Stories of Hope-Have you and your ex gotten back together?

[FinchFreak2002]

Does anyone have any good stories of hope? Please post your stories where you've broken up for a period of time, then gotten back together after a period of 6 months or more of being apart. How did you break up? How did you get back together? How has it been since you've gotten back together. I'm sure those of us who desperately want to believe that they'll get back with their exes would love to hear your stories.

 

I still believe there is hope for me and my ex. If there is no hope, what reason would I have to go on in life? I love this girl and I know she loves me. You can't take away 8 years. You can't erase the pages. I know that she is with this guy and he is basically helping her get over me. But as many of you have said, she hasn't dealt with any of the emotions of our breakup because she went right to him. And, you are right. When it ends between the two of them because they jumped into the relationship for all the wrong reasons, she will be forced to deal with 2 breakups. That is when she'll come and seek me out. Who knows where I'll be or who I'll be with at that point in my life. It could be 6 months from now, 1 year, 2 years, or 3 weeks. The point is, I will be moving on with my life and not sitting and waiting for her.

 

When I did see her, she asked me bluntly if I had a girlfriend. Because I'm not in a steady relationship right now, she's gloating. She feels good that she's in a relationship and I'm not...but boy once the tables are turned, I'm almost positive it will bother her. So I am going to stay away, I'm going to meet and date other people and I'm sure if 6 months or a year passes, she'll be wondering where I've been.

 

Finally, I still have hope for us. Listen to this story. I bumped into a guy last night in a bar with a couple of my friends. He happened to be a guy that my ex worked with almost 8 years ago in a retail store. I remembered him and I spoke with him for a bit at the bar. His girlfriend also happens to work at the restaurant there. Anyway, his current girlfriend and my ex happened to be friends 8 years ago. At the time, me and my girl were 17 and she was 15. We had gone to an amusement park together and somehow my girl and this girl had a falling out and stopped being friends. But this guy and his girl got together because of me and my girl. They met through her at this job. I was amazed that him and his girlfriend were together for so long because me and my exgirlfriend were together for the same amount of time. He told me how their relationship was on again off again over the 8 years. Funny thing is, me and my girl never broke up once. This is why I have hope. This guy told me that the longest point that they were not together was 1 year. 1 year of no contact whatsoever. I do have hope for me and my ex and if it means that we both have to date others and experience new things, so be it. I'm sure that one day the two of us will cross paths again though. You can never forget your first love, especially our long term relationship. Something will go wrong between her and "butthead" because they jumped into the relationship for all the wrong reasons. I do have hope for us.

 

FinchFreak 2002

[Senna]

I'm glad you think like that it's nice to hear someone so confident and I hope it works out I think you have the best plan by far in getting your ex back, I was with my gf for five years and I don't believe she could forget that so soon like she's pretending to and I know in time we will get back together even if it's 10 years from now don't ask me how I know I just do

[FinchFreak2002]

Well, I do know several stories of people who have been separated for a period of time, be it 6 months, a year, or more and have gotten back together. I actually work with a guy who is married to his high school sweetheart. He's my age, 25. They were together when they were 16 also. At one point, 3 years into the relationship they broke up and had no contact for a year. They managed to get back together after this 1 year of no contact. Today they are happily married. These are stories that give me hope. I know a lot of you feel maybe that you're trying to give me a reality check, but I need this hope to keep me going. I will date others and I will move on for now, but I still love her and she is my true love. I want to believe that after 8 years I still mean something to her even though she will not show it. She is with another guy and she wants me to believe she is very happy. Heck, she may very well be happy, but she is hiding her feelings and emotions about our breakup as she never dealt with it. When it ends between her and him, as long as I've stayed away from her, I'm sure she will seek me out. How do all of you feel about this? Do you have happy stories? Happy endings? Sadness over a breakup and then jubiliation after getting back together? I'm all ears.

 

FinchFreak2002

[Monkeypph]

yah there was this boy jason, we used to have alot of problems with our relatinship and we had finnaly called it quits. talking it out wasnt us apparently. we had alot of the same friends but we still managed to avoid each other. over a year later me and my friend were doing a play together and she invited him to come watch it. well me and jason gotto talking at the after party and just had an awsome time! he called me the day later and we've been dating ever since! so now we've been together a whooping 23 months and counting! not to mention we talk our problems out now hehe

[FinchFreak2002]

So no one has any good stories of hope? I certainly want to believe that there is hope because hope is what keeps me strong and keeps me together. Just having hope, gives me some peace of mind. Does anyone have stories of being separated after being so close but then getting back together?

[fifi8]

My ex clearly just wants friendship, if that, although when we talk, it's always me saying that I need to go, and he stays on the phone forever. He broke up with me, and when he did he made it very clear that all physical desire was gone. I've never had this from an ex before, so needless to say, it hurt. But we get on so well together, and he says he wouldn't rule out us being able to date each other in the future. Although in the same conversation he'll also mention stuff like he's sure I'll be the first one to date out of the two of us etc. Very confusing. Anyway, did anyone get back together with someone in a similar or worse situation than this?

 

Thanks.

