I know the right answer, but ...

[JSMITH]

not going to get into a hugh detail, but here's the skinny.

 

met a wonderful girl about 10mo ago.

totally fell in love with her.

she meant everything to me.

 

she was struggling with finances.

working at a dead end job, etc. etc.

 

she wanted to go back to school (speciallized intense course)

her dad agreed to pay for the tuition, and I agreed to cover her living expenses.

 

nobody knows about our arragement about the money

 

everything's been great.

i love her.

but just like any other relationships, we had our fair share of problems.

 

last weekend was the last straw of it.

we ended up yelling and screaming at each other over 3 days over the phone and in person.

i sent her a letter telling her my side of story. and if she's willing to try again, i will be all game.

 

well, i knew it wasn't going to happen.

things i ask are too much for her to handle.

not because i ask too much, but that's just the way she is.

see, she's always been different, unique .... never never seen any other female like her. that's probably what draw me to her at the first place.

 

anyway long story short ...

she called me today.

we confess to each other, we like each other, we care about each other .. and all that.

but still comes short of what i am looking for. i want more than what she;s willing to offer ... if that makes sense.

 

i've been crying non-stop for the whole day.

every 3 second i think of her ... i cry.

 

biggest thing to me right now is that (besides the face that she's no longer with me) ... she quit her school.

yes, the school her dad paid for. only 4 more month left into it. if she finishes, she would have a special license to go work almost everywhere in a field that's pretty demanding right now.

 

she quit school because she needs to make money full time in order to live, since i am no longer covering her expenses.

 

she asked me to call her sometime. i said ... no.

she can call me when and if she needs me or want to talk to me.

she said she will.

 

i have this very strong urge to call her and ask what she would need in order for her to go back to school and finish her studies.

i feel like i screwed up her life.

 

bottom line is that ... she is a wonderful person. i love her.

she doesn't love me as i love her.

sure she has special feelings for me ... but it's not enough for me.

that should tell me. ... it's her life ... not my problem anymore.

 

yet, it hurts to think i screwed up her life.

 

like i said ... i know what the right answer to this would/should be ...

but would like to hear from you.

thanks

[Crazyaboutdogs]

yet, it hurts to think i screwed up her life.

 

You did not screw up her life. I am glad you had enough backbone to walk away from this. You have only known her 10 months (less than that when you started paying her living expenses). Be very careful out there in the dating world because there are a lot of women who are looking for financial handouts from a man and will take them even if they don't love the man. I read, so often in these forums that men are so eager to dole out their money to women who just want to take but really don't care enough for the guy. She is responsible for her own life. You are not responsible for her life and her financial well-being.

[JSMITH]

i just want to throw this one in for whatever it's worth.

 

she is NOT a gold digger.

i know the kind. i've been with the kind.

 

yes, she is responsible for her own life.

but ....

 

dame emotions!

[jilligirl]

you didn't screw up her life because YOU are not, and should not be, responsible for her life. she's not a baby and you're not her daddy. she's gotta learn to tough it out and take care of herself. life is like that, but we all deal with it.

[Juliana]

Make the offer, and she can refuse or accept it. It's only money, and it will give you closure.