Her bday is tommorow..txt?

[smiles21]

Well the dreaded day, the ex's bday is tomorrow. I initiated NC 3 weeks ago and have held it since. She has not tried to contact me. We dated for 4 years, shes going to be 21, im 23. We were broken up last year for my bday and i got nothing.. i feel I need to do the same. I only fear is that i may go downtown tonight and she might go out for her 21st, and i really dont want to see her.

 

I dont think I should email/text or anything.. if you search my previous posts you can find more on the drama that is this story.. Advice?

[southerngirl]

No, dont contact her. You initiated no contact for a reason, stick to that.

[Survictor]

I would leave it.

[nadine_3110]

Be strong and resist the urge to text her. She probably didn't do so on your bday, so it's only fair to not do the same on hers.

[desertnomad]

In this case if it was me I wouldnt say anything, as hard as that would be...

[friscodj]

Text who? There is nobody to text. The person you are referring to is a source of memories, memories of the past. She is gone.

[smiles21]

Yea I think I agree, she really screwed up my life by saying * * * * to my friends that really wasn't true, and they sided with her because she's a girl.. and i think one of them likes her.

 

It's a real screwed up situation, she really backstabbed me.

[Hope75]

This doesn't sound like someone you should be sending ANY messages to.

 

Let sleeping dogs lie. You are over for a reason.

[stunned]

I agree that you should keep up the NC. If you don't, you may regret it.

 

I broke 1 week of NC on Thanksgiving and now am upset that my ex is ignoring my email to her. I won't make that mistake again, even though my birthday is in a week and I'd love to know that she's okay. I've got major cabin fever which is making me pine for her even more. We're in the middle of an awful winter storm that's to continue through Monday. I keep jumping up and going to shovel snow, bring in wood, just get the dogs out to play. None of it's taking my mind off her and the fact that she doesn't seem to miss me and our life together. I really hope this storm ends on Monday and that the roads are drivable on Tuesday. I feel almost as bad as I did the day she left in secret, which will be 2 weeks this coming Tuesday. I need to be able to get out of this house. Now if the weather will just cooperate.

[Relationship Coach]

I wouldn't break wind for her if it would save her life much less NC! I've followed your drama since the start, you owe her nothing and you will not benefit in any way by wishing her a happy b-day. Move on, look what she has cost you, you are not healing because you are still thinking some day you will get back with her. Well take a hint from her actions, she has not even tried to contact you in the past 3 weeks and I don't think it is because she is respecting your request for NO, your smart enough to figure out what is going on.

 

RC

[smiles21]

Yea your right she has cost me everything, we broke up before same * * * * happened i held NC for 3 months, then BAM out of nowhere a text from her. Aparently she saw me in the mall with another girl, go figure.

 

Only thing I fear is she is gonna go downtown tonight as it is her birthday tomorrow and shes turning 21.. I feel like I should not go out in fear of running into her.

 

I'm having trouble moving on, but me laying it on the line and letting her know how I felt was better than being strung along as she wanted to "make her fall back in love" pffft..

[Relationship Coach]

Unless you are in Mayberry goober I think you can avoid her and still go out and have fun somewhere other than where she frequents. What is your fear, that you'll see her with someone else? It's over and maybe you need to see that it's over! Do you think she is sitting around wondering if she should change her plans so she doesn't accidentally run in to you? NO! Go out and have some fun, she's turning 21, she'll be riding the porcelain bus by 2 am, for get about her.

 

RC

[smiles21]

Unless you are in Mayberry goober I think you can avoid her and still go out and have fun somewhere other than where she frequents. What is your fear, that you'll see her with someone else? It's over and maybe you need to see that it's over! Do you think she is sitting around wondering if she should change her plans so she doesn't accidentally run in to you? NO! Go out and have some fun, she's turning 21, she'll be riding the porcelain bus by 2 am, for get about her.

 

RC

 

Thanks RC I needed that, I really dont want to see, hear from her, or even think about her. I want her out of my mind completely... thats why I dont check her myspace, aol im, or anything.. I dont want to know what she is doing.. Is this normal ?

[Relationship Coach]

Normal? No, but it's the best thing to do and feel. Keeping tabs can only make things worse in every way. Just focus on you and what makes you happy, you'll make it through this. Occupy your mind with more practical thoughts such as, "what is the square root of 973,847" and "why do men have nipples?"

 

RC

[smiles21]

Yea..its now Sunday, November 26.. she is 21..

[TornTattered]

man. all i got to say is if she cant say happy birthday to you, why should u her?

[smiles21]

I agree, i really do. I'm not going to text her, I was just dreading this day coming.. It really is a special day, but holding these 3+ weeks of NC has been unbearable.

[Hope75]

Just focus your energies on wishing me a happy birthday instead. I'm 31 today.

 

The important thing is to keep yourself busy today, even leave your cell phone off so you won't be tempted. Live today like recovered alcoholics do- one hour at a time. That's all you have to do.

[desertnomad]

Happy Birthday Hope 8)

[stunned]

Happy Birthday, Hope! I hope you're having a wonderful day and are pampering yourself. Do something fun!

 

My bday is on Friday. I've got to make a point of doing something fun. I hope it's a sunny day, too.

[hjc]

Do NOT contact her on her birthday. Just let it go....silence is much, much more powerful than contact.

[Captain34]

hmmm

 

i'd say write a brief email with a happy birthday and then send it to yourself. if by chance down the road the fact taht not contacting her becomes an issue, then you've always got that email.

 

but i wouldnt even worry about that. dont contact her and jst have a good time. 3 weeks is a very good start to NC and its just before it starts to get easier.

[smiles21]

Thanks for all the advice, I dont know what I would do without you guys. Its her birthday, and I need to find ways to get it out of my head. She obviously is moving on as she hasn't even attempted tocontact me in 3 weeks, but she is good at hiding her feelings. Im still really bitter about the friends I lost because of the * * * * she said to them that wasn't even true. Somehow they believed her, I think its because they are guys and they want to get with her.

 

Shady friends I had I suppose.

 

 

 

Oh, and Happy birthday Hope!

[poetsheart]

I had the same situation not long ago, I posted here about to text or not, and I decided on staying with nc, and I'm so glad I did. It would have set me back if I had, and 6 months later still going strong with nc.

[friscodj]

Im still really bitter about the friends I lost because of the * * * * she said to them that wasn't even true.

 

This person doesn't sound like someone I would want as a friend let alone a girlfriend.

 

Her birthday will be your Independence Day. If you can survive this day, you can survive any.