Tips on breaking up??

[Mr.Mister]

My girlfriend and I have been doing the makeup/breakup stuff for the whole time we've been together (a little over a year). It was mostly because I loved her and she didn't love me. She's always been the one to break up with me, but more recently I broke up with her. She got really sad and realized she has been acting weird lately and we got back together.

 

She has started showing me love, but I don't feel it towards her anymore. There's only so much not getting love back that I can take. I feel bad about it, cause that's all I wanted from her the whole time!

 

Also, we used to have sex and be intimate when we first started dating and now she feels it's dirty and disgusting and never wants to have sex ever again. She is becoming strictly religious and these feelings stem from that. I also talked about that whole problem in this thread.

 

Anyway, the thing is I know I have to break up with her now, but I'm not sure how to do it. Everytime we break up, I feel miserable and no matter how much I try, I always take her back. I'm like George on Seinfeld; he hates being with the girl he's with, but when she breaks up with him, he gets sad and tells her he loves her and never wants her to leave. And then, when she is happy again and they are going home, he's like "what have I done??"

 

I understand NC would help, but she is my best friend as well as my girlfriend and I don't think I could just give her up completely. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can say to break up with her and actually stay broken up with her? I can't move on when I'm still in a relationship haha.

 

This is my first relationship ever, so I really don't know how to get out of it. Also, I don't want to hurt her much.

[robowarrior]

Show some spine, if you take her back it will make you look weak. Personally i dislike light-switch relationships, and if you decide to go back you must dissolve those problems which lead to your break up in the first place, otherwhise you'll just be going around in circles.

[whoops]

i know it is your first relationship but if it aint right then leave it alone - so break up with her and stay that way dont go back and do NC of course you feel sad but without this you wont learn - i agree with the one above have some spine and stick to it or you will regret the wasted time

 

Move on now and do it if you wanted to = stop going back of course all will get hurt but it is better now then later

[valenski]

If you want to break up with her, procrastinating is only delaying the inevitable. The sooner you get it over with the better, as to not wanting to cause her pain, thats unavoidable, its going to hurt both of you but just be honest with yourself and with her, if you tell her you are unhappy and want to end this, who knows maybe she might feel the same too.