he wants to meet women - how fake is that? Now if you met some dude in yoga class who really is into yoga, that's great. But what are the odds?

 

My 2 bits.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Blah blah blah!

 

I'm the coolest, best looking guy I know. I'm straight forward, professional career, homeowner, and maybe consider a family someday.

 

Guess what? I love going to bars!

 

People who go to bars aren't necessarily bad people. But it's a game of percentages.

 

How is the OP going to spot you out from all the other guys at the bars?

 

I wonder how many people at the bars are alcoholics? And just because you frequent an upscale bar, doesn't mean it ain't full of them.

 

Can you tell an alcoholic apart from a non-alcoholic? I know I can't.

 

Why would you want to risk playing russian roulette with alcoholism.

 

At least with Yoga, you're playing russian roulette with a person who might genuinely care about his health.

 

I know not everyone who goes to the bar's has a drinking problem. But I bet you'll find more alcoholics at a bar than you will in a library.

 

When I go to the bar, I don't ever considering picking up the girls there. Who knows if they went home with someone earlier that night, or if they are a good girl.

 

You want to find quality people, do quality things.

[need2bme]

Originally Posted by Aurian

Not having much luck either. Yoga? Nope, only one guy in his 50s dragged in by his wife. Tae-bo and taekwon-do? No guys in the first, all under 12 in the second. Weight lifting. All girls again. Art classes? Sorry, I'm not into guys old enough to be my grandfather. Golf? Nope, all coupled up.

 

Where are they all hiding? *lifts up a rock and looks under it*

 

That is funny. Hey, Tae Bo looks like it would kick my !

 

I know there have to be good, funny guys somewhere. I know there are some here. There have to be some around you somewhere.

[Survictor]

Check out a supermarket and smile at guys with meals for one in their basket and say something like, "Oh, I had that last night. It was quite nice."

 

Well, it's worth a shot because I doubt if he's hiding under your rock!

[healinginnyc81]

maybe we should start a dating service post on Enotalone

 

[Belle]

Try tennis. I've met a cajillion men through tennis. Even more at poker. However, I've found a shady element to many of the men at poker so I'm back to tennis.