Girls who dont date?

[Jian]

Ok Ive meet this girl a few days ago.

 

I saw her once before, we had a very short chat and one week after, Ive meet her again and then asked for her email. She gladly gave it to me.

 

Yesterday we chatted a bit. I asked her if she would be interested to meet for a drink during the conversation. She told me that she wanted to make things clear and told me that shes has no interest in dating or flirting. I told her I'm interested to make friends, she said then fine. However, she asked to bring one of he guy friend to our first meeting. I didn't agree as i said I don't feel too much comfortable having a third party with us the first time.

 

The discussion then went awkward and we ended up not making any plans. Just said later to each other,and she ended up the conversation. I can say that it was a 50% good chat in general, tried to be funny, but its hard to make jokes on msn and make sure the other person get its a joke. She never brought the topic that she have a boyfriend and I never asked either, I asked if she had a girlfriend...to make things funny, but I think she didn't find that much funny lol, ho well

 

If a girl say that shes not interested in dating or flirting, is it bad to say that you only want to make friends? Which is true in my case, as I don't know her and wanted to see if we are at least compatible. Do you think its possible to reverse her mind and make her attracted to you? or its simply a way to tell me shes has no interest in me at all.

[rose2summer]

Well, for everybody it's a very unique situation.

 

I can tell you how I would feel if a guy said he wanted to be friends.

 

To me I have been friendzoned and am no longer interested in crossing the line with him.

 

However, some suggest friends first, for me that doesn't work.

 

By her behavior, she seems to feel friendzoned since she wanted to bring a friend to the meeting, to make a point.

 

Hugs, Rose

[quietgrl]

How old is this girl and is she saying this comment to every man?"shes has no interest in dating or flirting."

[Day_Walker]

I dont know what her particular issue is but she has told you that she has no interest in you and it cannot be any more clear. In my mind there are too many woman out there to put in a large amount of effort in one who makes it clear that she does not have an interest in you.

I dont believe in the friendzoned concept because that typically has to deal with physical attraction or because something is too easy.

[Clementine orange]

Don't torture yourself man. Look elsewhere for romance. I'd stay in touch though - things could change

[p_fred]

I know it seems like a good idea to be friends but the problem is saying that is like saying "I'm not romantically interested in you but we can hang out" Which I don't think is the reason you would agree to it. A better answer would be to joking say "I have so many friends.. how will I fit you in?" or something like that. It seems like a nice thing to be but I don't think it will bring you closer to a relationship with her... even worse, she might think you mean "friends with benefits"

[Dating Coach]

It means that she has no interest in you romantically, and if you had any romantic intentions with her then no, it's not a good idea to say you're interested in friends. Clearly, since you're posting her and since you asked her out, you're interested in a potential relationship.

 

You did good in rejecting the date with her bringing a friend, but if she tells you that she isn't interested in dating she means she's not interested in dating you.

[Jian]

thanks for the tips, I guess ill put her out of my mind then.

 

Too bad she was really cute and we share a couple of interests already. Shes between 23-25. Im 29, but shes a party girl, likes clubbing a lot!

 

I guess she was just being nice to me then.

[Jian]

Just a short follow up.

 

I’ve send an email to the girl a few days later. Telling her that I was sorry that the conversation didn’t goes very well. She explained me that she found that I have been rude with her asking her out without even knowing her. She explained me that she doesn’t like when guys pick on her and she only date friends!??

 

Ok here's my question,

 

Does a lot of girls actually hate being picked up? And what’s the deal about friends, I think it’s important to become friends first indeed, but I taught that the dates were made for that, knowing each other and all before actually getting to the next level.

 

I would prefer to know, next time I approach a girl, is it better to hide under the cover of being friend or being truthful in what you want. I’m not trying to sleep with most girls as possible, Im 29, single since a few months and im looking for something serious with a lady but now im confuse about my approach.

[Dating Coach]

No, the vast majority girls have no problem with it. This girl is either unusual, trying to blow you off, or make it look like you did something wrong so she can feel guilt free about being very abrupt and rude to you. Forget her. You shouldn't even have emailed her, there's no point.