Ineedsex

[Muchachoz4]

So, not to sound selfish, or abnoxious or anything, but im pretty sure im going to go crazy if i dont have sex soon...Im 17, and Im a Virgin, which some may consider too young, but Im pretty damn sure im ready.

 

I really only have one possibility of having intercourse, with a girl who im starting to think doesnt want too....she likes about 3 other guys, all of whom like her just as much as i do.

 

My worries, I guess, Are that Im not going to lose my virginity soon, and the temptations are all around me, taunting me. So Im not sure what to do....I can try and stick with this current girl, and see if I have a chance (Which if you knew the whole story, you would probably say no) or should I try to move on to another girl(which is next to impossible, because im one of the shyest guys ever).

[southerngirl]

Do you even like the girl? If so then build a relationship with her.

 

Trust me it will not rust and fall off if you dont use it yet.

[Dako]

Unlike your hand women have emotions and self-repect.

Maybe your willy is ready, but what about your emotional maturity?

 

What do you do afterwards? What if one of you forms an attachment, and the other doesn't?

Just dump the other and walk away? Are you horny enough to risk unprotected sex or pregnancy?

 

Maybe you have it all figured out.

[rose2summer]

Do you really want to be with a woman who likes 3 other men at the same time.

 

Intercourse has many emotions involved in it, so if she is spreading her emotions to others in addition to you, you are bound to get hurt.

 

Start a stable, healthy relationship and then if things seem to be going positively, then you can decide whether you are ready to share physical intimacy.

 

Hugs, Rose

[emptyinside4yearsafter]

The Meaning of Sex

by Marty Klein, Ph.D.

 

link removed

 

Sex has no intrinsic Meaning. Almost everyone wishes it did.

 

The desire to give sex meaning is an understandable, important enterprise. Honestly approached, it can be a valuable exercise; disguised as the righteous desire to simply appreciate the meaning sex has, or as the pursuit of restoring sex's "true" meaning, it is a common source of conflict for both individuals and society.

 

Sex only has meaning insofar as we experience it. Its meaning is emergent, not objective. We discover the meaning of sex each time we are sexual, meaning that only resides in our experience. The meaning of sex changes--is reinvented--each time we are sexual.

 

Most people need sex to have meaning because the alternative is too frightening: being sexual in an existential vacuum. Sex without meaning would require participants to float freely in sexual experience, rather than being snugly anchored in a cognitive framework.

[itsallgrand]

I promise you, you can not go crazy from not having sex.

 

Since you say you are a shy guy, you are most likely conserving all that sexual energy inside like a big furnace. So you're afraid it's gonna blow. (no pun ever intended by me).

 

Wack a hockey puck. Take up long distance running. Play football. Get it OUT.

 

It helps you - confidence wise, buffing up, being in a team, getting energy into something productive instead of going through your stack of photos yet again. (or whatever you do).

AND

 

Girls tend to love to watch a man get sweaty. Indeed.

[vermilion]

It's easy to get sex!

 

VERMILION'S GUIDE TO 'GETTIN' SOME'

 

1. Approach every girl you see (and I mean EVERY girl) and say, "Would you like to sleep with me?"

 

2. When you finally get past all the "No way! Get away from me!" 's and find a girl who agrees have sex with her.

 

3. Go to the nearest clinic and find out what STDs you have: herpes, gonnorhea, AIDS, chlymidia, et cetera. (yeah I suck at spelling, so sue me.)

 

My point is, you can easily have sex with some girl, but is it worth the consequences? Even if you don't end up with anything gross or life-threatening, you may end up feeling guilty about it or wishing you had waited for the right one. Sex will be much more enjoyable if it's safe and you actually care about the person. Find a nice girl, get to know her, make sure to use birth control and condoms.

 

Until then, your hand'll just have to do. Sorry! I know it sucks * * *.

[Muchachoz4]

Yea, so i noticed that a lot of you think that I should wait until i find someone that I care about, and I find that completely true, but the thing is, that I really dont have many options...Im not ugly, or stupid, or mean...in fact, i find myself to be quite an outgoing, comfortable, humorous guy, but the problem is that I dont talk to any girls lol, I just sit and mind my own business....This girl that I Like...she is my ex...shes on Birth Control...she has condoms, she doesnt have any STD's, and her previous bf of whom she lost her virginity too has a rather small...limb.... and she knows that Im the opposite of small, so I know shes curious, and i also know that we both have some sort of "feeling" for eachother, wether that feeling is intimate or not for her, i have no idea. So the only thing thats standing between us, is her choice to label us friends while she flirts with other guys right in front of my face....So i guess that I want to have sex with her, but i really dont think she feels the same way, but im still trying.

[silky88]

dude.

 

take a breath.

 

chill out.

 

now listen:

 

first, if she calls you her "friend" and flirts with other guys in front of you, she is almost certainly *not* going to have sex with you. second, it's a little piggish (okay, a lot) to be evaluating all the girls around you simply on their likeliness to have sex with you. most women find that unattractive.

