Paedophiles?

[patch2006uk]

There's alot of talk in the UK at the moment about how to classify someone as a 'paedophile'.

 

There's been talk of imposing limits of a 7 year age gap for under 21s, so a 17year old couldn't legally date anyone over 24. Likewise a 20 year old couldn't date a 27 year old. Is a 17 year old still a 'child', and would anyone aged over 24 and in a relationship with a 17 year old still a paedophile?

 

There's also been a blurring of the line around what age a girl can legally have sex, so for example, 15 year old girl and 17 year old boy would be ok, but 15 year old girl and 18 year old boy wouldn't be ok, and the boy could theoretically be charged with paedophilia and put on the sex offenders register. (age of consent in UK is 16)

 

I was discussing this on the way home today, and i just wondered what people's opinions were. Bear in mind that none of this is in the process of becoming law, i just wondered what people's opinions would be, especially as such a change in the law would make alot of relationships illegal.

 

At what point is someone a paedophile, and do you think there is any logic in imposing restrictions on girls over the age of consent? Where would you personally draw the line, if you think one should be drawn at all?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Likewise a 20 year old couldn't date a 27 year old.

 

Wow, I can't believe that about making a 27 year old dating a 20 year old a pedofile! Isn't a 20 year old an adult and can date whomever they want? I know adults with SOs or spouses much bigger age gap than that, and can't believe they'd say the older one is a pedofile! Are they really talking about that?

[patch2006uk]

In the newspaper article i read, they wanted a 7 year limit on everyone under 21, so if they got their way (which isn't likely, but i thought it might make an interesting discussion) then yeah, that would be an illegal relationship.

 

In the UK, anyone over 16 can date whoever they want, with a few expections for people in positions of trust (teachers and policemen etc) where the girl must be at least 18, so i just thought this sounded like a really strange proposal.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Wow that is strange and I dont ever see that happening especially for over the age of 18. My bf and I have a 7 year age gap (he is 26 and I am 19) and in no way do I see him as a pedophile. We fell in love and it just so happens that there is a decent age gap between us. We've been together for going on 3 years and have a kid together so I think that would be wrong if so to say the US government tried to pass a bill stating he'd be charged as a pedophile.

IMO, they need to focus on the people raping small children and letting them off because they're "too short"(yes! that really happened, I cant find the story anywhere though), rather then older adults dating someone thats say 7 years older then them. I think its stupid, I honestly believe that its just a way of people in charge to try and control people even more then they already do.

[charley]

I'm only going to say this: An 18 year old is old enough to join the military and die for their country, vote, etc. Shouldn't they then also be old enough to decide who they want to date and other personal decisions? I guess that's my USA perspective. I don't know about the UK, but people are people everywhere. We are more similar than different.

[AwdreeHpburn]

In the newspaper article i read, they wanted a 7 year limit on everyone under 21, so if they got their way (which isn't likely, but i thought it might make an interesting discussion) then yeah, that would be an illegal relationship.

 

In the UK, anyone over 16 can date whoever they want, with a few expections for people in positions of trust (teachers and policemen etc) where the girl must be at least 18, so i just thought this sounded like a really strange proposal.

 

It's the same here Patch as far as I know. I think some states vary on the age a bit, here in MINNESOTA its 16 ....

 

But 7 year cap....interesting idea. Sort of....

[cichlid]

It's the same here Patch as far as I know. I think some states vary on the age a bit, here in MINNESOTA its 16 ....

 

But 7 year cap....interesting idea. Sort of....

So techinically according to the 7 year cap, I can date a 14 year old and it would be perfectly okay...yeah, that's sick.

[AwdreeHpburn]

So techinically according to the 7 year cap, I can date a 14 year old and it would be perfectly okay...yeah, that's sick.

 

well....I thought the op said starting at 16? Or was it 21.

 

 

Yeh - obviously it doesn't mean you can date a 7 year old as long as you're 14 or under!

[cichlid]

well....I thought the op said starting at 16? Or was it 21.

 

 

Yeh - obviously it doesn't mean you can date a 7 year old as long as you're 14 or under!

