i think i've been lied to.

[bighair]

hi friends:

 

well, here is another installment to my on line dating chronicles.

 

I have a date scheduled with a man I'll Call Nathan for this Sat evening. When he first sent me his profile, it said he is 41 years od and never married. We had been exchanging email and have now decided to meet at a rest. at a halfway point from both of our homes.

 

so, he emailed me to confirm plans for sat. he used the dating site to send the message and i noticed he had updated his profile with new pics of himself. naturally, i checked them out and i also saw that his marital status states "curently separated."

 

you know...i get a lot of emails from this site and it is possible that i confused him with someone else...but, truthfully, i don't think so. i remember thinking that i was kinda relieved that someone that age had never been married, wanted to be married and have kid(s).

 

so, since i have had some negative experiences, i sent him an email pretty much asking if he changed his profile and that i could have sworn his original profile said "never married." i know he has read the emails because Match has this feature where you can tell if the recipient has read his email.

 

i don't know...it's all very weird. i feel like i had to confront him because i really don't want to date someone who is still married or in the very early stages of their separation.

 

what do you guys think?

[melrich]

I am going to guess that he lied to you.

[Stinkweed]

Hey,

 

I remember a recent post of yours about the guy who cried... I understand you wouldn't want the same story to happen all over again. So, I think that until he clearly explains what is going on, there should be no date... I mean, come on! If I were to subscribe to one of those dates I'd just say the truth, even though when you first meet me in person it just doesn't seem like it. I'd say that I'm stubborn, even people who don't know me that well might not think of me as stubborn. I'd say I'm a little bit on the control freak side (though not completely), and again, same thing, most people wouldn't know that. So I just think that if this guy is lying about that, he might as well be lying about other things... I agree with feeling suspicious, so I'd say that until he cuts the crap, you shouldn't bother... Like you said, you get plenty emails... So maybe this one guy is just not worth it if he's gonna lie before your first date... Just my two cents. Best wishes.

[starling603]

Women are trusting and men know it...I belong to a different dating site but once I get the feeling of being played... I move on real quick...to many men out there....so move on...

[bighair]

Hi, Nathan wrote back and he said that his marital status never changed. I don't know...now, I feel like I made a huge mistake. He says he has a court date coming at the end of the month...the divorce should go thru that day. I don't know what the hell to do. Part of me thinks a drink is harmless. Maybe, I did confuse his profile with someone else's. Ugh.

[Dako]

Bighair,

How long has he been separated?

I'd be careful about a guy that hasn't had a while to sort himself out.

 

(As if you need that advice... )

[Weeblie]

Hi, Nathan wrote back and he said that his marital status never changed. I don't know...now, I feel like I made a huge mistake. He says he has a court date coming at the end of the month...the divorce should go thru that day. I don't know what the hell to do. Part of me thinks a drink is harmless. Maybe, I did confuse his profile with someone else's. Ugh.

 

Well what does your gut feel?

If you feel that he lied, he probably did.

[bighair]

Bighair,

 

How long has he been separated?

 

Dako -

 

He has been separated for 18 months and he has a court date coming up at the end of the month. Yes, that's a good sign. However, I really believe his profile said never married. I don't know, dako...so many men write to me...i know how that sounds but that's just how it is for women on these sites...men do all the corresponding. i'm also rather paranoid because i've had some bad dates and even tho. nathan's court date is coming...he's still married. it's not as messy as the crying man who was one month into his sep.

[Dako]

!8 months is a petty good length of time.

I'm at the 13 month point and feeling rational myself. I think.

 

He may have been afraid to air his laundry and after chatting with you felt circumspect. I hope he proves a worthy date.

[bighair]

Well what does your gut feel?

If you feel that he lied, he probably did.

 

i could have sworn that his profile said never married. i learned my lesson after meeting up w. the crying man who was also separated. with him, i said a drink would be harmless and well he cried....he's so not ready to date.

 

so, after that experience, i promised myself that i wouldn't go out with the currently separated.

 

i feel like i've gone mad.

[hosswhispra]

If something 'feels' funny to you bighair, it probably is. Go with your gut or your 'Blink' decision. He probably changed his profile....

[blondebombshelter]

I would let it go and assume you were mistaken. If there really is something wrong, it will no doubt come to light sooner than later. What's the harm in meeting someone, anyway?

 

I think with the advent of internet introductions, we've all become too inclined to treat people like an endless supply of apples on a conveyer belt and we're the apple graders... tossing people away left right and centre. Most of the apples will have a few wormholes.

[Weeblie]

i could have sworn that his profile said never married. i learned my lesson after meeting up w. the crying man who was also separated. with him, i said a drink would be harmless and well he cried....he's so not ready to date.

 

so, after that experience, i promised myself that i wouldn't go out with the currently separated.

 

i feel like i've gone mad.

 

That sounds like an awful date.

I'm not sure what to tell you. I had a similar situation with a guy from match. I still hung out with him. We never became more than friends though. I still got that uneasy feeling from him. And months later I found out my gut was right. We're still really good friends though so it kind of worked out good.