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jessicake

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  1. jessicake
    mmm, i have just started seeing an ex from 4 yrs ago (we dated about 1 yr). its quite early days but i think we both like each other a lot. but its very hard to differentiate whether i like him because of him or the memory of him. we broke up because we were young and needed to experience the world individually. we didn't see each other for 3 years or so and then we just started bumping into each other everyhwere! i dont know if this will become a story of success get back togehter, but mmm there is hope!
  2. jessicake
    Your post definitely sound like a good start to your fool proof road to recovery. I wish you the best.
  3. jessicake
    Dear Spiral Love, In all honesty, I feel that I can relate to how you are feeling. I finished high school at almost the top 5% of my state, and is considered attractive and also do some volunteer work. There is no reason for me to feel suicidal but I do. If you want, read my thread about suicide in the forum... I know that it may not help much, but please know that you are not alone! feel free to pm me...
  4. jessicake
    Congratulations for surpassing suicide! I am genuinely happy for you. Good luck for everything and I wish you happiness!
  5. jessicake
    thank you for your post somebloke, no i havent... i really should. I think that it is necessary for me to. It's not that I don't have reasons, there are definite catalyst... but perhaps none that would justify (even thou, i know nothing justifies suicide) even the contemplation of suicide. especially since i feel that the catalysts are actually positive. Shadow, yes I did see the link to the website. I came accross it a few months ago when I was looking for resources to combat suicidal thoughts. The site helped only temporarily.. .and then I felt that it just became words.. Althought I genuinely believe that what it says on the website is sooo true. Its strange, I feel that ending my life is not necessary.. rather it is such a waste. I am ashamed of feeling this way because I have so much going for me.
  6. jessicake
    What is the reason that even though I feel fine and good generally, I still want to commit suicide? I don't really understand..
  7. jessicake
    i think it depends on the person who says it! to me, they both mean casually with someone with not a huge commitment.
  8. jessicake
    well said!! thank you.
  9. jessicake
    dear llammas, please do yourself the favour of completely ditching your ex. he definitely seems to want to keep you as a 'back up' just in case the deal with the new woman is off!!! i'm glad that you have decided on NC. i hope that you will feel better soon, because no one deserves to be treated as a back up! feel empowered!! he is definitely not worthy of your hurt and pain!!!!!
  10. jessicake
    mmmm it seems that he is not interested in pursuing a relationship... not right now anyway. but it seems that he might be happy to be in a relationship when he feels ready. if he wasnt ready for a relationship with you in the same town then it would be even harder with long distance. i would suggest that you date other people as it would be unhealthy for u to dwell on him. he clearly seems to like u, but not enough for a relationship. so perhaps just have fun with him with no expectations. and at the same time date others and if u and him come to be more in the future then so be it, but do not stop urself from meeting other men and having fun!
  11. jessicake
    i m not going to let depresssion get to me! thanks for ur concern superdave!! ...twinkies.. yum! lindsay, good luck! keep us posted about ur feelings!
  12. jessicake
    i am 32A and i am happy with my flat chested ness. i think it fits clothes much better! when i was on the pill i was 32B or C and i really grew to love them but once i went off the pill i deflated back to a 32A and at first i had a huge complex about it but as time went by, i grew to love them once again! i like my flatness because i can wear lots of clothes and get away with it. (with no bra!)
  13. jessicake
    perhaps he has not replied because he is confused about what to write? or perhaps he did not want to pursue the relationship? or perhaps he did find out and was hurt that you lied? you wont know unless you do talk to him. but if you do want to contact him... wait a few days before u do and see if he does reply to ur msg. i would suggest not to appear desperate. (not that u seem like it!) do u know if he is dating other girls?
  14. jessicake
    keep up the NC... you WILL get there!!! after your denial stage comes the hardest stage... the depression... but after that, it all goes up hill!! be strong, it will get easier. look forward to all the things that WILL make you happy in the future.
  15. jessicake
    i agree with littlebylittle! music is great advice!!
  16. jessicake
    hey lindsay, i'm into my second month of break up and sometimes i also think... will i ever feel better? i remember thinking that i wont... but now i am looking forward to feeling better.. i have been planning lots of stuff for myself by myself and i think that has helped.. do stuff that you enjoy.. FOR urself... like join a yoga class or pilates, or volunteer. but do it for urself, not so that ur ex will see u r a better person! the worst that i felt was one month after our break up (we didnt have much contact at all- so it was ok to say that we had near LC- near NC.. he would txt to check up on me and i would be brief). i havent seen him for about 5 weeks now. but at the one month mark, i was seriously contemplating suicide!! i've combat depression for a few years and the feeling of loss and abandonment really brought it home! but i prayed and i thought of all the happiness i could be having in the future. i felt the worst after a month, so i suppose it is 'normal' or not uncommon to feel bad after 27 days of nc.. perhaps u have been in the denial stage and it does take about 4 weeks for a decision or event to really process. (i read that somewhere) i would suggest u see a cousellor to talk about ur problems before u decide on medication. there are always negative side effects to such strong medication. and no, it is definitely not pathetic to hold some hope.. although i say that, i also say that you will not be able to heal fully if you hold hope... i would recommend you remember the issue of ur break up. let yourself go, let him go. move on for yourself as well as him. I will say this, "if you are meant to be, you will be" it is so cliche but it is so true. you are 19, you have so many adventures ahead of you! so many more potential partners to meet before you meet the one. your relationship with your ex is dead. it can not and should not be revived. If by destiny and fate that you will be together again, it will be a whole new relationship. do not hold onto what has left you. remember it and always cherish it, but also learn from it.
