The Crying Pony Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 My first love broke up with me two months ago and up until Saturday I was still spending time with him and contacting him like a mad-woman. He treated me so badly though , that i decided yesterday to cut him off and out and start healing. He's been seeing new people and has made a bunch of new friends (girls too!) and now I'm so afraid of seeing him somewhere and I keep thinking of all the girls who will fall in love with him just like I did! I don't want to hurt anymore. Any advice?? Link to comment
Closure Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Well, you've accepted that you want to start healing, it DOESN'T MATTER what he does, he isn't your problem anymore. Thing's will pick up with time, the more you get out there and enjoy your life and have new thing's to do. The hurt is subjective, it's your perception of how hurt you are that will determine how long it takes. You'll bounce back. Optimism helps, knowing one day you'll laugh at this! Link to comment
The Crying Pony Posted September 18, 2006 Author Share Posted September 18, 2006 Thanks, it really helps to know that other people have gone through this and have healed. But why does he have to be such a pig about it?? Im just anxious about my future alone. Keep thinking he's out partying, guilt-free and I'm moping around about it. I have been going out, but I feel like he has all the power and that he's laughing about it with his new friends and girls. He's not even that attractive, just really charming and fun... Link to comment
Closure Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 See my first sentence above. It doesn't matter what his attitude is, it doesn't matter if he is out partying. You need to take the power back and the only way to do that in my eyes is show your complete and utter indifference in all situations. Forget him, he made you cry, anyone that does that is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, EFFORT OR TEARS! I promise you this. Thanks, it really helps to know that other people have gone through this and have healed. But why does he have to be such a pig about it?? Im just anxious about my future alone. Keep thinking he's out partying, guilt-free and I'm moping around about it. I have been going out, but I feel like he has all the power and that he's laughing about it with his new friends and girls. He's not even that attractive, just really charming and fun... Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 It's soooo hard to separate your heart from your head, they always seem to be doing different things!! NC is the hardest thing to do, hmmm trust me I have failed miserably and made an idiot of myself for about 3 months now? Just like CLOSURE said above, it's pretty much his loss if he can't see someone who truly cares about him. Worry about YOU, Take care of yourself, yes it's time to be selfish here!!!! Link to comment
Closure Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 I'm glad I find NC so easy Link to comment
The Crying Pony Posted September 18, 2006 Author Share Posted September 18, 2006 I'm new here, what is NC exactly? I would literally murder to feel better! I have this desperate-nauseating-sickening feeling in my chest and stomach and I just want to get rid of it. Does it necessarily help to remember bad things about your ex?? Link to comment
Closure Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Nope, what helps is getting everything out of your mind. NC is no contact. No calls, emails, no seeing them, no nothing. It's cold turkey and it's about YOU moving on, it has nothing to do with them. For example. Last Tuesday I split with my girlfriend, she called me to end it. I haven't spoken to her since. I keep getting anonomous calls, I wonder if it's her but I don't care. I'm moving forward, this is about me. It was a six month relationship and I thought I loved her. Now a week later I couldn't care less. It's my way of dealing with it. Link to comment
tkrob Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 I know exactly how you feel! But, remember this will pass! You made the right choice to cut him off...I am going through this myself..and it IS really hard. But, don't go back to that. I remember one time after a past relationship ended, I wanted something to make me feel better. One of my friends told me something, that helped me out so much. She said, "You'll just have to cry until you don't cry anymore! One day you will wake up and you won't be crying anymore. And, then you'll know that you did it!!! You let yourself heal!" I hope this helps you too! Spend time with your girlfriends, too! They will help you!! Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 NC is No Contact....via email, messaging, phone calls, texting, visiting......nothing at all. Disappear!!! Let's you heal, instaed of constantly trying to find hope and also lets them know you arent desperate, (even though you feel you are) I know all about you nausea and tight chest etc. Heartsick explains all this, it affects you physically and emotionally...it's horrible, but you are not alone. Look at some posts from MAJORD23 he explains NO CONTACT perfectly.......please take care and remember there are alot of people going through this along with you, I'm on my 3rd month now Link to comment
The Crying Pony Posted September 18, 2006 Author Share Posted September 18, 2006 Yeah, my friends have been really supportive. He's moving back to his mummy at the end of the year. I cant wait for that cause then there's minimum risk of bumping into him. His mother lives in Johannesburg and it's like an hour away. I just, I know I'm young and there's lots of time, but i struggle to find guys who like me and who aren't total mutants (and I mean that in the nicest possible way...) Link to comment
The Crying Pony Posted September 18, 2006 Author Share Posted September 18, 2006 Well great. Now I'm on Day friggen 1! Wow, this is gonna be hard. But I'll persevere. Thanx guys, I do feel a bit more optimistic! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now