Once a cheater always a cheater?? HELP!

[Lioness]

Hi All,

 

As you can see by the above subject I'm asking that age old question. My husband and I are in an aweful situation. I've posted some other stuff so feel free to have a look. Anyway, I am friends with his x-wife. Our friendship has remained despite all that's happened. Before I married him, she had told me he cheated on her. Of course, I didn't believe her. I wish I would have listened. He did, many times, and now on me too. So it is true, once a cheater, always a cheater??? Let's hear from the audience please.

 

Another little piece of advice my mother told me "Always have lunch with the X before you get married..." Truer words were never said.

 

Take Care All

Lioness

[Beec]

I don't think that, but I think that if he is going to change, something need to happen to make him want to change.

[sparkle1]

I think 'always gotten away with it - always a cheater"

 

I was cheated on....and he was cheating on his new gf (who he cheated on me with ) with me (god how complicated does that sound)

 

A leapord never changes his spots comes to mind....

 

some people (men and women) will always think there is better out there, or that they can literally have their cake and eat it

 

So unfortunately i do think "once a cheater....always a cheater"

 

I'm sorry this has happened to you xx

[Siriana]

I think that if he chooses to react that way when things are not easy and new anymore and has no interest in changing his ways of dealing with problems- yes he will always be a cheater.

It can happen once, but dooing it to two woman, it looks like it's his own way of dealing with things.

[Day_Walker]

A person does not have to always be a cheater, people can change if they feel the need to change. However people only typically change when they hit rock bottom and have no other alternative but to change.

[chai714]

Generally speaking, people will continue to push your boundaries until you draw a line.

 

If the consequence for him cheating is you getting angry at him for a while, that's not such a bad thing. But if you walk away from him (especially since he's done it on more than one occasion), then he begins to see consequences for his wreckless behavior. And you walk away with self-respect. Priceless.

[Lioness]

Hi All,

 

I thought so...once a cheater always a cheater. I have walked away, but with very little self respect. I love him and I've never loved anyone before. I fell for the whole thing; hook, line & sinker. He says he's happy, but emails me on and off. I usually deleted them and don't answer. They never have anything in them worth answering. It just boggles my mind that all the great things we had meant nothing so he jumped the fence.

 

Thanks All.

[chai714]

Lioness,

 

I think it's normal to feel as if "once a cheater, always a cheater" especially given your situation.

 

Once you heal up from these wounds, you might reconsider that some people can change. Hang in there and I commend you for walking away.

[Lioness]

Thanks. I'm doing my best to recover and not walk down the bitter and angry road too much longer. I appreciate your comments.

[AzureSkyes69]

If a person cheats on me IT IS OVER.. it is as simple as that ..they get no second chance with me..Sorry!!!

The end..

 

I do believe for the most part and this is not everyone just my opinion.. (people are different) but what I have known from past experiance with a partner..for me once they cheat on you they usually will again,like I said if they blow my trust in them..it is over.