  17. jessicake
    that sounds positive!! good luck!! u never know what might happen! i m sure JLo did not see what would have happened in Maid in Manhattan, and that Cinderella did not think she could have become a princess!! i hope that you will also have a happy ending like Cinderella... (not neccessarily to a rich man in wealth but a rich man in knowledge- you seem to be very down to earth!!)
  18. jessicake
    I applaud you for sticking with your beliefs. By doing that you are respecting yourself and your God. NEver compromise urself or settle for anything that u deserve less than. That makes you an inspiration. I personally believe in pre-marital sex.. as long as it is safe and respectful. However, your viewpoint is definitely not uncommon and I hope that you will stick by what you believe in because your future husband will love and respect you for it (along with all ur other good points!). Premarital sex can definitely lead to problems, as can abstaining from sex! but ultimately, it was ur choice (as u said) and congratulations on having direction!! its so rare to see someone early twenties (i would know-i m in that bracket!) who know what they want! good on u. And i feel that only by being urself can u find a true soulmate/ real love who will wholly love you.
  19. jessicake
    you wouldnt want a guy who wants a needy insecure girl anyway... that kind of shows that the guy himself is insecure and needy and wants to prove something.
  20. jessicake
    mmm... tough one... it does seem that she does like you... but u could be a rebound guy as well... then again, rebound guys can lead to more later on. or maybe u get to know her and realise she may not be the girl u want for a relationship. ask urself what kind of relationship u would want with her. just fun or a serious one. if she can commit to u, perhaps she will be able to forget her ex in time.. who knos tho. feelings and people change so fast that sometimes its hard to keep up.
  21. jessicake
    mmm i couldnt see the picture either. but i really doubt its your look.. especially when all of your friends say your not unattractive. i agree with most here who are saying you are stuck in the friendzone. some guys just have a whole pile of female friends but not girlfriends. they are also the men that i would not go out with or date for an extended amount of time. because i would feel that i am not really special, and that i am just another girl-friend, not a significant girl other. perhaps that may be a problem? especially if lots of ur female friends are v. attractive, maybe it will intimidate girls u want to date?
  22. jessicake
    i believe in the saying, "there are no ugly women, only lazy ones" beauty is so subjective, and i believe much of it is in the head. i am a uk size 6-8, US 0-2. i weight 100 pounds, and am 5'4. i have been that size all of my adult life.. and will probably stay that way. it is just my natural size. however, i used to have a fat complex. i always thought i had a fat stomach. i then started exercising and even though physically there wasnt much change, mentally i feel much more attractive. i can not tell you that you are attractive, i have never met or seen your physique or face. Plus even if i did say you are a beautiful girl, you would just dismiss my comment because u don't believe it urself. when i had my fat stomach complex, my boyfriend at the time would always say it was flat and i was silly. but i didnt believe him. because my mind was set on thinking it was flabby! ur mental state is definitely a huge huge part of ur attractiveness. anyway, i have a friend who is 130 pounds and same height with me and i think she is extremely attractive. there is 30 pounds difference between us but she the one who always have guys chasing after her because she has a really pretty face and holds herself up with confidence. its strange because she always attracts one type of man and i attract another. i would recommend you do exercise and eat healthly. (if you dont already). i dont know if you need to go on a diet (for health reasons) but i definitely feel that by being healthy you would feel mentally more attractive and happy with your physique.
  23. jessicake
    what are your reasons for telling him? do you like him a lot? do you still want to pursue your date as something more? have you guys been in contact?
  24. jessicake
    yeah thats true.. but its ok for a guy to walk around his neighbourhood topless on a hot day..to be comfortable. but if a girl did it, she would get arrested, or at least cautioned and warned. it goes both ways. i feel that its true that whatever a girl with big breast wear, it will look more 'provocative' than a girl with small breasts. some of my tops are low and show a lot of decollage and (non) clevage. But because of my 32A/B breasts and small frame (i am 5'4 and 100 pounds), it does not attract much attention at all. I do not dress tacky at all... most people dont even notice! lol i'm very clothes conscious, i believe strongly that one should dress for their body shape. Work with what they have and be proud of it. if my friend with C/D cups wore exactly the same thing as me, there would be lots of heads turning. As long as a girl is not wearing something disrespectful to herself or her friends, i say go for gold! if a girl is showing her clevage she should not show much leg and vice versa. but if she is showing both then it does suggest that she is looking for male attention. and when a girl does that, perhaps she is quite insecure and craves attention... maybe you should ask her what her intentions are in a subtle way... i would recommend talking about it indirectly because a lot of girls are very defensive about what they wear.
  25. jessicake
    i have A cups and i love my 'non' clevage (there is still some!!). i love wearing low cut tops because i am comfortable with my figure and my A cups. ... !! i find the collarbone and decolletage extremely sexy. i wear clothes for myself and not for anyone else. although i would decide what i want to wear for myself depending on who or where i am going...
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