Bad Situation. Help!

[sportsbunny]

I have a friend that I feel is almost like a soulmate to me. We click so well. Things were very rocky between us this summer, but they have greatly improved. One small problem is she now has a boyfriend. I happened to find him online...I was looking for one of my friends with a similar name. I showed him to one of my friends (not a mutual friend). She then realized that she recognized him. It turns out that one of her friends has this guy on her friend list. So my friend's friend messaged him and asked about his current situation. If he was single or not. He said no but it's nothing serious. He flirts with her (they only talk online) like crazy. There's no doubt in my mind that he would cheat on her (my friend) in a minute. He really likes my other friend that he talks to online and tells her that quite often. The whole situation makes me SICK. I really want to tell her that he's a cheater and she needs to get rid of him before she gives him her heart, but at the same time I can't do that. If I were to tell her that I'm afraid she would resent me for it. Also, I feel like it's not my business because she never asked me to check him out for her. Does this make sense? I'm just at my rope's end. I don't know what to do. It kills me to see her smiling at him, holding onto him, liking him, and knowing that he has that little of respect for her. What should I do??? image removed image removed

[MewSkitty]

If it was me in this situation, I'd tell her that he may cheat on her. If you care that she get's hurt or not you should do this. She may get mad at you for doing it, but it's to protect her feelings from getting hurt.

[Azual]

Honestly, you should let her know that this guy may not be the best one for her. She'll be angry, she'll yell, and she may hate you for a while. However, either she'll be far more cautious of him, or she'll try to make you jealous and get closer to him, then he may cheat on her and she'll look back on this and see you were trying to protect her.

 

The choice is yours.

[annie24]

you know, you are in a tough spot!

 

yeah, you can tell her that he is a cheater, but she will probably take his side and say that your other friend is *beep.* You can tell her what you know, which is that he is spending a lot of time talking to this other girl.

 

Otherwise, if you try to convince her to break up, she may not take it well and turn on you! people tend to "shoot the messenger."

 

good luck - you will need it!

[arwen]

I don't know if you're the person to tell her. But maybe you can address the issue in a more subtle way. Start a conversation about her relationship, and how she feels about things and if she's truly happy, and try to explain her that the behaviour you've witnessed from her bf worries you a bit.

 

Ilse

[Jakeshake]

Hey hey! I gotta agree with the others on this.. Its a completely bogus matter, but they're right!

I know you care about her, so maybe things WOULD be best if you let her know.. However... You can't expect her to feel the same way. One thing I wouldn't do is to go just start telling her about the friends list and all, as she may take that as some kind of... infringement on trust or whatnot. But I know you care for her..

Just tell her the truth about what you think about him, OR start slow! Build your way up to it! We're not telling you to sabatoge the relationship, but this other girl DOES and SHOULD have a right to know.. You know? =)