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....i've been dealing with this girl for 11 months almost to the day and 3 months into i thought it was love, but now, looking back onto it, i dont think it was. I think it was indeed a wonderful feeling, but not love. just a REALLY REALLY strong attraction mixed with hella chemistry.


but, the past 2 months, our relationship has blossomed into something even more wonderful than ever before. Our comfort for each other has grown tremendously. Everything is evolving, arguments are more rare.


let me get to the point, just about 3 hours ago (around 8:30) she had to get off of the phone because someone called for her mother. so i waited, and waited, around 9 i thought she would call because thats when her free minutes on her cell phone kicks in....no call. my worrying increased. more hours passed, and during this time I called her cell phone about 10 times, left 3 voice messages, sent a text, called her house number 10 or more times, no one answered anythting, and she lives with 3 other people... this was odd to say the least. i sat here thinking the WORST of thoughts. Pondering on what the hell could be up. This is most unusual for her because she calls me and we talk 24/7.


I could barely eat. I couldnt watch tv with 100% concentration beacsue i was so worried and sad about this. She wasnt calling back. now i was thinking maybe she had another seizure, or maybe her grandfather died, or maybe she got hurt, maybe they had a house fire, i dont know, i was just so worried, and scared. I'm sorry i cant explain this 100% accurately because u'd have to know her to understand why i found this to be so unusual, but thats a given...


anyway, she finally called me at 11:30. I JUMPED at the phone. And when i answered i let out a big sigh. i immediately asked what happened. I told her i almost cried. and as soon as i said that. my eyes teared up. She told me she got sick from something she ate earlier which turned out to be much more minor than i thought but it was just the thought of losing her that drove me to tears. she told me to hold on and i plopped my face down in my bed sheets and began REALLY REALLY crying.


Is this love? Like true genuine love and concern that i'm feeling? because, this isnt the first time this type of thing has happened but now all of a sudeden the fact that i had all these bad thoughts about losing her for some reason, it makes me cry like a little kid. is THIS love? because before i didnt really care THAt much... i mean, i cared, but not to the point where it made me sick to my stomach. She told me she was getting in the shower and she would call right back. I said bye and could barely talk because i was crying. I was trying to hide it.


when i hung the phone up, i began crying even HARDER. for a while, and I didnt know why. I was so confused, but..i couldn't stop. It was just a natural reaction. I need some sort of opinion or diagnosis on the situation. Is THAT love? or..is it something else? I dont know.. i really dont...I'm so confused..

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