Wht Are The Rules For Giving Space?

[kissfrk101]

Well until I hear from her I am moving on but the not knowing is keeping me guessing. I'm afraid my obsession with this guy has stopped me from seeing the truth which is what she is telling me. I'm sure she isn't going to end her friendship with this guy for me not knowing if things are going to work out at least this early in the relationship. Why lose us both? Need to just be patient & see how it plays out I guess! I can't understand why she would try this hard to decieve me if that is in fact what she is doing?

[Survictor]

Try reading all the posts again and trying to see things objectively if you can.

[kissfrk101]

Oh I do see things but I'm thinking with my heart not my head at this moment. last night I was using my head. The longer the no contact the better I'll be. She just needs to figure out what she wants & I need to stop judging her. I'm sure she has very good reasons for her actions which only she understands. I've been very good to her except for my pressing to find whatever the truth is. I need to show her I love by letting her deal with whatever her issues are & hopefully she'll come back to me if not well life goes on. She needs to be happy before she can make me or anyone else happy.

[need2bme]

Hey Mike, I am in Cali, so maybe we are.

 

KissFrk: As far as space goes. I don't know what else you could do. Quite frankly, if she is involved with someone else, I know for me that it would be the straw that broke the camels back.

 

I am not sure how others think, so you have to so what you feel in your heart. We all want to feel wanted, but not at the expense of your sanity.

 

Now I am sure that with my current sitch, I must have asked too many questions, joked or teased too much or said the wrong thing. Unfortunately I will never know. My friend says I did nothing wrong, that this is on her.

 

She chose to back off so she needs the space. I am giving her the space, because I care about her and want her to know that.

[kissfrk101]

I agree with everybody space is the way to go & I haven't spoke to her in 7 days & I'm ok with it. It's the constant flury of scenerio's going through my head of what the true problem is that I'm dealing with right now. Won't know the answer until she calls but I will if she doesn't. Stay strong & play the waiting game is my plan, I'll keep all you nice people with great advice posted. Thanks!!!

[need2bme]

It's the constant flury of scenerio's going through my head

 

I hear ya. We all want to know what it is we could have done different. The trick now is to get on with your life. I am going to get out and do something, as soon as I get home. I want to get to know her, but I can't.

 

So, it is time to get out and have some fun.

[inthecorner]

wow this story sounds like me.

 

Trust me if the interest level drops to much. Run Run, run for the hills. N never look back. Get on with your own life again. Concentrate on you. Improve on your self, 4 u. If you still want her, she may come back to you. Being a hopeless mess, like you can't live without her will send her running. Similar stories and examples of this are way 2 common the result 9 times out of 10 is the same. The man chases, chases n chases. Keeps on declaring his love. Its not attractive. RELATIONSHIP ENDS man keeps declaring love. She runs further.

[kissfrk101]

She knows how I feel about her & left it that 7 days ago, the ball is in her court now & I've got it in my head she's not coming back rather than sit around waiting. All the issues are her problem & how she has conducted herself, I've been rolling with the punches. Talk is cheap & I fell for the sales pitch, now I'm seeing the reality of who she is. If she wants to piss her life away on some fantasy with this guy that's her problem, not mine. She's going to have too make some changes to get me back. Tough talk eh! we'll see what happens.

[papalazarou]

She knows how I feel about her & left it that 7 days ago, the ball is in her court now & I've got it in my head she's not coming back rather than sit around waiting. All the issues are her problem & how she has conducted herself, I've been rolling with the punches. Talk is cheap & I fell for the sales pitch, now I'm seeing the reality of who she is. If she wants to piss her life away on some fantasy with this guy that's her problem, not mine. She's going to have too make some changes to get me back. Tough talk eh! we'll see what happens.

 

 

Thats the spirit!

[kissfrk101]

I had an important doctors appointment today should I take it as a real bad sign if she doesn't call to see how I made out? She's gone with me to all my appointments in the past. She also had an appointment should I drop her a quick line or no. Were not in NC just she needed some space to sort her head out. Like I said i haven't talk to her in 7 days & it would be a short e-mail. Advice Please!!!

[need2bme]

kissfrk: I say, if she does not call, DON'T CARE! I know how ya feel. I was just thinking that my BDay is coming up and I wonder what will happen. Ya know what?

 

What I want is what will happen. I am going to hang out with my friends and do my own thing. The more I thought about it, the madder I got. At me!

 

What does it matter? Sure I would like to spend my time with her, but I am refusing to let her control this so much, that I cannot even care about her. So much that I cannot even see her or try to care for her.

 

No, if she does not want to see you in your time of need, FORGET HER!

 

If my SO or whatever she is, does not want anything to do with me, FINE! She can chalk it up to whatever BS makes her feel better. She can chalk it up to also playing with peoples emotions and that is not what I or you need.

 

It is not something you should want! Good luck with the doctor and let me know how it goes.

[need2bme]

Please don't call her!!

[mikeca]

Gym and Books will help my friend, Gym and books

[kissfrk101]

HAPPY UPDATE, She did call & in the seven days of no contact she was more stressed than I was. We talked, I kept the conversation lite & upbeat avoided the issues. She finally brought up the problems we were having, within a 1/2 hr we had the hugh miscommunication we had going on figured out & what we were going to do to not fall into this problem again. The holding out respecting her feelings for space really paid off. Thank You to everybody for the advice & keeping me busy with the nice replies. Hopefully everybody's relationship problems will work themselves out & no contact is a big help. Good Luck to everyone I'll try to keep you posted over the next little while. Wait & see how this plays out.

[husk]

ok i have been giving my girlfriend all the space she needs it has been a month so just how long do you give them ? are the one they want space from suppose to just set around for months and hear nothing from them at all?

[papalazarou]

Without going in details, I'm here for advice, who should i take the advice from?

 

expert or just anyboby

 

 

Anything that you think you could work with.

 

Personally if someone asks for space they are reconsidering the relationship. You never ask for space when you are happy.

 

thereforeeee as others have said I would start to develop some interests outside your relationship - hobbies, sport, catch up with bufddies, family etc etc It will also keep your mind active.

 

If she wants you back great and you have some interests, if no then you will have rebuilt your social circle and wont feel quite so alone.