he doesn't finish..why?

[sillygurl]

My boyfriend doesn't always "finish" when we have sex. We've gone for hours sometimes, minutes others, but more often than not he just says he's having fun whether he finishes or not. I ALWAYS finish, sometimes more than once! I feel fortunate, but insecure about this, as though I'm doing something wrong or am not attractive enough... He's otherwise healthy, young and very easily aroused. So...what's the deal?!?

[007]

He's probably "finishing" way too much by himself, when you're not around.

 

Or...he could have alot of pressure upon himself to "finish" 'cause he knows that often times he doesn't, thereforeeee thinking about that, rather than what he's doing. I think he's putting too much pressure upon himself to "finish" for you.

[renaissancewoman101]

My ex had trouble finishing when we had sex, mainly because he drank too much. It doesnt mean anything is wrong with you. My ex liked the sex with me although he had trouble finishing, etc., but he was happy to get me off.

[famousde]

My boyfriend doesn't always "finish" when we have sex. We've gone for hours sometimes, minutes others, but more often than not he just says he's having fun whether he finishes or not. I ALWAYS finish, sometimes more than once! I feel fortunate, but insecure about this, as though I'm doing something wrong or am not attractive enough... He's otherwise healthy, young and very easily aroused. So...what's the deal?!?

 

Interesting situation dear sillygurl.

 

I assume he is pretty young right? Does he take any medication? Or, is he a body builder and weight training around the clock? Are his genitals in normal? Did you ask him if he used to ejaculate normally? Has he always been like this with you?

 

My first instinct would be to comment that you are fortunate, in that he has healthy stamina inn bed, as apposed to "finishing" right away; however, I know that women do prefer that a guy finishes - and, that him ejaculating is more important to most - than his stamina if one had to choose. I get this from a poll I posted on this subject. Way more girls voted that they would rather have their guy suffer from premature-ish ejaculation, than to have him last a long time but not finish. The poll responses surprised me.

 

Well, hopefully you can respond to some of those questions and we can try to get to the bottom of this.

 

hugs

de

[lost_status]

Why dont you just ask him? Maybe he cant tell you or bring up the situation because he is shy or feels uncomfortable...

[sillygurl]

hee hee hee! Yeah 007, he actually is "finishing" himself at least daily. He's very rough with himself, that's why I wonder sometimes if I'm doing something wrong, like I don't feel as good as his hand(s?)

 

Renaissance, you said your ex was OK with getting you off, and not worried about himself, was that only when he was drinking? (My guy doesn't drink.)

 

Niether of you think it is weird that he can go for hours, literally, not finish, then go soft and be done with it when I'm getting tired?

 

Here's the kicker: he's 19!

[sillygurl]

Why dont you just ask him? Maybe he cant tell you or bring up the situation because he is shy or feels uncomfortable...

 

You know, I did ask him in the beginning, a year ago, because I thought it might be a medical problem, or in case I wasn't pleasing him adequately or something. He seemed really surprised and almost embarrassed, so I didn't want to push. The last time I mentioned it, he said he had fun because I was having fun. How is that even possible with a 19 year old???

[ForAnother]

Times that I can't finish are either

 

1) Im tired

 

2) Im drunk

 

3) I have jerked off earlier that day

 

4) We are in a disgusting place

 

5) Too many things on my mind

 

6) If she is trying too hard to be sexy

 

I think thats it.

 

I wouldn't ask him. I think he is fine, he just has to let go a little bit better.

 

For instance, it takes me a long time to cum with a girl that I don't know... as opposed to my gf, it can happen in 1 minute.

 

Just like girls, we have an oven that needs to be heated from time to time... Just our ovens don't break down as much.

 

-ForAnother

[FortunateOne]

I had this problem in my teens and the best way is to have him stop "finishing" with himself and you for a couple of weeks to reset his libido. Then when you do it his "muscle" memory will be in the past. Try it, it worked for me.

[jsx730]

I wonder sometimes if I'm doing something wrong, like I don't feel as good as his hand(s?)

 

 

Sorry hon, but you can't feel inadequate because of this. Us guys have...uhh... lots of practice.

 

As far as the problem, I dunno what to say. If he doesn't seem to have a problem with it, then don't worry too much about it. Hell, enjoy it even.

[igor]

hee hee hee! Yeah 007, he actually is "finishing" himself at least daily. He's very rough with himself, that's why I wonder sometimes if I'm doing something wrong, like I don't feel as good as his hand(s?)

 

There's the problem. Guys that masturbate roughly are less likely to be able to have an orgasm during intercourse. It is NOT your problem. He is going to have to learn to get satisfaction with a lighter touch.

[NotVeryHarry]

I had the same "problem" with my girl recently. I hadn't slapped the salami in about a week though, because I was anticipating our having sex for the first time together. The prime reason I wasn't able to finish was because of tension/ stress though, I believe. Wanting to pleasure her, and it being our first time together. Regardless, I enjoyed the experience immensely, but I think she took it hard. If you really want to make him pop, try seriously teasing him throughout the day, if you are able to see him all day, or at intervals throughout it.

Use your hands a little on him, for a few minutes, then go back about your daily activities. Maybe a little oral at some point. Use your imagination, keep doing this throughout the day, and he will be begging to pop at the end of the day.

[sillygurl]

Interesting situation dear sillygurl.

 

I assume he is pretty young right? Does he take any medication? Or, is he a body builder and weight training around the clock? Are his genitals in normal? Did you ask him if he used to ejaculate normally? Has he always been like this with you?

 

 

Hi- and thanks!

Yeah, he's very young, only 19. No meds, not a body builder, and he has completely normal genitals. He's always done this with me, bbut I don't know if his other lovers had the same issue...I was afraid to ask, actually. I'll have to figuire out a nice way to phrase that and ask him...

[InaneCathode]

To be quite honest, he's used to how he gets himself off. It's not as if he's physically desensitized, it's just hes used to exactly how he does it. It works perfectly for him because he's his own best friend (lol).

Probably alot of it is phsychological, i know it is for me at least. I can go hours without finishing. Almost every single time i end up thinking about "crap i can't cum can i?" and it brings me out of the moment. The best, and quickest, go around to date was in her basement and we heard her grandma pull up (she lives in the basement). Suddenly i was focused on cumming as fast as i can, and how bad it would be to be caught.

[craign]

I suggest give him a prepaid cellphone and tell him the next time he decides to rub one off by hisself to call you instead.Get him in the habbit of having sex with you then he wont have time to do it hisself.But yes that is the problem his winky is not sensitive after having his hand pulling on it all day.He obviosly has a sex drive out of control.Not to uncommon for teenagers.I went through that.When the discovery of being able to satisfy yourself comes about the exitement level has to come close to the invention of the wheel.Whats funny i had a couple hot girlfriends when i was young.It had nothing to do with not being attracted i just wanted that feeling more than 3 times a week.For 1.i dont have to convince my hand into having sex.2.Hand was never tired.3.hand never has a headache.4always know were to find hand

[sillygurl]

ok, a hearty thanks to all of you! I guess it means he likes me more than it means I am unpleasant in some way. Guess I'll stop worrying about it and get busy...ahem...get to enjoying more and worrying less!