Anyone else

[sunshine13]

Does anyone else have NC and want their ex to call them or contact them but absolutely DREAD them contacting you b/c you are scared of giving in. . . knowing that it is not healthy? I know my ex's pattern. He loves me for 6 months, then hates me for 6 months, then loves me again. This has gone on and on for 4 years. As soon as I don't contact him for a while he starts to contact me. It is coming up on a month of no contact and anyone who has read my posts. . .the "private" hang up phone calls have started. This is definitely a pattern. I know soon that I will be getting an email or a phone call and as much as I want to know he still cares and is thinking of me . . . I am dreading it b/c I am not sure that I am strong enough to continue NC when it starts. Any advice?

[Vynde]

Sunshine,

 

I have been in NC for 11 days, and yes, I would love for my Ex to call me, and I would love to hear her say she made a mistake and wants to work things out.. Would I gve in..? Its hard to say. I do love her, I do care about her.. but is it worth it?

 

In your case, you said you see a pattern.. Is this a pattern you would like to continue? So that in another 6 months you can go through this again?

 

I miss my wife, I dont think she even will call, but if she does, I dont know what I would do. I would love for her to say thing things like I mentioned above, but I think we both know.. that what they will prob say, is not what we will want to hear.

 

Good luck.. I know this is hard.. Keep up NC.. would be my advise

 

John

[birdgirl]

I can relate to this post. I don't want to talk to him because if we talk I might give in and get back with him, and I can't, because I can't trust him. So I don't want him to call me. I won't call him, but I can't stop checking my phone to see if there's a message or missed call. Argh.

[sunshine13]

What happened with you and your ex? I do see a pattern with my ex. He has been so unpredictable over the past four years that it is almost predictable. Does that make sense? I will not contact him b/c I don't have anything to say. He usually only talks to me when HE is ready. I just really dread getting that call or email b/c I am not over him. That is why I have taken him back every other time. He usually comes back before I am completely healed so I fall for him everytime. What a mess!!!

[Meow18]

Part of doing no contact is realizing that you deserve better than what that person had to offer you.

 

Why do you think that you deserve to be treated this way? This guy might really care about you.. during the 6 months that he shows it, but he doesn't care about you enough.

 

You just have to try hard to be strong. Maybe make his email address spam, so that it doesn't go to your inbox. Block his number. Do whatever you have to do for yourself.

[BornToResist]

I have an ongoing post regarding the same thing.

 

I ALWAYS go back. I always think things are going to be different.

 

Guess what. They never change. It's so frustrating when you're stuck in the pattern.

 

Good job on breaking it, keep it up!

[sunshine13]

](*,) It is ridiculous the way I always go back. My friends despise him, my family doesn't even allow his name in their houses b/c they have watched me go through this break up pattern with him for so many years. The biggest problem is that when things are great for 6 months he drops the bomb out of nowhere that it is over and he REFUSES to speak with me for a long time. That way I pretty much stay heart broken. Before I heal and move on he will call me up again. . .what better timing than 4 or 5 months after he breaks up with me b/c I am no longer angry with him and more in the "missing him" stage. It has always started with hang up phone calls. . . I know as long as I keep no contact he will be calling or emailing soon. I definitely could block his work email, home email, phone number. . . but a part of me doesn't really want to. I think I am sick!

[sounhappy]

I have the same old thing going on....change yr numbers and contact details.......i think mine has really done the all time worst thing this time to me so no going back.hehas ripped my heart into and is going abroad with a new girl!!!!! I wont EVER spk to him again (but i will be tempted ;-0..its sooooo hard) I want some peace and im sure you do, it all takes so much energy which we could putt into other things or people who are worth it....good luck.

[sunshine13]

I wanted to say a BIG Thank you to everyone who has given me advice. I have used this site as a way of expressing my feelings and getting feedback from everyone that I so desperately needed. I actually keep it open all day at work so that I can help give advice and get advice. After thinking about things all day today. . . . I have decided not to keep coming to enotalone. I wish everyone the VERY BEST!!! I hope each and every one of you trust in yourself when it comes to your relationships, past and present. I wish everyone love as well b/c I think that is what a lot of us are lacking. However, I think that coming here every day is setting me back. Instead of healing and moving on. . . I keep coming here and talking about it everyday and re-living it through everyone elses experiences. It has been 2 months and It is time for me to move on. . . Stop talking and move forward. I may need you guys again but for now. . . I need to shape up and get out of here so I get out of the rut of talking about it every day. MUCH LOVE TO EVERYONE!!!!!!

[sounhappy]

Sat here in tears...yr so right, this is my first time on this site......im not coming back, all this is torture. take care.