successful relationships and breakup

[trash mail]

Although, it might be wrong place to ask, IF thee are any successful relationship here how many times did you breakup before with your curent before you realise she is the "one"?? Or do you think that as soon as you end the relationship that is it. No more.

THanks for you answers and your opinions.

[itsallgrand]

This may sound weird to you, but I consider my last relationship to be a successful one. And we broke up. That's it. Good years together and time to part ways.

 

I don't think there are any solid rules to live by. However, I think if you find yourself in a situation where you are breaking up and getting back together a million times - it is time to end it. Something is wrong.

 

my 2 cents.

[Momene]

My wife and I have never broken up, although things were bad for a couple of years at one time.

[MollyElise]

I have had good relationships that broke up, and thankfully it was a good breakup. We are still friends today.

 

I think if you keep breaking up or yo-yoing the relationship you should probably just break up and get over it. Go NC totally.

[Beyondthesea]

I truly believe that if you don't know the person is 'the one' while you have them, you either don't deserve them/they don't deserve you, or they aren't the one.

 

I really believe love is a completely magical thing, and when the one comes, you will know. My bf (now fiance) and I talked about marriage within a week of knowing one another. We were engaged within the first year of dating, and our wedding is next year.

[Momene]

I believe in the concept of "The Few" rather than "The One".

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I truly believe that if you don't know the person is 'the one' while you have them, you either don't deserve them/they don't deserve you, or they aren't the one.

 

That is not necessarily true. In fact, in a lot of cases the two people who were meant to be together broke up and then got back together and got married. Sometimes some time apart helps you appreciate your partner more. Not everyone moves at the same pace in relationships. There is no one size fits all.

[trash mail]

momene. I do agree with you there.. to me there isnt the "one", i refer it to the one that you hope that you marry or see a future beyond 10years. Somene that are willing to plan the future with.

[Momene]

That is not necessarily true. In fact, in a lot of cases the two people who were meant to be together broke up and then got back together and got married. Sometimes some time apart helps you appreciate your partner more. Not everyone moves at the same pace in relationships. There is no one size fits all.

 

I've not known many cases of where people have broken up and got back together. I've known lots of people go into yo-yo relationships.

 

The last bit about not everyone moving at the same pace is VERY true, though. I've always been very keen to take a relationship to the next stage and in 2 cases was a major factor in their end. When I met my wife, if anything she wanted to move even more quickly than I did.

 

I've never had a medium term relationship because I've never wanted to stick in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere.

[trash mail]

momene... what is a medium term relationship?

[Momene]

momene... what is a medium term relationship?

 

1 to 3 years. In fact I've never lasted a year with a girl without being married or engaged but then I never had my first real relationship until I was 23. I never experienced young love or long distance during uni years.

[silky88]

my current partner is "the one" for me. i just know it, and have known it since day one. i have had three other adult relationships prior to this one, two of which turned into broken engagements. but i am happier with this man than i ever was with all of the others put together. it's like magic. seriously, i would have thought it impossible for anything to be this good if i weren't living it right now.

 

but we did break up once, for less than 24 hours.

 

he was single for seven years before he met me, had never been in a true adult (not teen-aged) relationship, and had got it into his mind that he was really good at being single and didn't want to open himself up any further. this was about five months into our relaitonship.

 

he gave me some line about how he "didn't really feel that way about me" and i let him know that i was crushed, because i was so sure that it was right for us to be together, but that i knew i couldn't change his mind if he didn't feel it too. we cried and spent the night together, and i left before he woke in the morning, thinking it was over.

 

we work together, so the next day i was being very cordial and stoic, not letting him know how torn up i was. but after we got off work, we had a drink together, cried some more, and he took it all back and said that he was stupid -- that he really saw a future with me, and loved me, and was more compatible with me than with anyone he had ever met, that he was just running scared -- we kissed and made up, and we'll have been together a year on new year's day.

 

it's perfect.

 

but yeah, we did break up once. for less than a day.