Saw her driving, want to send her an email....should I?

[LeftBehind]

I saw her driving today. It's been 4 months of complete NC from both sides.

 

But I've felt lately I've hit a wall in "healing".

 

I want to send her an email just telling her I'm sorry for how I acted, and I'm sorry for the things I said....that I hope she's doing well...etc....

 

I realize we are both probably better off without each other, and I will say this also in the email just so she understands I'm not trying to rekindle anything.

 

But I feel I need to get this stuff off my chest to really "let go".

 

Anyone think I shouldn't?

[hosswhispra]

Don't send the email. If you want to get things off your chest, draft a letter and don't send that either. Put it somewhere and keep writing the letters (but not sending them) to get everything off your chest. Writing down what you feel and expressing yourself is actually healing.

 

Breaking no contact will set you back in the healing process.

 

Besides, what is the point of an email telling her that you have no intention of rekindling anything?

[LeftBehind]

Don't send the email. If you want to get things off your chest, draft a letter and don't send that either. Put it somewhere and keep writing the letters (but not sending them) to get everything off your chest. Writing down what you feel and expressing yourself is actually healing.

 

Breaking no contact will set you back in the healing process.

 

Besides, what is the point of an email telling her that you have no intention of rekindling anything?

 

 

I've tried that many times before. It's not the same because I know they aren't going to read it......

[hosswhispra]

I can't make you not send the email. But I can only advise you off of my own experience that you may actually feel worse after sending the email to her. Trust me that's a yucky feeling.

 

Can you accept that you may not get the desired response you're looking for? If you can, then send her that email.

[FCTex]

Sit down and think of what good it would be for eitheir party to send that e-mail??

 

If you want to apologize for anything, and everything said, then why would you tell her you don't want to rekindle anything and have no hope for reconcilliation.

 

Regardless of who left who, it hurts anyone dealing with direct rejection.

 

On top of it all, the only reason you feel the need to contact her is because you've been reminded of her, by seeing her.

 

My suggestion is to leave well enough alone. Seriously. Take a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle. Now on the left, put Good Reasons, and the opposite on the right.

 

List as much as you can think.. Compare. You'll see that regardless of most circumstances, if your selfish in guarding your heart and getting past the heartache and break up, that the reasons for contacting are far, far less than you'd imagine for you own good.

 

 

Stay strong.

[CyberCowBoy]

Don't send the email., Cntinue NC around 7 months to 12 months she'll come crawlin back, at which time u can decide to try agin or not. Send that email and she'l never come back. I understand that your motive is not to get her back but like FC said nothing good wil come from the tone-less cold words of an email. Go back over the post from FCTEX and Hosswispa and don't make the ireversable mistake i made

u can do it

[heloladies21]

I used to give the advice not to send it, but you'll never fully get over her until you get everything off your chest and say everything you have to say. Then you will have no doubt as to her true intentions and you can move in one direction or the other. So write a thorough letter and send it asap.

[LeftBehind]

Don't send the email., Cntinue NC around 7 months to 12 months she'll come crawlin back, at which time u can decide to try agin or not. Send that email and she'l never come back. I understand that your motive is not to get her back but like FC said nothing good wil come from the tone-less cold words of an email. Go back over the post from FCTEX and Hosswispa and don't make the ireversable mistake i made

u can do it

 

Why do you say 7-12 months?

 

Our situation was odd. We fell very hard for each other, but she was in the beginning of breaking up with her bf of 3.5 years, and she began to pull away....

 

At first I got really depressed, clingy and desperate (as I've written here before), but after about 3 weeks of digging myself deeper, and one final explosion from her I started NC....

[arwen]

I don't think NC is a strategy of getting the other person back. It's a good way of starting to heal and move on. Don't send her that email. Write it for yourself and keep it somewhere where you can re-read it later. It's not for HER that you feel this need to write. It's for yourself.

 

Ilse