 

i agree with the advice the others have given you -- you need to find a girlfriend before you worry about having sex. sex is mostly dumb and unsatisfying without the framework of some sort of relationship. concentrate more on getting to know girls for their personalities, and they will be less repelled by you. girls are pretty good at telling when all a guy wants is to get laid.

 

it'll happen, eventually. but probably not until you stop making it the focus of every thought in your head when you talk to a girl.

[Muchachoz4]

This girl is the type of girl who knows exactly what she wants...she will tell me how she feels at any given time, wether it hurts me or not....she is sort of selfish, and she is really not a very nice person...(Why im attracted to her is probably only because of her looks, which i know is also selfish on my part, but bare with me)

 

So she thinks that we are close friends....well at least I think she does....She might be trying to stay close to me so that she can make me jealous...anyways, we are close. I still like her, and she thinks we are friends....so she tells me about her boy problems like im her friend....which kinda stings... My point is that I dont want to be the type of friend with her that has to listen to her problems, not because im mean, but because It sucks....

 

How do I become less of friends with her, and how do i widen my reach of girls....remember im the shyest kid ever, and most of the girls at my school are out of my reach.

[Beec]

Many men have made it far longer without getting any. You will too.

 

But, if you really want to have sex, then you should figure out to to get a woman to feel like she wants to have sex with you. There are millions of women in the world, thousands probably near you. Sooner or later, one will say yes.

[Spacey]

You have a lifetime of sex ahead of you. The more you rush it and stress about it now, the more put off girls would be. This might be harsh but it smacks of desperation, and girls will run a mile if they think this is all you want (which they will realise).

 

So relax, chill out about sex and just let it come to you. It will.

[Cadence308]

Maybe your willy is ready, but what about your emotional maturity?

 

 

LOL I second this.

 

You say you are ready for sex, but all you talk about is how you aren't getting it and how you want it. Why don't you try viewing sex as an emotional experience when you are in a committed, trusting relationship with another person? When you think you have found that then try saying you are ready to have sex. Being ready for sex means more than just the ability to get it up...you have to think about the other person and the repercussions that could come from having sex like STDs and an unplanned pregnancy.

[Muchachoz4]

Well, the reason i seem so jumpy to have sex, and why i dont wait to have a trusted relationship, is because i am only in highschool...Ive found that in highschool it is next to impossible to have a trusting relationship, and that even if you do it really isnt as pure as it could be in 5 years...So i figure that while im in higschool, and maybe college I will "enjoy" myself, and try not to worry about making commitments in highschool just to have sex...As barbaric as that sounds, this is how I veiw the early years of my life...Fun now, Romance and deep Relationships later.

 

 

Lol, the funny thing is that I say "fun now" but im still not having any fun, so maybe a few pointers would be awesome about that.

[talo]

Well, the reason i seem so jumpy to have sex, and why i dont wait to have a trusted relationship, is because i am only in highschool...Ive found that in highschool it is next to impossible to have a trusting relationship, and that even if you do it really isnt as pure as it could be in 5 years...So i figure that while im in higschool, and maybe college I will "enjoy" myself, and try not to worry about making commitments in highschool just to have sex...As barbaric as that sounds, this is how I veiw the early years of my life...Fun now, Romance and deep Relationships later.

 

Sounds like you are on the right track here, being young is for having fun, not for anything serious; not even serious about having sex. I mean if we _have_ to have sex it isn't much fun.

 

Lol, the funny thing is that I say "fun now" but im still not having any fun, so maybe a few pointers would be awesome about that.

 

"Not having any fun". That's funny. I mean fun isn't anything you have or do, it's the way that you do whatever you are doing that's fun. And so even if your 'not doing it' that can be fun too.

 

In fact I have found that lightening up on not doing it can ease the intensity of needing to do it. It also seems to create oportunities to do it, and just when we don't _need_ to do it too.

[Shadows Light]

If I haven't gone.. in my celebicy.. then surely you will not either.

 

Believe me... I do remember way back in the cobwebs of my day.. being 17 and having those HORMONES pinging. You will not go nuts.

 

The object of your desires really needs a little more from you than just your WILLY. Its the way we're wired I think.. very few of us can just "have sex" and be content with the carnal act. We need to be loved, respected, held in esteem. We need to feel that special invisible intangible tie.. before we allow ourselves to "express" our emotions in the carnal act...of SEX.

 

So... get your hormones in check darlin.. go take a cold shower like the rest of us.. go for a walk, a run, get involved in sports, go lift some weights, go read a book, listen to music, hang out with friends, and just BE......

 

And along the way.. try to learn to stop, look, listen, and smell the roses. Learn what it takes to appreciate your lady love for other than... the sexual release that your body yearns for.

[dude69]

let me tell you something buddy.. its the quality not the quantaty...

 

I was 17 when i first had sex so dont worry.. the right girl will come