Gal I dated is obsessed with me...

[kellbell]

Juliana,

 

No, not necessarily. Not all inmates are mentally ill nor violent. But there are several mentally ill persons within the correctional system. But because I have interviewed such persons (mentally ill) and have dealth with them face to face, I have learned how to handle them.

 

Not to highjack this thread, one important thing I have learned when dealing with those that the orginal poster had described, is to BE FIRM about your wishes, no budging because he/she will expolit any leverage you give. Once you case is stated, the best way to go about dealing these people is to IGNORE them. They are starving for attention, ANY attention.

[Juliana]

I think that although it's important to be aware of the possibility of danger, it's important to separate our outraged sense of control from what they are actually doing. A very timid person might be afraid of someone who would be astonished to hear that. Only a minute percentage of mentally ill people ever become violent; on the other hand, there is currently a very popular C & W song about a woman who goes out and vandalizes her ex-lover's sports utility vehicle. While half the nation is singing along to this woman bashing in the guy's headlights with a baseball bat, the other half is phoning 911 because their ex is hiding in the bushes accross the street.

 

People are weird. They do weird things. Ultimately, there is no prescription for how to deal with anyone, mentally ill or otherwise. The OP is probably the best judge of his situation; I am only pointing out what I know to be true, that bringing in the police can escalate things out of control very quickly, and may not be the best approach in all cases.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

At this point I'm in agreement with Juliana here. I do think you would be jumping the gun to involve the police right now. If I called the police everytime a guy 'Psycho-Dialed' my phone, or begged me to date him or take me back, I would be on speed dial with the police station. Of course I'm not trying to make light of the OPs situation, though, but I do not think that things have escalated at this point to the point where police involvement is warranted. Now should things escalate then that is another story.

 

A restraining order is also a bit of a gamble, it could escalate things, and people tend to treat the person who asked for the RO as if they are a bit nutty themselves. Also, I don't think the OP wants to give the girl a criminal record for begging him to take her back. Hopefully if he is firm with her, then she will realize it's not going to happen and she will move on.

[DN]

She threatens me and then apologizes, over and over.

 

Tell the police if these threats involve any form of violence. Threats should be taken seriously whether the person making them is male or female.

[bsp_kjm]

thank you everyone for your time and info! well she sent me a couple text msgs tonite and I ignored them but they kept coming... so I finally sent back a reply msg of, "dont txt me" and the txts stopped. she hasnt called since i made this post, so I'm thinking she is getting the hint... maybe

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Yes, just keep ignoring her and her attempts to contact you. You already stated your wishes (by sending that text) and now ignore them. I know this will be tough but this is the way to do it. Hang in there.

[annie24]

yeah, I agree, just keep ignoring her contacts! hopefully she should stop now.

 

PS - you may want to keep a journal or log of all her contacts to you and when and when you contacted her also, so in case she does do something scary (hopefully not!!!!!), but just in case, have a log to show the police.

[bsp_kjm]

wow got a really long email from her this morning calling me alls of bad things and saying that its my fault that she is on bad terms with her family because she was seeing me without their permission and that she cries all night thinking about how much pain I'm putting her through. then she said that I'm a nobody and should treat people better. All of this because of the txt msg on the cell. Im actually a bit freaked out she might show up at my place or mess with my car

[finewhine]

Send her a reply telling her not to e-mail you. At least that's what I gathered from the other posters' insight.

[annie24]

don't respond. or if you do, it needs to be the following:

 

xxxxx - do not write, call, text, e-mail, or contact me in any way ever again. This is harassement, and I will not tolerate it.

 

Keep records of everything, and if she does it one more time, tell the police. the fact that you are thinking she may do something to you or your property is enough of a reason. she sounds really unhinged.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Please, please do not respond to that. I know this is real hard but she is going to use some really low blows to get your attention to respond. This is going to go on until she gets tired of it.

 

She is trying anything and everything to get your attention. Don't fall for any of it. Stay strong. Try blocking her address on your email account and perhaps changing your number. This is very important, don't give in to her low blows and button pushing. Save everything though just in case.

 

Hang in there.

[annie24]

yes, right. don't respond. that's better advice.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I don't think OP should block anything, though he wont pick up the phone, though. If he blocks it he will not know she's been contacting him, and I think he needs to know and be aware of what's going on.