anyone dreaming alot at the mo??

[flooglebinder]

Been broke up for 11 days now, and for the last week or so I've been dreaming alot, maybe 2-3 times a night, all very vivid, and like reality and have remembered quite a few, which is odd for me. Trouble is most of the dreams have my ex in or maybe some references to her or us. When I wake in the morning it just starts my day off terribly as if I needed it right now. Has any one else had the same happen? I hate it. I start the day more down than I want to be.

[Closure]

Dreams in some cases show you what you're trying to avoid in real life.

 

When you've closed this behind you they will stop.

[NJRon]

It's normal to have dreams like that. I have had them. Sometimes I would wake up from them and the sadness would hit me again because I thought the dream was so real and, upon waking up and realizing it wasn't, I had to go through the emotion of loss again... it lessens over time. In the meantime, it's just your brain processing information and emotion... finding places to stick it away.

[annie24]

i hate those dreams. then I walk around feeling down the rest of the day

 

they'll pass with time...

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

It most definitely is just a transference issue - it's on your mind in real life, it comes up in your dreams.

 

I'm having a lot of Deja Vu right now, 5+ times a day. I'm almost starting to enjoy the freaky free shows my mind puts on.

[desertnomad]

After 3 months I dreamed about my ex for the first time yesterday. But it was only a short dream and I had the same confused feelings about her in the dream that I always had in real life. That feeling of is she really being honest with me or that she doesnt know who she is or what she wants. So it didnt quite bother me all that much. Hope your dreams dont continue. I used to dream of the ex wife and it really threw me into a depression for a few hours. I wish we just could go through life without putting soooo much importance on relationships. I certainly am not there.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Actually, I can remember dreaming of an ex one night soon after our breakup.

 

I dreamt we were back together. I went downstairs to make him a coffee, having woken up, and it wasn't until I went back upstairs that it hit me...he wasn't there.

[itsallgrand]

Yes, I'm dreaming of him a lot now.

 

The weird thing is that the dreams are nice. Last night we were dancing. I woke up and started tearing, but it was okay.

 

I'm remembering tiny details about him that I was overlooking and not taking notice of in the last stages of the relationship. Tiny wrinkles, certain expressions he would make.

 

It will ease up, friend. I think this stuff is normal.

[annie24]

Yes, I'm dreaming of him a lot now.

 

The weird thing is that the dreams are nice. Last night we were dancing. I woke up and started tearing, but it was okay.

 

I'm remembering tiny details about him that I was overlooking and not taking notice of in the last stages of the relationship. Tiny wrinkles, certain expressions he would make.

 

It will ease up, friend. I think this stuff is normal.

 

did you and your hubby break up??

[itsallgrand]

Yeah, Annie. We weren't married - but pretty darn close.

[Ipso Fracto Man]

I know what those dreams are like. Classic 'wish fulfillment' stuff: you've reconciled, everythig is wonderful, and then suddenly you've got a pillow in your face and the sinking realization that you've been duped by your own brain and your love life still sucks. Not fun.

 

I had maybe 30 of them about one girl--lost actual count around 22 or 23--and I thought they would continue forever. Thanks to the healing actions of time and friends, I'm happy to say that I don't have them any more.

 

As others have pointed out, it's just normal brain function and a temporary thing. It might even help with closure by spelling out the "what ifs" so you don't have to think about them so much in your waking life. What I do know for sure is that these dreams finally went away and now mine are about normal things like invisible aliens and motorcycles that are powered by gumballs.

[stopit]

As others have pointed out, it's just normal brain function and a temporary thing. It might even help with closure by spelling out the "what ifs" so you don't have to think about them so much in your waking life.

 

I agree; most people think the brain sleeps at night, but it's actively processing all the emotions you experience during the day. Whether it has symbolic meaning is questionable, but it's still doing all the digesting of reality at night. Let your brain do its thing and the dreams will soon stop. It's quite a rollercoaster ride, but if try doing some reflection and evaluation during the day and find comfort in your friendships, the ride might end sooner than it would otherwise.

[TheDoctor]

Unfortuantley, 1 of the parts of the depression or what is very hard with the break up is that we have so many dreams that our body doesn't actually rest. I forget the term, but when you dream that much your body isnt sleeping and resting so that is 1 of the huge factors of the stress on the body.

[whoops]

only on day one but sunday is the hardest day and i am up and down i thought i was okay but i went for a coffee and nearly started crying when the guy asked for my money for the coffee and i dont know why - i keep imaging the promise of the future he built for me and how now he feels this was him fantasisng and in real life he is too scared for this. What can i do?

[kimmie11479]

I think the dreaming is like going through withdrawals. You are finally starting to except it and get that person out of your system. I’ve been dreaming a lot lately.

[flooglebinder]

Thanks for all your replies, tho I need sleep I dont like going to sleep because on waking, its an even bigger struggle. I want the days to go quicker, I cant be happy about anything rite now. Hate the weekends. Im going from anger to sadness to slapping myself round the face and back again. I want to change, I want to win the lottery, I want someone to fall into my lap and love me, then I want her back. SOOO FRUSTRATING!!!

[kimmie11479]

Flooglebinder, we made a deal remember. I think I’m starting to get better but it’s still hard. I just go day by day. NC. I know one day I will hear from him, and he will regret what he did and finally realized what he lost. Hang in buddy. I’m starting to remove myself a bit from this site because I read things that tend to give me hope and I don’t want to revert back to the stage I was in. if you would like to talk more or need support you can always email me. email removed. I check my mail at least twice a day.

[stopit]

What TheDoctor said about sleep and depression might be important to your situation. Not to say that you're necessarily clinically depressed, but going through a lot of emotions in the day is "mirrored" at night when you dream. The subconscious mind is very powerful and it stays awake for certain amounts of time when you sleep. But, it can only do its thing when you are asleep.

 

While it may seem counterintuitive to sleep more, it will in the end be very helpful to you. Look at it this way - sleeping for longer periods of time won't change the number of times you wake up, right? So if you sleep 9 hours a night, you'll feel well rested, have the energy to start the day with a fresh start, and even if you think the entire subconscious/dream thing is bologne (even though it's been scientifically proven), you'll feel better emotionally at the start of the day which will improve your productivity. When you're more productive, you'll feel better about yourself. And if you have more energy, you'll feel better about doing things, which will help you out anyway, regardless of productivity.

 

So ultimately, sleep is something you should not be cutting out!

 

As for the weekends, keep yourself busy, busy, busy! It's difficult right now, but if you've got something to do, preferably something that you can do with your hands like make canoes or play badmington or bake exquisite French desserts (none of which I would realistically expect you to do, but things along those lines work just as well!), at least you won't be dreading those moments in which you dwell on the past.

[poetsheart]

I'm having dreams all the time, have posted about them. I know how you feel. I see him in my dreams and it just makes things so much worse.... I think it's the subconscious mind is still with them. I hope they go away for both of us... Oneday waking up without any dreams of the ex would be great.

[poetsheart]

Hey Ellie,

 

The dreams are so haunting. I just want them to go!!! I just want to wake up one day and just live life not taking him in anymore... Lets stay strong!! Wish we were in the same town to drown our sorrows....lol.