The source of high self esteem

[Elfdrinkingtea]

I am curious. Can some people born with a confident personality? and can people obtain high self esteem through what life have throw at them? life hardship?

[chai714]

No. Confidence is not genetic but rather a learned behavior.

Having high self-esteem is a result of how you live your life. You can only achieve high self-esteem through self-respect. The more you respect yourself, the better choices you make in your life (choosing to do what is right rather than what feels good and is wrong is one example.) Thus, the gateway to higher self-esteem is achieved by respecting yourself and living your life so that you have a good conscience. The feeling of knowing who you are and what you stand for will result in increased self-esteem.

[Scout]

Hi elfdrinkingtea (love your user name, by the way! recent thread asked similar questions, well, basically asked what characteristics made people feel like they had high self-worth. Which to me, is the same thing as self-esteem.

 

There were some interesting answers on the thread, and many seem to point towards traits that are developed over time, with effort:

[Survictor]

Personally and IMHO, I think that your self esteem develops over time beginning as a baby. If your parents, teachers etc., are critical rather than encouraging, it can affect your self esteem your whole life.

[Scout]

Personally and IMHO, I think that your self esteem develops over time beginning as a baby. If your parents, teachers etc., are critical rather than encouraging, it can affect your self esteem your whole life.

 

Yes, indeed. BUT...it's possible with dedicated effort to overcome the early years of our upbringing.

[RayKay]

Confidence is nurtured by our own selves (and if we are lucky, it is aided by the support of our loved ones). I think a distinction must be made between true confidence that is developed over time and narcissism which is more shallow, and often also a false confidence that is easily shattered by events.

 

And yes, you can develop confidence through hardships - at least that has been my own experience. It's not a matter of WHAT life throws at you as much as it is how you deal with what it throws at you.

[Scout]

Confidence is nurtured by our own selves (and if we are lucky, it is aided by the support of our loved ones). I think a distinction must be made between true confidence that is developed over time and narcissism which is more shallow, and often also a false confidence that is easily shattered by events.

 

And yes, you can develop confidence through hardships - at least that has been my own experience. It's not a matter of WHAT life throws at you as much as it is how you deal with what it throws at you.

 

Very, very good points. And you know, the only way to really develop the true confidence - and character! - RayKay speaks of is through the hardships or challenges in life.

 

So, we should actually look at problems as opportunities for character growth.

[rocio]

I think alot of it has to do with the way you were born. It has to do with the way your brain works and the chemical balance in your body.

 

As well as life experience, of course.

[Dako]

Confidence follows competence.

[rocio]

Confidence follows competence.

 

I'd say it's more like "Confidence follows incompetence"

 

Don't you find that the more you learn, the less you realise you knew?

[Dako]

Don't you find that the more you learn, the less you realise you knew?

Absolutely, but it doesn't increase my confidence at all.

It's when I get it right that I feel confident I can do it again.

[brando]

Problems are opportunities in work clothes.

[eviljedi]

High self esteem comes from your self-image. The way your sub-conscious perceives yourself. If your self-image is that off a rockin' dude, then you will be confident. If it is that of a loser geek, you will act shy.

[Elfdrinkingtea]

hazey_amber

 

I'd say it's more like "Confidence follows incompetence"

 

Don't you find that the more you learn, the less you realise you knew?

 

Can you give an explaination on that? It is not clear. THe more I learn, the less i realize i knew? An example?

[rocio]

hazey_amber

 

I'd say it's more like "Confidence follows incompetence"

 

Don't you find that the more you learn, the less you realise you knew?

 

Can you give an explaination on that? It is not clear. THe more I learn, the less i realize i knew? An example?

 

I just find that life experience often humbles me.

[FoxLocke]

I know from personal growth and experience that not only is self esteem something that is earned, but you also have to fight for it. And the biggest fight you will ever have to wage is against the negativity inside your own head.