The cap was for those under 21 I believe is what the op meant. Like those over 21 could date whoever they want as long as they don't mess up the 7 year cap for under 21s... but those under 21 had to have a 7 year gap of course. That's how I read it.

[Night Pumpkin]

Since this thread is a discussion about what distinguishes a true pedophilia from a healthy dating relationship, I want to make some important distinctions between the two.

 

1. Pedophiles often has a history of severe emotional problems. Many have been sexually abused themselves. Those who date someone younger may or may not have been sexually abused, as most pedophiles have been.

 

2. True pedophiles have different brain structures. They have enlarged temporal lobes, compared to people not classified as pedophiles.

 

3. Pedophiles usually know what they is doing is wrong. People in a romantic relationship don't believe what they are doing is wrong.

 

4. Pedophiles often offend against someone of the same sex. Atleast half of all pedophilia involves men and boys. True romantic relationships are almost always hetrosexual, not homosexual.

 

5. Pedophiles often have many victims. In a romantic relationship, the older person is usually committed only to that person.

 

6. True pedophilia is extremely harmful to the victim. Inappropriate romantic relationships may be in inappropriate, but there is no serious long term affect on the younger person as long as that person was mature enough to consent.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

classification as pedophile is usually based on the age of the child being taken advantage of, regardless of the perpetrator's age... that is common sense law based on the emotional and sexuality maturity of the child and whether they are able to make wise sexual decisions for themselves without parental consent and guidance.

 

so the perpetrator is classed as a pedophile when they get sexually involved with children under the age of consent. i don't think they are ever likely to raise the age of consent anywhere to apply some 7 year rule, it just doesn't make sense.

 

nor will be be ok for a 18 year old to date a 11 year old? (7 year gap)...no! nor ok for a 17 year old to date a 10 year old..no! etc. until a teenager reaches age of consent, dating anyone other than in a peer very close in age will just not fly, and anyone dating pre-pubscents won't fly at all...

 

There are usually differing levels of severity and criminal sentences based on the child's age, i.e., penalties are less severe if the younger party is an older teen, and very severe if the child is pre-pubsecent. so there are already attempts in the law to handle cases where the age gap is not great, and the individuals involved of similar ages. but anyone under puberty is basically off limits for any kind of sexual activity, or the older individual involved is classed as a pedophile, and should be

 

i really don't think the laws are unclear at all on this... slightly different in different localities but pretty clear. no one is going to put a 16 year old in jail as a pedophile when dating a 15 year old... or even an 17 year old a 16 year old... but a 17 year old and 10 year old, you bet, going to jail, and should!

[musicguy]

here in Iowa the legal age is 16

[CarnelianButterfly]

I don't think it should be for people over 18, but it should still be case by case for individuals near the line. I know there are vast difference in the maturity of people at any age, so its not easy to say that all 18 year olds are capable of being adults or if all 21 years olds for that matter. If this were imposed it shouldn't be a strict rule, but rather a guideline for evaluation of each situation. Of course that would mean how would you determine the maturity levels of the individuals involved and the nature of the relationship.

[Mr Mister1]

I think the whole idea of a 7 year rule for people under 21 is plan silly and would cause more harm than good.

But in saying that perhaps I should claify a few things.

 

First of all in the case of someone preying on another, raping, maipulating etc. Those actions are wrong at any age! Even if both parties are above 21 it's wrong. That is very black and white.

 

Secondly abusing your position of authority (teacher, psychiatrist etc) is also wrong, reglardless of age. Again black and white.

 

But when there's a relationship between two consensual parties matters get a bit grey.

 

The way I see it, if you're over 18 you're legally an adult (that's the law over here at least). You can drink, drive (not at the same time of course), vote, join the army etc. You have the same rights and responsibilities as everyone else over 18. So once you're 18 you should be able to have a relationship with any one else over 18 that you wish. This whole "7 year" thing is silly when we're talking about legal adults.

 

Over here I believe that the legal age for sexual relationships is 16. I see the 16-18 period as a grey area as people mature at different rates over that time.