 

Tink

[FinchFreak2002]

Well everybody, I'm happy to say that I met my ex the other day in the mall again. She actually seemed happy to see me and we went for coffee together. We spoke for about a half hour and she gave me her new cell number. We're supposed to go out one night this week. All this after 7 months of not really seeing her or speaking much to her. I don't know what her intentions are or what she's thinking, but nonetheless, I'm really happy we're talking and we're going to go out together. Any advice or ideas about how to proceed? I know I should take things real slow and not rush anything. I don't want to ruin this. I'm still sort of walking on egg shells here. Anyone have experience with this?

[whes]

I am sincerely hoping that there is still hope. Both my guy and I had just gotten out of long relationships when we started to see each other. Neither of us wanted to get involved so quickly again, but we really clicked with each other.

 

It hit the 6 month mark when we both realized that we had not been committed to the relationship, that we had gradually closed off from the other person. It's been about a two months since we stopped seeing each other, and I still think about him. I still miss him. it was a very gradual breakup, nothing immediate or negative, the intimacy just sort of drifted away. I think most of it had to do with personal healing from the other relationships, but I don't know. We never really talked about it, because like I said, we didn't feel comfortable really committing.

 

He is this sweet, considerate man, and I could so easily love him. I don't know if the whole thing was just a rebound, but it doesn't feel that way. I know that I had some issues going into it that weren't resolved, and so did he, so that got in the way of actually developing a deeper relationship. But there was something there in the beginning that was so natural and free, it was scary. I also think that that's part of why we backed off from each other.

 

Or, perhaps I am just fooling myself. I do that sometimes, fail to see what should be blindingly obvious, or take a long time to accept change. I am leaving the country for about 7 months soon, so maybe the distance will get rid of the remnants of the failed relationship, and make it so I can be with him. I don't know if it'll be something he wants. GAH.

 

I don't think I'm specifically asking anything here, just felt like adding something to the thread. I have yet to experience a "story of hope" for myself. I hope that I'll have one to tell.

[thelonelydoll]

It's a slight possibility in my life right now, contact has been re-established and a brand new friendship with a completely different way of communicating with each other. Most importantly, I have reconnected with myself, and he is forging a relationship with himself that he has never had. And that's where the love is coming from. What we have is rather undefined at the moment, but we both know that we do love each other - made possible only by loving ourselves.

[Cindersam]

thelonelydoll,

 

who re-established contact? the dumper or the dumpee? how long were you apart?

[thelonelydoll]

Cindersam: I "dumped" him, but the issue was forced by his alcoholism; I knew he wouldn't get sober unless I let him hit bottom and get help on his own - and my mental health was suffering from it too. That was in mid-March. I sent a text in mid-April to see if he was ok. He replied, but I resumed NC until I got to a point where I felt healed enough to forgive myself as well as him, and about ten days ago, I answered the phone and we talked about a lot of things in a very clear-headed way. He knows he wants me in his life and doesn't want to lose me, and for me it's like getting to know a new person. So we're enjoying one another, but are going about this very carefully and rationally. There are no firm plans, but he might meet me in Croatia next month to go rock climbing. Whether or not we see each other, we have a chance to build a positive, healthy relationship as long as we don't rush things and keep our eyes wide open.

[MM58904]

Do you think it's possible for feelings to come back? My ex broke up with me cause he said it wasn't working out and his feelings just faded. It's a long story but I still believe he is the one. If I can't be with him now, i would love to be with him in the future.

[MM58904]

It is hard. My ex and I are still friends, yeah yeah I know we shouldnt be, but not everyone is the same. I don't call him everyday or anything. He im's me first. He still talks to me and is still very nice to me. A few days ago we were talking on the phone(he was suppoosed to come over but he couldnt cause of work) and I kinda got upset and we kinda had an argument about our relationship, why we broke up etc. No yelling, I wouldn't call it an argument but I was just really upset and he got mad a little. But later that night he im'ed me and said he was sorry for getting a little pissed earlier. He has been very nice.

[MM58904]

No, he broke up with me about a month ago. We just talked on the phone a few days ago. I'm still confused about why we broke up, etc. I told him I just needed to talk to him.

 

I think he did date this girl for like 3 days last week, but I guess it didnt work out cause he changed his status. He never told me, I just knew from his facebook status and stuff. I didn't tell him I knew, I was kinda upset. he even im'ed me one night and said he had a bad night.

[jessicake]

mmm, i have just started seeing an ex from 4 yrs ago (we dated about 1 yr). its quite early days but i think we both like each other a lot. but its very hard to differentiate whether i like him because of him or the memory of him.

 

 

we broke up because we were young and needed to experience the world individually.

we didn't see each other for 3 years or so and then we just started bumping into each other everyhwere!

 

i dont know if this will become a story of success get back togehter, but mmm there is hope!

[thelonelydoll]

Whether it's him or the memory of him matters not - you have a shared past, and now you're starting up something altogether new after all this time. It sounds really fun - enjoy it!

[TMinCali]

Wow. This sounds like my situation. And yes, I know what you mean by the "scary" part of it. The love I had for my ex scared the crap out of me because I knew that I would be destroyed if it ever ended. Instead of concentrating on how wonderful everything was, I was concentrating on how bad things could get. Ever seen "The Secret"? I'm a firm believe that all the negativity I was thinking in the relationship brought on it's demise.