Are distractions healthy?

[mattyk]

My gf broke up with me about three weeks ago, and I am currently a couple of weeks into no contact. After the breakup I watched a lot of DVDs for about a week, and since then have been spending a lot of time reading. These fill in the time, and also take my mind off things. My question is are these distractions healthy? Is this sort of escapism something that I should try to avoid, since it just prevents me dealing with the breakup, or is it good to spend time not thinking about things.... If so which distractions are healthy, and which are not? What makes a healthy distraction?

[zrehman]

Hey there. I'm glad to see that you are keeping yourself busy while trying to deal with this break up, and so far it seems like you are doing an excellent job! These "distractions" are healthy, I wouldn't even call them "distractions". You are keeping yourself busy and your mind off your ex, and I personally think there is absoultely nothing wrong with that. When I was not with my ex and I was going crazy, everyone I talked to told me to keep myself busy and do errands, hang out, read, etc.. You can do whatever you need to do that will help you keep your mind off your ex.

 

Your on the right path and you should continue to be like this. Goodluck!

[xmrth]

As long as you're not doing anything to harm yourself or others, then it's a healthy distraction. Harming yourself or others ranges from many things, to binge eating and drinking, to you name it.

 

Reading and watching movies is a regular activity... even if you start to excessively, you'll just be focusing on the breakup if you don't and that will lead to unhealthy things. If this works, stick to it for now, worry if it's a year later and you're a hermit.

[Lubber]

Dont let it become a crutch for every time you become upset though. Your mind could build an addiction to it.

 

Everything in moderation.

[Beec]

Not a problem at all.

 

Since you are doing it, I might suggest you try to channel it. Pick a type of movie and watch a bunch of the same type. Become somewhat of an expert on that type, know the actors, directors, development, etc. Nex time you are dating someone, if might be useful.

[laboheme]

I echo Lubber in that DVDs could become an unhealthy addiction if taken too far...but reading is always a good thing! (After I realized that there was no hope after my breakup, I bought the entire Harry Potter series and read through the whole thing...It did a great job keeping my mind off of things, and now I can talk about it with all the HP fans.) As long as you already acknowledged the fact that the relationship is over and aren't living in denial, I would not classify what you're doing as escapism. However, make sure to spend some time with friends as well, they will help the healing process...Don't become a hermit surrounded by DVDs and books. But other than that, I think you're doing good!

[finewhine]

Hehe, I read and watch movies all the time even when I'm not sad. I guess I'm a hopeless hermit.

 

Actually, mattyk, if you're intellectually engaged in any sort of distraction, the distraction has the potential to help you reflect back on your life. You're actually processing your life while engaging with the medium. So distract away!

[insofar]

I think it's a great idea to watch movies and read books while trying to get over your ex. First of all, there's no rush in going through the process, it takes time and nothing is going to change that. Second, I think doing those every day activities, coupled and hanging out with family and friends, reminds you that your life can be full and rewarding without your ex.

 

It's OK to do things to make yourself feel better and pass the time. Things will get better.

[rmpavlock]

As long as you are not trying to distract yourself by doing unhealthy things, it's definitely a good thing! It keeps you from obsessing about it and helps you move on. What would you be doing otherwise? Sitting at home thinking about it over and over? It's good to let yourself feel pain, but you shouldn't allow yourself to fall apart either. I definitely agree with the others that what you are doing is great. Keep it up!

[mattyk]

Thanks everyone.

 

What you say makes a lot of sense, that activities that take your mind off the breakup are fine. Except parhaps if the activity itself is not helpful - like drinking a lot - or if you distract yourself so much that you never have a chance to progress with things.

 

I guess it's not very good to be thinking about the breakup all the time anyway.