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My son's problem


TexanMan
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Hi all.

My family and I recently moved to a new town here in Texas.

The place is great. The people, or the ones I've met so far are exceptionally kind, and my job is wonderful.

But there is only one problem.

The town where my family and I are now living is much more liberal than our last one. My family and I are die-hard, Christian conservatives with heavy morals, and excellent senses of masculinity and feminesim.

My 15 year old son is strong hearted, and tries to live his life as stated above, however, I've had recent complaints from a teacher about how he treats other students.

My son has has also been getting into frequent arguments with a liberal guy around his age at school. I've seen this kid once or twice. He's far larger and far more built than my son (6'3, 170 lbs, while my son is 5'2 and weighs 103 lbs), and is the total package rocker/goth. Long indigo hair, goatee, nose piercing, you name it.

 

Anyway, to the main point. This guy and 2 of his friends attacked my son after my son stated he had a problem with one of them being homosexual. My son's nose is broken, as well as his right index finger. I asked to talk to all three of them, and surprisingly they came.

They all stated that they couldn't stand my son, and that not many could, that they were tired of his *bleep* and were not going to take it.

 

My son has also recently confessed to me that he is having horrendous trouble making friends.

I am scared for him.

The attacker's parents are not willing to pay for the medical bills that my family has, and the homosexual's parents are seriously thikning about filing a lawsuit.

 

Please help, I'm in a true dilema.

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For other students to beat your son is wrong.

 

Telling someone you have a problem with ther homosexuality is pretty much an insult, don't you think? Maybe you agree with your son and care little for the rights of gays, but he won't win friends that way.

 

If you read this forum, you might find too much liberal bias here, as well.

We have many gay members, and I've seldom seen it become an issue.

 

You said his teacher complains about your son's treatment of others.

What are those complaints?

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Hello Texanman, welcome to ENA,

 

First I would like to know what your techniques are in rearing your children. Have you taught them to not tolerate those who are different then them or have you explained to them there are many different cultures and beliefs out there and to love people for who they are, not what they are?

 

I too am a christian, but I have to say...LOL, most of the negative points you brought out in your post...well...happens to be me. I have piercing (one in the nose), tattoos, two blue streeks in my hair and I absolutely love 'gothish' clothing! My daughter, who also sits on the front pew, is 16, has MANY piercings (one in the nose), a tatt, dresses goth to the max and has three different hair colors!

 

The church of God absolutely love us, we are welcomed by warm and caring ppl every week and think nothing of how we look, they know we love God.

 

I do not condone violence, however, it is not your place to set your views of how ppl need to look or act and I think your son, which is probably only trying to walk his walk, may have steps on some toes and they were the wrong toes. Love your neighbor (instead of judging), live and let live ( don't preach to those who do not want it), have a kind and accepting heart and teach your children the same.

 

I personally would gather the parents around in a meeting and get this resolved quickly, if they do not want to hear it, the make out a police report and take them to court. This will not help your son make friends and may get him in more trouble!! Or, simply let your son fight his own battles and he will learn very quickly what not to say and to whom not to say it to.

 

I'ts a wonderful thing to love God but remember, christians do not own this world and you are to love those who dislike you too.

 

Yours truly, The Total Package....DYT

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I support the other posters. I too am Christian, but you need to remember that we are taught not to judge. We are supposed to love everyone and leave the judging up to God.

 

If you start telling people how wrong they are and criticizing their lifestyle, well you can expect problems. We can't impose our lifestyle on others. If you try, people will rebel and resist. It is no wonder your son is having trouble making friends if he won't accept people for who they are.

 

Even with all that said, for the boys to beat your son was wrong. Did you call the police? Did you file charges? If not, then you should. Why would the other parents file a lawsuit against you? Did your son actually start this fight?

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Hi Texanman...

 

Tollerance.. That is the next lesson you should teach your son. The world is full of very diverse people, with diverse beliefs and opinions, everybody can never conform to what we believe is "right". Of course your son has the right to his opinion, but so does the other kids. It is very sad that he had to get off on the wrong foot with these guys, and that the violence happened because of it. If I were in your shoes I would have a talk to my son about tolerating other peoples right to expression. It will make the world a better place for him to live in.

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I'll preface this by stating that no one has the right to put his or her hands on someone else without their consent.

I agree that the guys should be suspended for beating the hell out of your son...

 

However, your son should be taught to keep his views to himself. If he can't be accepting of people's differences then he should atleast be tolerant and agree to disagree...

 

I happen to be gay myself and I, personally, find it offensive that you refer to one of those kids as "The homosexual." As if he has no identity outside of his sexual orientation...

 

I used to be a Christian, but I no longer believe in that. However, I know that the basic tenets of the faith are, "Judge not Lest Ye be judged" and "love thy neighbor" and etc...

 

I think you should teach your son tact and diplomacy...ESPECIALLY in the face of someone who is capable of dragging him around like a rag doll.

 

Overall, it sounds like your son is having a horrid time making friends because he is alienating himself from other people.

I know you maybe hyper conservative and religious; however, allow your child to form his own identity and open his mind. There is a whole wide world outside of Texas(I live in Texas too).

 

As it is I think you do have grounds to file a counter suit. If your son didn't start the fight then you could sue them for assault and battery, or something....

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