 

IMHO under 16 is generally too young to be thinking about sexual relationships.

 

So I guess my view is under 16 is a no go zone, 16-18 I'm undecided and if both parties are over 18 then it's all good.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I'd like to see the sources behind these distinctions.

 

I'm not sure what the laws in the UK are, but in the US these laws fall into Statutory Rape and Age of Consent laws.

 

We'll all argue till we're blue in the face about what a good law should be, but in the end this issue is far to subjective.

 

Personally I agree with statutory rape laws, and wouldn't mind seeing the punishments be more severe.

[PhilliesFan001]

That sounds ridiculous to me. My boyfriend and I have a seven year age gap (I'm 18 almost 19, and he's 25 almost 26). I don't view him as a pedophile...I always thought of pedophiles as adults who prey on pre-pubescent children, and I certainly am not one.

 

I don't live in the UK so I wouldn't be affected, but if that law passes it's insane.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I have relatives where one spouse is about 8 years older than the other. I mean one's about 58 and the other's about 50. So is the older spouse a pedofile????

[Survictor]

I wonder if pedo's who have been abused have larger temporal lobes as a result of being abused then?

 

I don't understand this. If they have been abused themselves and go on to become abusers, why would the temp.lobe be enlarged. Would it develop as a result of the abuse?

[unface]

Pedophilia (as a mental disorder) refers to adult-child relationships only.

 

"Child" meaning pre-pubescent or early puberty... around 13 years old and under.

 

Are they actually going to call it pedophilia or are these just the ages of consent they're talking about changing?

 

Personally, I'd draw the line at puberty. Anyone that hasn't gone through or started that shouldn't be having sex (aside from experimentation with kids of the same age). Other than that, it would vary depending on physical and mental maturity. And risk, of course.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

eh, girls nowadays start puberty at 11 and younger I believe sometimes. So no I don't think the onset of puberty is the proper age of consent. Not like oh, she's had her first period so it's fair game.

[unface]

eh, girls nowadays start puberty at 11 and younger I believe sometimes. So no I don't think the onset of puberty is the proper age of consent. Not like oh, she's had her first period so it's fair game.

 

I didn't say that puberty would be the only factor in my decision, nor did I say that the age of consent should be set at puberty.

 

I was talking about the classification of a pedophile... Here's what the APA says about pedophilia:

 

"Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally age 13 years or younger)."

 

That's one of the criterion for determining whether a person is a pedophile or not.

 

Breaking consent laws and pedophilia should not be considered the same thing.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Ok, I see what you mean.

[patch2006uk]

Wow, loads of responses! Thanks everyone for sharing your views

 

Quite a few people have mentionned the grey area between 16 and 18, and i think that this is the area the discussion is tryin to clear up.

 

I personally think that once a person is over the age of consent, whatever that is where they live, then they should be allowed to make your own decisions about who you should date. A paedophile is, in my opinion, someone who preys on pre-pubescent children, not an adult who dates and has a relationship with another person who is legally allowed to give their consent in having sex.

 

Surely giving people below the age of consent the power to consent to sex completely undermines the idea of having an age of consent?

 

Again, thank you to everyone who has already responded to this thread!

[Jonboy582]

Thats just crazy 20 year olds 19 year olds and 18 year olds are all leagally adults. But someone 7 years older than them who is going out with them is a paedophile. Pedophilia is "The attraction to pre-pubesant teens" how in any shape or form is that a 20 year old. You can be 30 and dating a 15 year old (admitidly I think thats wrong) but if they are not pre-pubesant the adult is technically NOT paedophile. Also its stupid a 20 year old cannot date a 27 year old BUT a 21 year old can date someone who is 65. But I am sure a 2o year old dating someone alot older would never even get to court, as it is most likely an outdated law.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I've always wondered what if their birthdays were just one day apart and the one who's 15 and 364 days old, and one is 16 (one day older) and is the older one raping the one one day younger? And same with 17 and 364 days and 18?

 

Good point about 20/ 27 vs. 21/65.