HE has low sexual libido...is this normal?

[dance]

my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 2 years now but on we're on a long distance relationship. he's planning to move here next year and so i've been holding on.

 

during his first few visits he always wanted to have sex. he couldn't keep his hands off of me. i loved it. but then lately he hasn't had so much libido. we hadn't seen each other in a year before this last visit and the 2 weeks that he was here he never inititated any of the sex we had. it was always me who wanted it. in fact there were several times that he didn't want to. one time we did it and he didn't even care to cum. he just finished me off and then we stopped.

 

i talked to it about him one time and he said that since we hadn't seen each other in a year he had gotten used to not having sex and didn't really have the urge for it. he also said that he was really stressed out with work. i just can't believe he didn't want me after not seeing me for a year! is this normal? doesn't a guy usually want to have sex? isn't it something they think about a lot?

 

do you think maybe he's not in love with me anymore? is he not attracted to me (i asked him this and he was like, "of course i'm attracted to you")? is it normal for a guy not to want to have sex under these circumstances?

 

if anyone can help me out there with this one i'd appreciate it.

 

thanks.

[vesper]

maybe you are chasing him too much instead of seducing him. just a thought

[Aschleigh]

It takes a bit of time for a couple to get bakc their rythum after being apart for so long.

That being said I think I would want to have sex in the airport bathroom if I hadn't seen my boyfriend in a year.

Are you sure he isn't having sex with someone else while he is away from you and now feels weird about cheating on them?

Do you two converse on the phone in a sexy way?

How do you keep the passion alive for a year apart?

I don't think I could do it.

[sparkle1]

I've never really experienced this myself - however, when my B/F was cheating - he used to forget who he'd had sex with...and make me wait for ages (as he got confused! see - cheaters need to have good memories!)

 

We are all heading in the cheating direction and it may not be true. Maybe men who are restraining themselves for a whole year - have to try and turn of sexual urges to be able to keep going?????

 

I think the men on the forum could help us out more...

 

I would be concerned....

[dance]

the things is...i think he is cheating on me. because it's not normal for him not to want any after not seeing me for a year.

 

we even talked about it. i asked him if he was still attracted to me. then he hugged me and started kissing me and i was convinced he was.

 

i'm so confused now. i think (since we're apart for so long) he fools around with the online community and actually meets up with them. i'm not sure but that's my gut feel.

 

just wanted to see what people would say about this. and yeah...especially the guys.

[sparkle1]

If you have a gut feeling that he is cheating - he is.

 

Never ignore your feelings. I tried to dismiss mine & stayed in a dead end relationship until it nearly broke me....then i had no choice but to listen to the feelings i'd repressed for so long.

 

I wished i listen to my gut instinct - i would have saved wasting another 9 months on a relationship.

[arwen]

Hey dance,

 

I am afraid that I'd think the same thing in your situation. You'd expect that if you didn't see each other for a year, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you when you do see each other.

 

My advice is to ALWAYS trust your gut. I have been in LDR, but was never separated for longer than 2 months. But then again we lasted for about 5 months lol. How are things aside from his 'libido'? I could also sense that my LDR bf was thinking of ending things (we ended in mutual agreement though, and he was not cheating). We were still sexually active the last time we met, but just 'something' was different about it, as if he was holding himself back.

 

Why do you think he is meeting up with people online? Is this by any chance how you met him?

 

Ilse

[rightfromthestart]

yah...i understand low libs man....i used to wanna do the deed 10 times a day...now i am down to 5.

[Rabican]

I would flat ask him if theres someone else... just to see how he reacts. If thats your gut instinct, go with it. Although it could just be stress, and lack of sex... if he goes without for a while, he 'might' get used to going without.

 

But for me low libido would be wanting it 5 or 10 times a day instead of 20. But im a fiend, so dont listen to me.

 

I would be questioning wether or not I wanted to be with someone I only saw once a year, and when I did, not getting any. That would sort of irk me to death.

[millaj]

I was in a LDR for a while too, and in the beginning the sex was all the time, and then when she moved here it got lower. It could just be that he's used to you, and doesn't see it as something to look forward to anymore.. it's maybe just routine now.