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i can't call the problem friend. i immediately hang up after the first ring, low self-esteem and all. i even want to wave but she took no notice. her friends will not like me. i met one of her friends before and she seemed like she was only following the leader. i am afraid they'll think who that was if i called. i get the feeling that they don't want to spend time to make another friend. all of them seem to be upper middle class families. what should i do? i can never relax in the quad with all those groups hanging around. did all of you thought that its easy for anyone to be themselves? my real self isn't that interesting. it's what i grew up with. i tried so hard to push the negative imagination away. i only made it worse constantly worrying about it. i have terrible social health and i need major help.

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